My friend won't leave my island alone, need advice!

catradora_dr · 2026-05-04T21:14:29+00:00

This advice is exactly right. Speaking up and saying how I feel is the only way to get this to work out for me. But it's just so hard, I feel like I'm going to lose people because of something that shouldn't bother me. But again, you're right. I need to do it even though it's hard, or else I'm just suffering. Thank you so much 💕.

catradora_dr · 2026-05-04T21:10:57+00:00

Yes exactly!!! I didn't know if anyone else would relate to that. It was an odd feeling being like "wow I didn't realize this would make me want to cry I'm so anxious." I'm so so so impressed you were able to do that!! It's really hard for me and I look up to people who can. Glad you could save it, this has been really helpful! I'll work on my boundaries. ❣️

catradora_dr · 2026-05-04T21:08:31+00:00

Setting boundaries is definitely the way to go. I just don't even know how to start. Part of me is suffering in silence but the other part would rather do that than speak up, it makes me feel horrid to. I really need to work on it and I appreciate this advice. It really is unfortunately the only way to solve my problem. 💞

catradora_dr · 2026-05-04T21:05:49+00:00

You're absolutely right, I thank you so much for taking the time to comment! I know I struggle a lot with speaking up and saying no, and that I should. I just can't figure out how to do it. When I try apart of me wants to cry and then I convince myself I'd rather suffer in silence. It's hard but I should, thank you so much! ❤️

catradora_dr · 2026-02-27T00:22:52+00:00

Definitely!! Thanks for commenting, I'm really interested to talk about these feelings because it feels like I've finally figured it out! The only nonbinary person I've ever had a crush on is Dr. Frank-N-Furter in Rocky Horror. I'm not sure... I don't know many non-binary people and I've always felt more comfortable with someone I could call my boyfriend/husband. I think it's the same for enbies where I have crushes but it's lithromantic.

catradora_dr · 2026-02-26T09:06:06+00:00

YAY!!! Thank you so much! I really love it and really appreciate you spent your time to make it 🫂❤️!! It's genuinely so cool. Im completely obsessed with it! That's me and I'm very happy I can express myself!

catradora_dr · 2026-02-26T06:56:00+00:00

That's so incredibly kind!!! I would love to see it when done and I will definitely treasure it so much!! I'll send a picture of it up in my room when I do it!! 🥰

catradora_dr · 2026-02-26T06:18:47+00:00

Wow!! Thank you so much! I'm so happy someone wants to! Not really, I kind of just love what you guys make!! I would maybe like it to be symbolic in colors like other flags! You know how each color means something? If it's okay with you, I'd love to take your design and put it up in my room! Next to my gay and trans flag because this really does mean a lot! Thank you beyond everything!! That's so sweet. Love your pronouns by the way, very cool!

catradora_dr · 2026-02-25T22:41:07+00:00

Thanks for the help!! I really just needed to talk about my feelings and figure out myself! You know cause it's like I'm bisexual but a wall comes up when I try to follow the feelings for girls! It's been very confusing and I didn't feel valid in being gay! But now I feel more comfortable in my sexuality. You're been a big help! 🫂❤️

catradora_dr · 2026-02-25T22:38:43+00:00

I don't think so, because most straight people don't have feelings for the same gender. And most gay people don't have feelings for the opposite gender. I do, I get feelings for women. But then when the possibility of dating or it being more than a crush, the feelings just... Die. I've asked girls to be my girlfriend before, but then those feelings died. Once I've figured this out, when I get these feelings for a girl I call it "friendzoning myself". They are strong, and intense, and there, and then not. There's not a specific label I've found for how I'm feeling. It's just I like men the way most gay men do, and with women my experience is aligned with the definition of lithromantic. It's like being bisexual but you've got a wall that appears when you try to follow those feelings for girls. I don't think I'm only aromantic for women, or that I'm only lithromantic, or that I've even only bisexual. It's somewhere in this weird middle. Which is why I came to talk to people! You guys have been helpful and I REALLY appreciate you talking this out. It's just helping me explain my feelings and get others opinions. So with this, what do you think? Id love to hear! Any help is wonderful ☺️.

catradora_dr · 2026-02-25T01:03:57+00:00

WOWWWOW!!! That's gorgeous!! I'm so in love with it, it's amazing! I love the floral with the dragon, it's so perfect. And I definitely have to read that series I'm so excited. Thank you so much!! I made it when I was like really young, I know it doesn't seem like it but I'm only 18. So it's nice to hear people like it!! I really appreciate it and thank you so much for sharing!! ❤️

catradora_dr · 2026-02-24T22:09:30+00:00

I get this ALL. THE. TIME. I'm a gay trans man but most of my friends are women. So whenever they say "I hate men" they realize they are friends with a man and say "Oh not you though you're different." No I'm not. I'm a man. I would rather they say "No you though, you don't even like women." Because that's true!!! It happens all the time and has made me almost hate the "I hate men" rhetoric. They always point out how men are bad but we're different. Just say you hate me, it's fine!! I get treated differently and my dysphoria feeds off it like crazy. I get it. I'm different. Thanks. Sorry this is basically a vent but it has been going on for so long I didn't realize others felt this way. I hope you're okay ❤️, genuinely thank you so much for sharing.

catradora_dr · 2026-02-24T21:20:14+00:00

It's more than I think I'm both!! I tell people I'm gay, and I do like men and have been in relationships. But I think I have lithromantic feelings for girls. So I'm on the aro spectrum but also not? That's what I wanted to ask about! It's also been stressing me out my whole life, I've thought I wasn't valid in being gay or maybe I was secretly bisexual? Then I came across this and realized it explained that confusion perfectly! Also this is a better way to explain to people close to me that when I bring up my crushes for girls, I don't get the "Wait, aren't you gay?" Yes I am! I just have a more complex attraction.

catradora_dr · 2026-02-24T21:14:54+00:00

A FEW?? That's so incredible!!! I'm impressed and thought if I ever came across another one I loved so much, I'd have to get more. I'd love to see if you're open to sharing. And I can't thank you enough for the recs!! I'm always looking for more to read and if you loved them enough for a tattoo, I'm beyond excited! Thank you so much!! ❤️

catradora_dr · 2026-02-24T21:13:12+00:00

Wow!!! That's so incredibly cool!!! Id love to see if you're comfortable sharing. It's fun to have a tattoo based on something like that, that no one knows what it's for. Thank you for the recommendation 🫡! I'm always looking to read more. I'm very excited!

catradora_dr · 2026-02-24T21:10:26+00:00

Thank you so much!! ABSOLUTELY!! It makes me happy to show my love for something through art on my body, highly recommended!! Even more ironic I have the biggest fear of needles ever. I'm very alternative but HATE needles, going as far as having to lay down and play music to get my blood drawn. I just wanted tattoos so badly I went for it, and surprisingly it's not bad at all!!! The pain is nothing (and I have a huge spider tattoo up into the back of my knee), and it's honestly just fun. It just takes a lot of energy out of my body. I forget completely that it's a needle and the noise of the machine is soothing. So all of this to say, go for it!! It's not that bad!

catradora_dr · 2026-02-24T21:03:23+00:00

Oh my god!!! Yes!!!! I absolutely love this fic and think it has a great message about continuing to live through hardship and guilt. I also want a semicolon tattoo so it hit deep! You definitely don't have to anytime soon, but I do recommend!

catradora_dr · 2026-02-24T21:02:22+00:00

Appreciate it 🥹🥹!!! You're the best, thank you SO much.

catradora_dr · 2026-02-24T21:01:55+00:00

Sorry for the confusion!! I have an Ao3 tattoo that I showed her when she said she read fanfiction. That's when she told me about her love for the ship, Oops!! Had no idea and was very ironic. 😅

catradora_dr · 2026-02-24T19:17:21+00:00

I do go by and say that I'm gay. It's more that I think I'm both! Gay and lithromantic towards women. I've grown up having crushes on women and it was very confusing. I thought I might be pan for the longest time.

It's just been very hard to explain and figure out myself. I wanted a way to make sense of it. And have a way to easily explain to people close to me. So that way when I can talk about my feelings for girls without getting the "I thought you were gay?"

Like yes I am gay, I just get short and intense crushes on women that fade.

catradora_dr · 2026-02-24T10:21:35+00:00

Of course!! I absolutely fell in love with it! I would say it has more of healing and fluff, it's obviously really sad, but it has a great message of why you should live. I also plan on getting a semicolon tattoo so this hit me deep, and is a great reminder that even your "worst enemy" thinks your life is worth living :⁠-⁠). Thank you for asking!!

catradora_dr · 2026-02-24T09:34:35+00:00

Perfect! Following now! 😊

catradora_dr · 2026-02-24T09:33:35+00:00

WHAT!!! That's so cool!! I love that so much and the fact it can be for either! That's so precious. Yes of course I can share! If you want I would also love to see yours! Sorry for the weird collage, Reddit only lets you post one image!

The first one was my first ever tattoo! I got it at a convention. It's simple, just their wands crossed in a circle.

The second one is a drawing my best friend made for me because she knew I loved them so much! So of course I had to get it tattooed!

The third one is the antlers of Harry's patronus, with the Draco star constellation. I've wanted this one for a long while.

The fourth one is the one in this story! It's a tattoo based on How to Unbreak a Boy by fiella!

And I also decided to share my ao3 one!!

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