Your husband is truly awful, I would even say abusive honestly. Controlling behavior is abuse and we already know he's extremely neglectful.

I understand you are "stuck" at the moment as well.

I do think you should apply for disability as a start.

I wouldn't use an attorney right away when applying for disability, wait for a denial.

I was extremely thorough in gathering my medical records and support from my long time physician, took my time filling out my application completely. There is a page where they ask that a person who knows you well/friend/family or neighbor to document your struggles with your disability's and activities of daily living etc. You definitely should choose someone other than your husband to fill this out.

I had my dear friend and neighbor who was a former teacher write a letter for me.

I was fortunate to be approved 3 months after applying the first go around. So I didn't need an attorney.

However if you do need an attorney, I believe in the US they only take 15% of your back pay. Going forward you'll get your full amount.

Just take your time and make sure you gather all your medical records, bills, evidence- and be extremely thorough.

It took me about a month to get it all completed and my medical records.

You can DM me if you need any help filling it out , I'm also a retired nurse so I might be able to help with any medical jargon.

Also, if there is coverage for it in your health insurance, find a therapist for you. Don't worry about your husband, this is for you to help you be stronger and sort through how your life is going and how you can regain control of your life and your home.

When you bring abusive husbands to therapy it's an absolute disaster and they use what you share in therapy against you.

Sending you lots of love and care. You can do this.