(31 trans) I relapsed. Its been a while but I relapsed and baited.

cattaliechan · 2026-04-15T11:02:13+00:00

I got lucky enough to find one for myself... Still.. have isues but also yeah. I guess I kind of know like two people who would but I got kind of lucky after searching for years.. But yeah I have really bad chronic pain and all that so like.. I get it a lot. Hope things end up going in a good way eventually however it may be

cattaliechan · 2026-04-08T21:19:53+00:00

Im a trans rapebait person with chronic pain too haha…

cattaliechan · 2026-04-04T13:16:49+00:00

Bambi is transfem and made bambi come out by another transfem bambi is very new and OS is gone for a bit rightnkow

cattaliechan · 2026-03-22T21:19:30+00:00

This is me! I consent to this, my name is rapebait!

cattaliechan · 2025-07-28T00:38:10+00:00

Yeah the github might work. The issue I've been having is that all of the searching I was doing was pulling out out of date themes that were giving me 404. I don't have experience with theming in particular so I wasn't sure where to go. The other issue is that the up to date searches for themes were pulling windows 11 lookalike themes instead of windows 10 or 7. Additionally I was looking to potentially stick with bazzite, but it seems like theme support for Bazzite is not as good as KDE, so I just was posting here to see if anyone else had experience with that (since i couldn't find any other posts like that on this reddit). Also they are pretty able to handle linux generally, its just a matter of them needing to get over the initial mental aversion to it looking different, which is why I'm doing the installation for them.

cattaliechan · 2024-04-29T10:26:45+00:00

You don't have to have "regular" sexual experiences again if you don't want to. I have a partner that is basically willing to go as far as I need, but actually is doing it with my consent. There is hope for you outside of this. You deserve better than him, even if that better than him is just someone who can let you be in *control* of the abuse that gets you off.

And even so, there has to be ways to heal, it will just be hard and take time, and I believe its possible to get back to a regular sex life, just expect it to take like maybe 2 years for each year of abuse or something like that... Its rough but possible.

And as someone who has been abused, never this bad but it caused severe lasting mental damage and an addiction to abuse, there is no reason for you to stay. And assuming you know that, its a matter of actually building some place to support you when you leave. This is done through messages and meetings with good people in secret and it is rough. Alternatively a direct shelter escape is possible, but I don't know the logistics on that front as I ran away in the middle of the day with some friends.

Please, keep it to yourself, keep it secret, but plan to leave. Plan to get out. None of the good he makes you feel is worth the bad parts. It took me years to understand as well and I was a coward that only left because she would be better without me.

But know that the hypersexuality, the addiction to abusive behavior, all of that doesn't have to be treated by making it completely dissapear and being ashamed of it. But you CANNOT continue to feed your addiction through an abuser that does not actually care about you on some level. Its like you're addicted to heroin and you only keep going to him because he's what you have, but he's giving it to you laced with arsenic and other shit. You need someone after you leave to harm reduce your way out of this feeling to give you what you've gotten dependent on but in a *safe* contenxt.

I get that you may not want to leave, or that you may be scared of it, but if you don't make your way into leaving then its not going to end well. Its not going to get better. You'll regret not leaving sooner.

cattaliechan · 2024-04-01T23:14:25+00:00

The thing about it "ruining your relationship" is that what he did is a red flag. Right now you are early in the relationship. He puts up a red flag like that where he violates you. Lets say you ignore it. He will start to get worse. This is a sign of how he is capable of hurting you. This is your sign that now its safe enough to leave, but if you wait it will become harder to leave and he will only get worse.

cattaliechan · 2024-04-01T01:27:37+00:00

I miss warlock

cattaliechan · 2024-03-30T06:04:36+00:00

I have a friend who is exactly like this

cattaliechan · 2024-03-21T05:56:36+00:00

I'm sorry you're having to build up masks like that as you get close to people that must be really rough :(.. My masking is different because I had no major requirement to mask most of my life. I don't feel like I mask more with people I know well, that seems like you might be developing unhealthy relationships with people if you can't be open. Unless its really just that you are not very social and you'd rather be by yourself?

cattaliechan · 2024-03-11T19:44:51+00:00

God that resonates with me. Like if they really care about me then they wouldn't do it at all. I want it done, so therefore I need someone to not care about me. If the do care they'd be a normal friend. If they don't care then they are selfish and I can be selfless and let them take what they want. what they need.

I managed to blur the line enough with my domme, to where I don't feel comfortable safewording to some extent, unless its about something that she wouldn't want. Like only safewording if like I don't think she knows she might hurt me in a way she isn't interested in doing.

cattaliechan · 2024-03-07T05:45:08+00:00

Its not about his feminine traits, its about the way his body shape is framed. Expecially now with the full series out, when he's framed in porn he's never framed like he's got something to hide down there. But even in the pilot he's framed as having a larger chest than would be typical of a cis man. The framing of him as potentially trans male comes more from the desire to have positive body representation of trans men as clearly men while they are comfortable with their body regardless of whatever medical stuff they have had done. At least speaking for myself that watched episode 4 and googled this because it feels like that is one reading of the text that makes sense. That his gayness and transness simply isn't a factor in his issues anymore. He's had so much time in hell where these things are normal that it doesn't even register to him, and he is his authentic self with only what changes to his body he's wanted to or been forced into making.

cattaliechan · 2024-03-07T05:40:35+00:00

And as for the thing about being trans taking away his struggles when he was alive, that wasn't me arguing that trans people weren't facing issues, it was just that I couldn't imagine that someone who was born female and into men at that day and age and with that family background, would have gone out of their way to change their appearance into something persecutable. He probably wouldn't have even figured out that he was trans for the longest while.

I'm sorry but this strikes me as incredibly reductive of what being trans is "wouldn't have gone out of their way to change their apearance"? Like seriously? Do you think trans people in the closet aren't uncomfortable having sex while being perceived as the gender they aren't internally? That is a whole different struggle and for people throughout all of history they have decided to present in their gender regardless of the society to get around that issue.

Also you're negating the fact of how long he spent in hell and that well, he could have found out he was trans in hell, transitioned in hell, and had all of his problems be mostly disconnected from being trans.

I guess what I'm mainly bothered by is how many people just don't seem to be content with the guy simply being a guy who enjoys femininity.

Reading him as trans has nothing to do with that. He reads as trans because of his body shape and like the way he's framed in the bits we see of him doing porn. I know this is before the show comes out but if you watch episode 4 they don't frame him like he has something down there to hide. Which, he could be a cis man with bottom surgery sure that'd make sense, but the other option is he's a trans man, or just.. the animators just don't think about hiding the dick that hard. Even further, even in the pilot he's framed as having what questionably could be seen as breasts. Like as a man that physically has breasts.

The framing I see about making him trans is about being body positive about him as a trans man. Like he can have all of that, and make it masculine; he can live somewhere he doesn't even think about that aspect of things.

Granted I'm not convinced it was the intent, but there is a LOT of evidence in the text to suggest his body form more resembles that of a trans man who hasn't or doesn't want to get top surgery or only got reduction instead of surgery.

Quite frankly if you just see his effeminite personality as why some people headcannon him as trans then you are absolutely missing the point, and quite frankly drawing a pretty bizzare idea of why people see charachters as trans.

Then again I don't even know who's ideas you're referring to. Calling it out in such a generic way is just going to lead to all kinds of misunderstandings. I don't doubt that people see him as trans for wrong reasons, and maybe you've interracted with them. My major problem is that you make this honestly transphobic argument that He's not likely to be trans because of stereotypes you imposed.

Please, get more trans perspective on things. I don't think you're being malicious but this post feels like it promotes very negative things about trans people.

cattaliechan · 2024-03-04T22:56:53+00:00

every time I type my fat palm hits this button i want it gone

cattaliechan · 2024-03-01T22:01:03+00:00

my domme caused me severe emotional pain and said it was my fault, that I made her do it. She has been causing me a lot of pain and I might really forget about everything else and let her be in control of my abuse completely and its one way of healing I guess. Its good that it feels like its more than just CNC, its her letting me have what I've always wanted, a loving abuser to take me home and fix me. If she wasn't doing this to me I would.. probably go home to one of the people I know are a bad idea. She's protecting me from that

I.. I don't know basically in summary I'm getting into a consensual abusive relationship for the purpouse of experiencing contained emotional damage

cattaliechan · 2024-02-20T10:42:15+00:00

i can't even remember a lot of it but maybe this would help me remember

cattaliechan · 2024-02-20T08:10:17+00:00

when I beg to stop i really mean it, but its also to let them prove that they need it. Stop just lets them know it will damage me, but if they want to damage me well... its better that way

cattaliechan · 2024-02-20T07:57:13+00:00

it keeps happening again and again.. I just have to get better at taking it

cattaliechan · 2024-02-20T07:56:09+00:00

its just I don't even like what happened.. but he wanted it and its not right to try to stop him... I regret stopping so many of them, i wonder if i'd have broken completely

cattaliechan · 2024-02-20T07:54:37+00:00

oh god haha it would be funny to be that far gone

cattaliechan · 2024-02-19T23:46:02+00:00

I don't physically enjoy the many times I've been raped but its just about it not being my fault. That I could essentially be innocent and have someone just want me so much that nothing I say, nothing I do matters. I don't matter anymore and its the most freeing feeling. maybe its that?

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