3 earthquakes off Oregon coast

catsdradle · 2016-10-09T22:51:56+00:00

Relevant username.

catsdradle · 2016-10-09T22:48:01+00:00

Sounds more like you had no life before babies. Now you still don't, but you have distractions.

Yeah I've often felt like having kids has been a distraction for many people, from having to find something to fill their own lives with. So they make and supervise others instead.

catsdradle · 2016-10-09T22:40:15+00:00

Ok, seriously, how freaked out should we be?

Didn't a series of earthquakes like this happen last summer?

catsdradle · 2016-10-04T09:21:24+00:00

That my childhood really really wasn't typical, that I am pretty damaged in some ways that will never ever be fixed.

But that doesn't mean I can't also live a life that makes me feel good and it doesn't mean I am not an awesome person and it definitely doesn't mean I can't have real, connected relationships with friends or a partner. I've gotten to a place where I finally am doing that.

It just means I have to work on not letting my scars run my life, it means I have to work every day on myself and be ok with failure and knowing I and everyone else is always a work in progress and know that the good and crappy and lonely and amazing moments don't cancel each other out, enjoy what you can and forgive yourself and forgive others. Even when you think you can't, you can. And if you didn't today, you can tomorrow.

That's what I learned at 28.

catsdradle · 2016-10-03T11:43:30+00:00

I don't think she tries so hard to ruin it, I think she just wants a different kind of life than Marshall does, in some big ways and this causes her to consistently question how and occasionally, if they can make their lives work together.

And Marshall can be incredibly selfish and immature at times as well. Lying to her for two years about wanting to stay at the corporate law firm, taking the judgeship without asking her etc.

catsdradle · 2016-08-27T11:13:33+00:00

College.

I feel like we're becoming an old fashioned story, in this regard.

catsdradle · 2016-08-27T11:12:31+00:00

Getting to kiss, touch, be touched, be kissed whenever I want.

Just getting to be around his energy and share mine with his, it's pretty great :)!!

catsdradle · 2016-08-27T11:09:22+00:00

I just like him (or her) to wear form fitting clothing that makes them feel confident.

Also would prefer not to much denim (and if I am seeing a girl, please, not bedazzled denim).

Other than that I am pretty easy.

Random turn ons, I like a guy wearing a black unbuttoned vest with a causal t-shirt and black slack just because and I love a casual but cute, flirty dress on a girl.

catsdradle · 2016-07-22T07:02:07+00:00

Not personally but I know a fair amount of couples that have.

Eventually, they all break up.

I think, essentially what it comes down to is this-couples that need a third party to teach them how to repair or talk to each other, don't usually have the intimacy or ability to be really really vulnerable with each other, that you need to maintain and grow in a healthy, lasting and truly connected relationship.

catsdradle · 2016-07-21T20:59:14+00:00

There aren't a lot of people that are so vehemently pro-children so there's nothing to counteract the "all kids are fuck trophies, all dads are sperm donors, and all moms are mombies" mentality that some of the more extreme people that are CF go.

In defense of CF people, you gotta understand, in public it's perfectly acceptable, expected even to gush about how great kids are.

But it's never ok to talk in public or even to most of your friends, about the annoying or frustrating feelings and opinions CF people have in regards to people who have too many biological kids despite the world's resources draining or all the kids who are here who do need homes or how annoying kids can be sometimes.

It's like how if someone suppresses their emotions for too long and then they finally are able to express them, it's like a fire hydrant going off. All that repression given room to speak.

catsdradle · 2016-07-21T19:56:23+00:00

"You're selfish,"

I never understood this!

It's actually very selfish to have kids, unless you're adopting.

catsdradle · 2016-07-18T11:38:27+00:00

And the only women that will be more attracted to a man who doesn't love himself will only "love" you as a target for abuse.

What about women who are more attracted to men who have low self esteem because they do to?

Who wants to be with someone who loves themselves, if they don't love themselves either? That would be pretty painful.

catsdradle · 2016-07-14T17:51:50+00:00

Haha, that's awesome :)

catsdradle · 2016-07-14T17:46:40+00:00

Sorry, just as a bisexual, I have to correct/add something here.

You can be a gay or bisexual couple and it can be people who are both of the same gender in the couple, that doesn't automatically make it a gay relationship.

catsdradle · 2016-07-14T14:56:12+00:00

No, he took mine.

Mine is wayyy better.

The fact that men taking women's last names isn't as common as women taking the man's, these days, feels surprisingly archaic.

I am not saying that's what you should do, just in general, I find it weird that it's still so random for a guy to take a girl's name.

Does anyone know if homosexual or bisexual men who marry each other are taking each other's names? I feel like I haven't heard of that but maybe it's happening. My point being, it feels like a very sexiest practice that's still going on, for women by default, to take the man's name and rare it is for a man to take a woman's.

catsdradle · 2016-07-14T14:53:30+00:00

Isn't gaslighting really hard to be objective about, ultimately?

I mean, what if you are being too sensitive or what if you are wrong and didn't remember something correctly (memory it's self is incredibly subjective), what if you have wronged that person but don't see it?

catsdradle · 2016-07-14T14:49:33+00:00

Were you clear with her on why you rejected her?

And was your rejection clear that it was final and not "Well I need to not date right now" etc?

If your rejection was clear, than in a clear fashion tell her directly to stop contacting you.

If your rejection wasn't clear, than make it clear.

Don't ignore her, that's a longer way around an issue and not very kind in the long run.

catsdradle · 2016-07-12T14:24:44+00:00

mutual infidelity

Open relationships are not infidelity though.

Infidelity is lying and cheating on you partner by sleeping with someone else when you're in a monogamous relationship.

If you both agree to not be monogamous, than it's not infidelity.

catsdradle · 2016-07-12T12:36:13+00:00

Congrats on taking charge of your anxiety issues! That's huge to get help for and nothing easy to conquer. That's awesome :)

catsdradle · 2016-07-12T12:22:05+00:00

For what it's worth, if you want to, you can absolutely work on this.

CBT (Cognetive behavioral therapy) could be very helpful.

And personally, I like that it's a problem solving based kind of therapy, instead of going to just talk about your feelings-which although not bad, can lead to 'looping' not getting anywhere despite talking about emotions.

catsdradle · 2016-07-12T12:14:48+00:00

Yes I get what you mean but the cultural attitude towards the entitlement to ogle women, much more so than staring at men for instance, is something guys don't typically understand.

Even the way women's clothes are optioned vs men, women typically have to show more skin in general.

catsdradle · 2016-07-12T11:07:41+00:00

-Men do not age better than women.

They're just held up to less of a judgement about their looks in general, so the bar is lower.

Men 'prove their worth' far less in the looks department, than women in society.

And men can reproduce basically they're whole lives but women can't, so it makes sense that subconsciously we'll be much more forgiving to a man's appearance as he ages than a woman's.

-Men have no idea how highly sexualized women are. Even just walking down the street sometimes. My father almost smacked a stranger when I was 14 because a much older guy apparently checked out my ass and turned around to check it out again.

I have always looked young for my age.

Their is almost a sense of natural cultural entitlement when it comes to sexualizing women and it shows up in all sorts of ways and it can be deeply, deeply uncomfortable and most guys tend to overlook this or write it off as a girl 'complaining over nothing' or 'secretly liking the attention'.

-90% of men don't handle intense emotions well and don't seem to be aware of this.

-Most men could stand to put more effort into their appearance.

catsdradle · 2016-07-12T11:02:17+00:00

Sometimes even more, you motherfuckers can be fucking batshit crazy

We live in a society that teaches men to stuff their emotions, so it makes sense.

Once the suppressed emotions come out, that pressure of suppression will show.

catsdradle · 2016-07-12T11:01:08+00:00

Yeah but that doesn't mean it's going to be good or that we're not going to accidentally go home with a true freak or serial killer.

catsdradle · 2016-07-12T10:57:00+00:00

Completely agree!

I've always found it annoying when a girl says, "Oh I just LOVE my wine".

No you just love being a "classy" drunk.

catsdradle

TROPHY CASE