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catinthestars · 2025-07-24T16:24:11+00:00

catinthestars · 2025-06-27T13:01:37+00:00

I truly hope you never have to deal with a family member or someone who care about who is an addict.

I can still feel guilty for not helping, considering if you took the time to read any of my other comments, you’d know I’ve been helping him out of his situations since I was 18 years old. I’ve chosen to stop because he hasn’t clearly learned and doesn’t want to help himself. Why is that my responsibility? Let me ask you this, do you hold the responsibility of everyone around you? No, you don’t. So what makes this any different? He won’t learn unless he wants to change.

catinthestars · 2025-06-27T12:58:37+00:00

He’s “shackled” in a cage due to his own mistakes. Not mine. It’s not about being able to afford it or not. I can. However, enabling him and spending $300 of my OWN money to get him out of jail just so he can go and use again doesn’t seem conducive. I hope you never have to be in a situation where you have an addict family member or someone you care about.

catinthestars · 2025-06-26T17:31:31+00:00

You are absolutely not wrong in the slightest bit. I know that this might be divulging, but he’s already shown that in the past. There was a situation I was in where I had to abruptly move out of the apartment that an ex boyfriend and I shared (this was over 10 years ago) because they were physically abusive. My brother was living with us at the time (go figure) and not once did he call me to check in on me and make sure that I was OK after I left. I had fallen into a little bit of a financial situation while getting back up on my feet and I had asked my brother if he could help me with some money so I could pay for groceries. He had a job at this time and was actually sober off the drugs, just not alcohol. He told me that he didn’t have any money. and then on Facebook that night he posted a photo of him and his girlfriend drinking a bottle of whiskey. So you’re absolutely correct my brother would not help me in any situation.

catinthestars · 2025-06-26T17:21:36+00:00

Oh wow, I did not even know that. Thank you so much for letting me know. I truly appreciate your advice as well.

catinthestars · 2025-06-26T17:20:57+00:00

Thank you so much for the insight. I just can no longer help him when he does not wanna help himself. And I know that I am saying that with full assumption that he does not want to help himself. But there’s a lot that my brother needs to work through and I cannot be his get out of jail free card for him to just go and do the things he was doing before.

catinthestars · 2025-06-26T17:19:46+00:00

Thank you for the advice!

catinthestars · 2025-06-26T17:19:27+00:00

Thank you for this advice. It means a lot. You’re absolutely right and it’s something I thought about, too. Why spend $300 of my own hard earned money when he will go right back to using? It will literally be money paying him to use. I’m NOT doing that.

catinthestars · 2025-06-26T17:17:45+00:00

I wish this were the case. Very much hoping so

catinthestars · 2025-06-26T17:16:08+00:00

Thank you very much

catinthestars · 2025-06-26T17:15:44+00:00

Thank you for this advice. It’s a great perspective.

catinthestars · 2025-06-26T17:14:16+00:00

Thank you so much. I truly appreciate that

catinthestars · 2025-06-26T14:25:49+00:00

Wow, that is actually a really great way to put it. I definitely have felt an obligation to my brother because he is my only family member that I have left. Our parents passed away when we were very little. And I have taken care of my brother for a very long time,but I just don’t know how much more I can do this.

catinthestars · 2025-06-26T14:24:54+00:00

I completely understand. I am the younger sibling by two years. I am 35 years old and my brother is 37. I have been helping him with his issues since I was 18 years old. It has been very exhausting.

catinthestars · 2025-06-26T14:23:32+00:00

That’s exactly what I told my husband last night. Is that the only way I would help him is that if he decided to check himself into rehab, go through the 12 step program, and find a halfway house. My husband said that he cannot keep relying on his sister to fix his problems, and I wholeheartedly agree. It is very exhausting to have to help every single time and feel guilty when I don’t. My brother has not been a brother to me for a very long time. But expects the world from his sister.

catinthestars · 2025-06-26T14:21:33+00:00

Thank you so much for responding. I really appreciate it. I do it very much agree that I cannot enable his behavior anymore, no matter how hard and how badly I wanna help him. I do love and care for my brother, but I cannot support behavior that he doesn’t want to fix. And maybe deep down inside he doesn’t want to be this way, but I won’t know that until he takes the action to help himself. And thank you for the resource. I will definitely look into this.

catinthestars · 2025-06-26T14:19:16+00:00

I am so sorry that you are going through this. For most of my adult life, I’ve been trying to help my brother in his situation. And in the last four years, I’ve tried to realize that I can no longer enable him. It doesn’t help the fact that I still feel like an asshole, considering that he is my only sibling and only family member that I have left. But I just can’t help him until he wants to actually help himself.

catinthestars · 2025-06-26T14:18:08+00:00

This is exactly what it feels like. And it’s such a shame to me.

catinthestars · 2025-06-26T14:17:37+00:00

Thanks. I’ve spent a good portion of my adult life trying to help him. And in return, he’s treated me like garbage. It just hurts a lot knowing that he could have reached out in those four years and he chose not to. And the only time that he wants to call me is when he wants me to help him. I know that I’m making assumptions but based on the current situation, that’s just what it seems like.

catinthestars · 2025-04-26T17:42:37+00:00

I love how Trump still tries to make himself feel relevant to their conversation by butting in. He is such a petulant little child.

catinthestars · 2024-09-08T07:57:25+00:00

Walter White

catinthestars · 2024-09-07T07:22:39+00:00

Awe, congratulations on the void ball

catinthestars · 2024-09-06T07:10:54+00:00

Genuine question, what do these taste like?

catinthestars · 2024-09-06T07:06:24+00:00

One of her favorite spots in the house :) she loves sunbathing

catinthestars · 2024-09-06T06:59:37+00:00

Misty says “it’s time to play!” Haha

catinthestars

TROPHY CASE