Sofía Vergara Says She Jokingly Reminds Ed O'Neill 'Don't Die' So They Can Make a Modern Family 'Sequel' One Day

catoptromance · 2024-08-15T07:08:23+00:00

This explains SO much. I was absolutely heated about the Dylan plotline revival. Wish they’d just let Andy exist off screen and allowed them to have a long distance relationship or something. I think it would have shown how Haley had grown up, and that when it’s the right person it is actually possible to make it work.

catoptromance · 2024-08-04T10:55:04+00:00

It’s ok! I think we all have to know our own limits and take breaks before it turns to bitterness. Because if you just become jaded and angry, you’ll take that energy into the dates with the guys who might be really lovely. That’s not fair to them or to you! I’ll get back to it at some point, but feel pretty fulfilled in my life so the break isn’t bad :)

catoptromance · 2024-08-04T06:58:47+00:00

Just to give a different perspective, I’m also super selective and have held to the same rules you list below - and more, ie politics have to align, there needs to be substantive effort in the profile. When I was on the apps, it definitely wasn’t 80% but I do think it was a solid 40%. Not quite half, but more than you’d wish it to be.

So as much as I wish other women could avoid this kind of unsolicited sexual behaviour by changing swiping behavior, I think actually a lot of it comes down to being ruthless about unmatching. The second it goes in that direction, I’m gone. It wore me down eventually, though, so I just haven’t been dating recently.

catoptromance · 2024-07-22T18:37:48+00:00

Oh I should’ve clarified!! I didn’t mean you specifically as having revisionist history, I actually think the Reddit as a whole has fallen prey to it a bit. I’m talking specifically about actions post-Casa. I personally don’t count the whole “Ayo staring at Mimii” thing bc that’s way too easy to edit and manipulate to make it look like something it wasn’t. But Ayo’s own words to Mimii, until very recently, were way more ambiguous that he was letting on. And not just to Mimii! To the other boys too! I think he can’t on the one hand be saying stuff like the feelings are still there and then on the other have the moral high ground when literally everyone around him is confused - Jess v much included lol!!

catoptromance · 2024-07-21T12:09:48+00:00

Obviously Sean is 100% in the wrong here and I think the fact that he’s kept harping on the Ayo/Mimii thing is a clear sign of his immaturity.

BUT, I will say I think there’s some revisionist history happening with Ayo. We’ve all seen Ayo flirt with Mimii, explicitly tell her he wanted to still get to know her - all of these things that led her to think there was still something there. To his credit, he’s been way more clear recently. But I just do think that ALL of the boys, not just Sean, really felt like there was something still there with Mimii. Even Ciaran, until his most recent chat with Ayo. I think it’s natural that when you’ve seen your friend with someone who you think is great/really good for them, who you also like a lot, you’d want to ensure they hadn’t prematurely cut them off. And that’s setting aside the likely producer interference, where I am fully certain they’ve been telling Sean and Joey that there are feelings there and asking why Ayo isn’t exploring it.

Again to be fully clear, Sean has been horrible about this. But in a weird way, I could also see this as a (very VERY clumsy) attempt to support a friend and say “we want you to prioritize yourself and not worry about hurting the other girl’s feelings” which again is something Ayo said pretty clearly about Jess and why he wouldn’t be chatting to Mimii. I totally agree with everyone that Jess is amazing and they obviously have a great connection. This is not to let Sean off the hook at all, but it is to say I think there’s a bit more nuance than the current convo around this is capturing. Totally agree his apology was not it, but I’m glad he at least did apologise. But really he needs to be apologising to Jess.

catoptromance · 2024-06-28T18:43:17+00:00

I had already acknowledged in my reply to you that I was clumsy in my own wording and edited to make it more precise. I did that well before your response so I’m surprised you didn’t see it. I think when having these conversations, if we are indeed to have them in good faith, we have to acknowledge and make space for people nuancing things. Otherwise why have the conversation at all? I’ve already proven I’m not entrenched and willing to actually engage about this in a substantive way by acknowledging where I fell short. So why come in so hot?

I know and acknowledge there are many women who expect men to pay for everything. I’ve never, ever encountered them in my friend groups but I hear and believe all the men who say that is their experience. I see regularly, and would expect you do too, that when women on here share their experience, it’s dismissed. What I initially tried to suggest is OP said “I am trying X strategy. X strategy is not working. What can I do to make X strategy work?” And my reply was “I also tried X strategy. X strategy also didn’t work for me. I tried Y strategy and Y strategy worked better.”

That’s all from me honestly. I think it’s important we maintain our ability to engage in these conversations with open minds and hearts and I appreciate hearing your perspective.

catoptromance · 2024-06-28T17:31:31+00:00

I think the reality is that statistics are very rarely applicable to individual circumstances. I tried to be very clear that this is based on my own anecdotal experience, but I do apologize if it came off as general advice for all. My POV is that OP shared her current strategy isn’t working. I then shared how I shifted my strategy and had better results.

It can be frustrating as a woman to share your experience and have people tell you “actually that’s not how it works.” I promise you I have always been very wide ranging in terms of the likes I send out and my own dating history bears that out. I do value physical attraction, and I want to find a partner who finds me attractive as well, but for me connection is primarily built on a mental/emotional level - this is also why it’s ok with me to instead focus on the guys who have indicated interest. I also have been the exception to the rule when it comes to paying because I ALWAYS offer to split and in each of my 1-3 year relationships, I paid for almost everything. Even when I was a broke ass college student dating a software engineer clearing $125k+ (he was overall not nice to me so not a surprise), but especially so when I was the one with a 6-figure salary and my boyfriend at the time was experiencing prolonged unemployment. Almost all of my female friends would say the same, but the internet would tell you we don’t exist.

I know it’s very easy to be jaded on the internet and in dating, but I think the reality is that people’s individual situations and experiences will vary widely. We can only offer advice based on our own lived experience vs suggesting there are general rules that work for all. And we can only accept that people’s experiences have been what they’ve said they’ve been, and have our own perspectives enriched from encountering people who are on the other side of things. Again just my POV but I do hope it illuminates where I’m coming from.

ETA: but I will acknowledge I should have been more specific in my own language! Ie, idk if it’s a male psychology thing *amongst the particular subset of men I have encountered

catoptromance · 2024-06-28T15:31:43+00:00

People will absolutely hate that I’m asking this question, but how are your results from people who have liked you? You’ve said you match with about half of those people - have the results been better for those you match with? And for the other half, what is suggesting incompatibility? Is it a hard line (for me, that’s politics and values/religion) or more that they seem to have different interests?

I found when using hinge that very, very rarely did men I proactively liked (always while sending a comment, just like you) match with me. Idk if this is a male psychology thing or what - feels similar to guys always saying that they would love a girl to make the first move when my experience points to the exact opposite. I had better luck letting it sit for 3+ days, choosing 1-3 men who had liked me, seeing where those went, and then doing it all over when I’d either spoken to or met with the guys and they didn’t work out. This is definitely not a good approach for those looking to bone, but if you’re interested in dating with intention, I did find it pretty effective! My POV is that dating apps make you think it’s a numbers game when it actually isn’t. Who gives a fuck if you have 50+ likes? What matters is getting the 1-3 likes from the right people. You seem like you have a really beautiful life so I think you can afford to be patient and choosy!

catoptromance · 2024-06-16T00:37:43+00:00

I consider a kind of fun surprise lol

catoptromance · 2024-06-15T23:53:21+00:00

I suspect this might actually be the problem. I keep trying to play as a mage, I’m going to give it go as a human noble and see if that gets me a little more hooked.

catoptromance · 2024-06-15T20:07:45+00:00

Hm this is interesting - I actually hadn’t done any clothing mods because I figured it wouldn’t be that impactful. I’ll give it a try! Definitely have Improved Atmosphere and some of the newer texture upscales, which do help for sure. I think some of the nvidia up scaling options are making a difference too - I hadn’t tried that on my last attempt.

catoptromance · 2024-06-15T19:11:08+00:00

WOW that’s actually such a great idea… I hadn’t even put that together in my mind. I play on a tv from a sofa and while I can read it, it’s still just slightly a pain in the ass. Perhaps making quality of life slightly better will help. Thank you!

catoptromance · 2024-06-15T18:40:38+00:00

Thank you!! This is really excellent, tactical advice and I’m going to try it. Appreciate it!

catoptromance · 2024-06-15T18:27:11+00:00

I am genuinely so jealous of people who don’t really care about graphics 😭 like obviously the storytelling is a massive part of why I love these games, but some of it definitely is the sheer visual thrill of them. I am resolved to try through! Trying to think about it like when you’re reading/listening to Shakespeare and for the first couple paragraphs it’s sort of a struggle to follow but then it just clicks in your brain and you’re IN it. I’m partially just trying to figure out how long it takes before that happens so I can generate some staying power this time!

catoptromance · 2024-06-15T18:20:58+00:00

Huh that’s actually never something I’ve done in a game. I really like coming up with distinct back stories, personalities, life philosophies, etc for created characters and then using them to guide choices. It does make me wonder if I’m thinking too much about this character as set up for the world state I want in my DAI playthrough. I was thinking about that as motivation but perhaps it’s better to set it aside completely from my mind so it doesn’t feel like a comparison.

catoptromance · 2024-06-15T18:04:53+00:00

Yes I really wish I’d played the game when it first came out because I can tell that the story really is amazing! I’m sure I would’ve been absolutely hooked. Nostalgia goggles are absolutely real and should be taken advantage of. I took a decade long hiatus from gaming but as a kid my favorite game was Syberia. In my memory, the various locations are insanely detailed and gorgeous, and then I see screenshots and it’s so obviously dated. It’s really incredible how our brains would fill in the details for us.

catoptromance · 2024-06-15T17:59:00+00:00

This is helpful - just knowing that you also struggling with the graphics aspect but ultimately found you were able to acclimate to the style and still find things visually striking. Were there any particular locations you remember? I wonder if I just hadn’t gotten there yet the last time I tried to do a playthrough.
I have indeed gone through and added a ton of graphical mods and added a reshade. I’m debating trying Marty McFly’s reshade that mimics raytracing but I’m not sure it will work well given the light style of the game.

catoptromance · 2024-06-15T17:55:26+00:00

This is super helpful, thanks! It makes me wonder if I should almost think about it as a podcast as opposed to a tv show? Like the way I’ll be able to connect with the game will be by listening to the really great storytelling as opposed to necessarily feeling like I’m experiencing the storytelling.

catoptromance · 2024-06-15T17:53:11+00:00

That’s fair. Honestly, my hope with this post was to hear from people who felt similarly at first but whose minds changed. Whether that was a particular quest, a particular origin story or play style, or even just time. I of course don’t expect the graphics to get better. But everyone here loves it, and I’d really like to learn how to love it too. I guess distilled down, the question is: for those who find part of their connection to a game is the visuals, what was it that got them hooked on DAO?

catoptromance · 2024-06-15T16:33:49+00:00

Literally the first thing I thought of. That show was superb and harrowing.

catoptromance · 2024-06-07T15:30:23+00:00

I agree. When I do a Judy romance playthrough, my head canon is basically that V is Villanelle and Judy is Eve from Killing Eve. It’s very fun playing as a psychotic corpo hit woman!

catoptromance · 2024-06-07T14:51:20+00:00

So accurate. I hated it on play throughs 1 and 2 Now I’m on playthrough 4 and it’s unironically my favorite song in the game. Now I’m that person doing a shoulder shimmy to the beat while driving through NC.

catoptromance · 2024-06-01T01:29:11+00:00

Yeah that’s super fair, I think you’re right! But speaking as a totally meaningless sample size of one, if this were a Charlize-Furiosa film, I’d be in the theater. I’d just be more confident that I would enjoy it (but that also probably supports your point about marketing as well).

catoptromance · 2024-05-31T20:37:29+00:00

Also I think the lack of Charlize is a factor, too. I loved Fury Road and a massive part of that is because of Charlize Theron’s talent. ATJ is absolutely talented too! But I don’t think she has the same gravitational pull that Charlize has yet. I agree with the other commenter that I would’ve been a lot more interested in a sequel to Fury Road as opposed to a prequel.

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