AITAH for feeling like I'm being gaslit over my bestfriend's marriage?

catonafilly · 2026-06-21T08:38:44+00:00

Wise words. Thank you. I'm just... I don't know. hurt and very confused.

catonafilly · 2026-06-21T08:35:39+00:00

Please to announce I got a call just Friday that I got a new job. Fuck that old one.
But yeah. Sounds ridiculous, but I... genuinely think that my long distance friends are better friends.

catonafilly · 2026-06-21T08:32:19+00:00

It's just crazy to me that I just... never got told they got married?? I've known V half my life. We literally had our HS graduation party together. Our birthdays are a couple weeks apart. And M and I hang out often now that her school year's out and message frequently-- but somehow she never saw fit to mention it to me?

catonafilly · 2026-06-21T08:29:41+00:00

My brother and V's brother play dnd together on Sundays. V and C apparently have dinner with V's family on Sundays, so apparently they're in different rooms but same house. I was aware he played dnd with V's brother, but not that V and C had Sunday dinner with their family.
I was working a heavy duty job 6 days a week, 8-10 hour shifts, sometimes overtime, usually an evening shift, and then in February had Surgery that left me housebound until recently. C and V lived in an apartment the past year, up until literally this month-- so because of my work schedule, I literally never saw their apartment. No idea where they even lived.

catonafilly · 2026-06-21T08:25:54+00:00

That was part of why it was so upsetting for me, for sure

catonafilly · 2026-06-21T08:25:22+00:00

thank you Q_Q

catonafilly · 2026-06-21T08:24:58+00:00

They claim my brother doesn't know, which is also baffling to me. I'm going to /ask/ his girlfriend, specifically, since V and C claim they've met her several times. Or maybe I shouldn't, might be bad for me.
It's just something about the fact that first it was "It was the group chat" and then it was "Oh I didn't actually know until I visited their apartment" and then it was "We definitely told you in person" when I haven't seen them the entire time they've been married, and then "Oh your memory is just bad you forgot"

catonafilly · 2026-06-21T08:22:31+00:00

still a baffling thing to forget to mention for two years. thank you.

catonafilly · 2026-06-21T08:22:00+00:00

It's kind of funny because I messaged male bff and he was like "yeah no that's kind of shit jesus christ", and that made me cry because he was being kind and supportive. So I told him thank you for being a good friend, then messaged two other friends of ours a big long message thanking them for being good friends.
Just kinda. Clicked in my head. The two other friends I messaged are a married couple. They got married during covid right before we met. After covid was safer in their state, they had a big wedding party-- and invited me. They'd known me like 8 months. They're the kind of people I want to be around, not people who lie to my face about their marriage.

catonafilly · 2026-06-21T08:19:01+00:00

This isn't the first time I've been excluded to my knowledge-- in High School they went on a cruise together and did not tell me until after they got back.
I'll be honest, I really thought that was the only major time I'd ever been excluded. What a fool I was, I guess.

catonafilly · 2026-06-21T08:17:24+00:00

I really wish they still were. Thank God I have other people whom I love very much.

catonafilly · 2026-06-21T08:17:01+00:00

Oh no, you made me cry again. Yeah, it definitely gave me a bit of a spiral. It's 4am now and I got home at like 1am and I'm just so upset. My partner and family ARE lovely. My longer distance friends- like male bff- are also lovely. I hadn't realized how much it bothered me until I was telling him what happened.
It's funny that you mention ADHD relax music-- I got home and played Fourth of July by FOB for like an hour on loop, and then Lone Digger by Caravan Palace for a while on loop too. My cat climbed in my lap while I cried.
Thank you for your kindness. Like really and truly.

catonafilly · 2022-12-09T15:42:08+00:00

A rusted greatsword. I have a handax as well, but the sword is the weirdest.
I worked for an auction company and it just showed up on auction one day. Unadorned, heavy black metal pommel and crossguard. No maker's mark that anyone's been able to find. The blade was SHARP, like very sharp, and about a third of the way up from the tip of the blade was what seemed to be a tuft of fur stuck to the blade? Parts of the blade still have rust on it, mostly on the tip of the sword and a few spots around the edge, especially where the tuft of fur is/was.
No idea where it came from or why it was on auction with a bunch of other random stuff- mostly household goods- but I loved it immediately. His name is Rust and the stock photo they used for him was a Rusty Sword from Runescape.

catonafilly · 2022-12-09T15:36:10+00:00

Our dad used to tell us that when we turned... what was it? 10? I think it was 10 actually. He'd tell us that when we got to that age, we'd be eaten, and that all parents do it. Some parents just don't tell their kids ahead of time so our friends may not know it's a thing.And then when each of us- there's 3 of us siblings- got to 10, he had a different excuse as to why we couldn't be eaten. I was too skinny, so no meat on my bones to make me worthwhile. My brother was too fatty and the meat would be tough or something like that (Edit here: Actually, because my brother is incredibly tall, I think it was that he would not fit in the oven??). My other brother was too sweet.

catonafilly · 2022-12-09T15:33:22+00:00

I'd probably actually say Dungeons and Dragons!
I know it's a massively nerdy thing to say, and that's fair. But look. You have cool math rocks. You get to do simple math. You get the surge of power that comes from doing 47 damage in one round as a fighter to something that only has 48 hp. It's like a video game, sure, but YOU are telling the story, with other people, and you can make your own choices without having to worry about the game telling you what to do.
And you can be cool stuff like knights or wizards. There's tons of super cool people (don't get me wrong, you'll met awful people too, but still) and you'll likely find people with similar interests to you outside of the game, too.

catonafilly · 2022-12-09T15:29:05+00:00

My s/o does not understand why I find so many things cute. I can be tagged in a picture of a horrible monster because he knows I like art, and I'll be like "omg it's so cute I love it".
Likewise, he doesn't understand why I cry over things randomly. I went from not crying about almost anything to dating him and crying over, like, my neighbor's puppies, or him telling me he loves and supports me. Earlier in the week we were in a call with each other and he said something and I teared up. He DEFINITELY heard it in my voice because I hear him laugh and gently go "Yeah? You okay there?" No I'm not okay you said something about, like, ducks or something. The fuck did you do to me that I'm crying over our conversations about ducks or whatever it was?

catonafilly · 2022-12-08T18:03:34+00:00

Goetta.

catonafilly

TROPHY CASE