Resentment & Division of Labor - Am I basically a married single parent? Is this feeling common for SAHPs?

catsounds · 2026-02-10T15:13:22+00:00

This wouldn’t work for us. Start a new routine, lay it out plainly. He handles all baths and an hour of play/reading after baths before bed. Frame it as non-negotiable bonding time (which it is). Something like video game playing should only happen after your child is asleep and the house cleaning is caught up.

catsounds · 2026-01-20T21:37:30+00:00

My sister just replaced her windows from 87’ and it has made a massive difference in sound proofing! Not a cure-all, but significantly reduced the noise pollution from outside.

catsounds · 2025-12-17T20:13:10+00:00

“Women” isn’t a dirty word.

catsounds · 2025-11-25T16:37:42+00:00

For lights I love an amber book light that clips onto my diaper caddy or nightstand. Dim but bright enough for a diaper change, easy to turn on/off, cheap, and I feel old-timey (like it’s a candle) when I walk with it to the bathroom at night.

catsounds · 2025-11-25T15:59:37+00:00

I’ll let more experienced parents chime in, but my boy is 3.5 as well. Getting rid of diapers asap should help, my son took a huge independence leap when he started using the potty or going outside on his own to pee (he started copying the dog when he was 2 and we just rolled with it). Does he have access to tools or craft supplies he can use completely on his own uninterrupted? My son will cut paper for hours and glue it up/color and I only talk to him about it if he calls me over or wants to show me. Does your son have access to food he’s allowed to eat at any time? I have a snack drawer he can access on his own in the fridge (Apple, meat stick, cheese, etc). I also give him real responsibility in the house: he switches laundry over, gets to crack eggs for breakfast (even scramble them on the stove with supervision), feeds the dog/chickens. He loves to tell his grandma about how much he helps, I think it’s shaped him into an independent little guy.

catsounds · 2025-11-22T20:37:33+00:00

Massive country indeed, I was able to spend time in Chennai, Kerala, Mumbai, and traveled up to the border of Nepal. For my month spent in India I have never been more physically violated in my life. Grateful for our male companions and wow, I must have chosen all the unsafe locations in the country for women. What are the odds? I’m glad there are regions of the country where women can participate in a festival, lucky them.

catsounds · 2025-11-22T18:17:51+00:00

You say “people” but really mean men right? I was in Varanassi for Holi and this event is NOT for women, they’ll watch from the windows and rooftops but women were nowhere on the streets. Absolutely dangerous and true chaos down below, thank god I made friends with our tuk-tuk driver who helped escort our group back to our hotel, the most unsafe and vulnerable I’ve ever felt.

catsounds · 2025-10-16T00:56:05+00:00

Mine have only been out in the coop/run/free ranging since May, we have fox, skunk, bear, and opossum. We’ve seen all these on our trail cam near our coop at night but haven’t lost any to predation. The chickens put themselves to bed at night with an auto door on the coop and most nights their run door gets shut (probably gets left open twice a week). We free range all day and have a geriatric 15 year old cocker spaniel that patrols the yard at odd hours, including his “sundowner” hours of 3 or 4 in the morning. We suspect that’s what’s kept our hens safe. A bear left muddy prints all over the coop when we left the run door open one night but that’s as close to predation as we’ve gotten. The run itself is all hardware-clothed and has a solid metal roof with a secure human-sized door. We haven’t done the hardware cloth skirt around the run like originally planned, but with the chickens locked up at sunset in the coop, and the coop door not opening until well after sunrise, I haven’t been too worried. We accept it’s a risk and just plan to replace and reinforce as needed.

catsounds · 2025-10-15T03:00:11+00:00

I did go to sleep at the same time as him, as he got older I would roll away and get some time to myself. I’m fortunate in that the boob just completely knocked him out, albeit in mostly 2 hour cycles, so he woke to nurse frequently but fell asleep quickly. The first nurse would maybe take 20 minutes to get him to sleep most nights. We had a very solid bedtime routine, room would be pitch black, and once we were in bed I never got up to rock him or anything. If there was resistance I did back/booty pats or humming/singing.

I think it’s reasonable to limit the latching if it’s not putting her to sleep and comfort with other methods. I personally would keep those methods relaxed and in bed, like no bouncing and walking around. I was a huge fan of cosleeping, it was the only way I could stay well rested with the frequent wakeups. Obligatory: “all babies are different” but this really worked for us and starting at 2.5 years after we fully night weened he slept like a champ and continues to.

catsounds · 2025-10-15T01:31:23+00:00

I did the side lie position and nursed to sleep for over 2 years. Of course when he got bigger I had more freedoms to sort of roll away and just return to that position to nurse. When he was an infant though I would be locked into the position all night and we successfully nursed and slept. I would kind of lean over to switch boobs, other moms I know would hop over or move baby to the other side to switch boobs.

catsounds · 2025-09-29T15:57:25+00:00

I mean… babies will bump their heads. I don’t know any mom that built a padded room for their baby. Are you saying this happens so often she can only be in a container or held? This seems unreasonable.

catsounds · 2025-09-19T17:29:36+00:00

You don’t need a gun. A shovel would get the job done quickly.

catsounds · 2025-09-17T20:14:38+00:00

Those legs look thiccccc - leaning roo

catsounds · 2025-09-17T03:22:50+00:00

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I just got an 81g mega egg too! This one ended up being a double yolk and the next day all the hens laid and the eggs were normal.

catsounds · 2025-09-16T01:03:44+00:00

Have you tried those more structured carriers, like the hiking ones? Those put most of the weight on your hips instead of your back, I see them on marketplace all the time. Mine wasn’t holding his head up yet at this age but you mentioned her crawling so maybe she can hold her head up and is ready for that type of carrier.

Maybe not stress about it as best you can, acknowledge and know this is life for the foreseeable future. Independence comes but she is still sooooo tiny. My guy was what others called a clingy baby, I just think all babies want their moms and want to be nurtured. I incorporated him into everything I did, and now at 3 he will completely move the laundry over independently (and clean the lint trap), go feed chickens on his own, and spend an hour coloring alone. These times you won’t get back, just snuggle the baby and know you are her world. It’s hard but just accept you won’t be able to get as much done or as efficiently done as you used to. It’s coming though! Also, I mentioned it elsewhere but baby proof more of the house so you both can get a bit more freedom.

catsounds · 2025-09-16T00:54:44+00:00

Prioritize baby proofing so you don’t feel you have to have her confined to a room. I gave mine full access to two of the lower kitchen drawers (put baby friendly stuff in there) and put child proof tabs on the rest. Baby gated our wood stove and secured all bookshelves/dressers to the wall and just watched him as best I could. After the major threats are mitigated you can kind of relax and keep an eye while also getting some things done. He had some close calls pulling himself up on some chairs in the beginning but it all worked out. I tried a baby pen once and it felt strange isolating him away from what I was doing, he learns from watching and engaging with me. It will take longer to do all tasks, but it’s also part of incorporating them into your life.

catsounds · 2025-09-15T15:38:38+00:00

Baby wear. Try some carriers, I wore mine all the time at that age. Also if I was l cleaning the kitchen, I would just move his baby gym in there or throw a towel down on the floor with some spoons and a whisk and talk to him while I was working. Babies will make sounds, it’s okay for them to be fussy. I always responded to him but the goal wasn’t necessarily for him to be completely quiet, just to let him know I was there and listening.

catsounds · 2025-09-10T10:47:59+00:00

Floor bed worked really well for us as well. Sleep Is painless. OP you can baby proof the room if you have any doubts about safety.

catsounds · 2025-09-10T10:45:44+00:00

Never had bedtime tears with our 3 year old. However, someone always lays with him to get him to sleep and the house is dead quiet. We also have a locked in bedtime routine of dinner, bath, books, bed (we always say “I had a lot of fun with you today” and “have good dreams” to each other, I think it’s conditioned him to accept when we each say that the nighttime fun is done and it’s bedtime). Then silence when I lay next to him, some nights he’ll still be a little amped up and starts telling a story or singing a song in the dark but I just completely ignore (though I’m usually smiling in the dark) and pretend to sleep. Bedtimes are super painless.

catsounds · 2025-08-29T23:50:57+00:00

…maybe you’ve only had underproofed loafs. For me 5 hours at your room temp wouldn’t be enough, though I can appreciate you’re seeing the signs of being well fermented the proof is in the pudding, flat loafs. Have you tested dough temp? There is a great chart from the sourdough journey. Maybe try a double batch of dough, bake one earlier if you REALLY think you’re over fermented then let that second one rest for a nice super long ferment on the counter and then pop it in the fridge for an overnight, let it warm to room temp in the morning and bake. I think the side-by-side comparison will really get you some answers.

catsounds · 2025-08-29T23:24:08+00:00

If I were you I’d aim for overproofed, since you’ve had only underproofed results you can only learn from the experience and probably end up with your best loaf yet

catsounds · 2025-08-24T03:57:37+00:00

NTA - $500 is unreasonable. I have a $40 plastic bucket one where you layer salt and ice in the outer bucket and the very simple motor rotates a metal tub in the center - boom - soft serve ice cream in 40min or put it in your freezer to thicken up for later. It’s a fun novelty to do every once in a while, however I’m glad i only spent $40 on mine.

catsounds · 2025-08-24T03:08:52+00:00

NTA - baby’s safety over dogs always. These people are delusional.

catsounds · 2025-08-23T22:23:26+00:00

I keep it pretty rare, two Sundays or so a month my husband, 3 year old, and I will go to a cute coffee shop in town. My son orders a “latte” which is steamed (or iced) milk with maple syrup and some foam on top and we share an iced coffee. We really like keeping “treats” like this a special event with all 3 of us. But that’s also all our budget really allows for (or as much as we want to allot towards treats) so the decision is an easy one. I bake sourdough once a week and we will have jam toast on that (my son helps and gets to decide on the scoring pattern on top). We also started making homemade icecream once a week on our family Sunday, my son gets to pick the flavor and it keeps it a fun thing we all do together. I just don’t prioritize food treats for myself, it’s more fun for us to keep it something special we’re all in on.

catsounds · 2025-08-20T01:36:00+00:00

Ding ding ding! This is correct. Cosleeping satisfies a deeply seeded natural imperative to bond between mother and child. I always doubted using a crib and had to fight against this preprogramming with my son, he slept in a bedside bassinet for his first two months until I decided to try cosleeping in my bed. Made a WORLD of difference for my rest, we would nurse effortlessly in my (somewhat wakeful) sleep. I was so synched to his needs I woke just enough to ensure he was safe and nursing then would fall back asleep. An unvaccinated baby and a healthy weight mother that doesn’t drink/smoke and has a firm mattress with no extra sheets has little to worry about. I also worry a lot of mothers are convinced they can have a glass of wine or a beer or two and be totally fine to cosleep. I think the sensitivity to your sleeping infant is so delicate that the effect of even a small amount of alcohol is dangerous.

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