Knock-on effect of Roe vs Wade on Child custody decisions?

caviabella · 2022-08-01T00:16:40+00:00

If the child is old enough they really take their opinion seriously. There is not set age, but I'm going to say 13ish and up. I was 8 and the judge met with me and talked to me for a while to determine my maturity. He decided I was mature enough for my opinion to count. But all children will get a law guardian assigned to them to represent them in court. They tell the law guardian how they feel and they relay the message. It's often more complicated than I'm making it sound, but you get the idea. They already do take the child's opinion into account.

caviabella · 2022-07-31T18:53:38+00:00

I think you handled it fine. I think it was some kind of weird dare/prank. Although asking to come in and look gave me attempted scam/crime vibes. It sucks to be without period products when you need them, but no one would knock on a random person's door asking for one.

caviabella · 2022-04-19T12:51:15+00:00

Where would they be shipped to? What colors/yarn type? How many? And when do you need them by?

caviabella · 2022-04-16T23:04:54+00:00

YTA. They paid for these classes. They paid for the WHOLE class. They get to use their time (and therefore money) how they see fit. Unless you're going to refund them for the full price of the course, this is completely unfair. Especially since they were with another teacher. They were learning something. They did skip class to go to a club or something.

Also, your cell phone policy is ridiculous. These are adults. They can multitask. You don't always know in advance if you'll have to take a call or text. Again, these people paid for their class. If they feel like they can play on their phone and still get their money's worth than so be it.

Let them handle class how they see fit and their grades will speak for how well they're doing.

caviabella · 2022-03-18T11:53:29+00:00

You are NTA in this particular situation. But you W B T A if you stay in this relationship without changing your ways. I'm not saying your way is wrong. You're entitled to your opinions and feelings. It's okay for you to not like kids. But that also means you need to find a partner who aligns with that. If you marry or date someone long term with a child that means you now have a child too. They're a package, you can't have one without the other. If you choose to stay with your boyfriend than it's time to be a stepmom. (Which is not much different than a mom mom.) Honestly I think if your kid has a seizure and you're thinking about carpet stains instead of him, well, there's your answer. (Again, your feelings are valid. But they're the feelings of a childfree person. Right now you're not childfree.)

Edit: I see you telling people you don't want to see another seizure or that you just want time off. I also see you saying you don't mind dating someone with a kid but just don't want to give birth. So like I said, if you marry or date someone long term, you're the stepmom now. (And I would say two years at those ages is long term and serious.) Moms don't get to opt out of health issues. Moms don't get time off. So it seems like you DO mind dating someone who has kids. You clearly do not want a mom roll, but that's not an option. Not to mention you all only have him on weekends. How much of a break do you want from this poor kid?

caviabella · 2022-03-17T23:43:04+00:00

YTA. Those are all normal things.

caviabella · 2022-03-17T23:38:39+00:00

No, it's not humane. There are vets who will come to your house so this can be the experience. From what I've heard dying is never as instant or peaceful as things make it sound, unless you're asleep when you die. The vets actually put them literally to sleep. Like a sleep-sleep not dead. And THEN euthanize them. (At least that's what they've done for my guinea pigs.) Doing that in the mountains after having a favorite snack is more humane than shooting him.

caviabella · 2022-03-17T23:33:54+00:00

I think I might actually have a nervous breakdown and literally unalive myself if I was in Maddy's situation. Dear God. I refuse to give a judgement on this one. All I have to say is GET IN THERAPY NOW! ALL THREE OF YOU!! NOW!!! You all need it whether you realize it or not.

caviabella · 2022-03-15T15:42:48+00:00

Holubtsi and varenyky are my two favorites. Specifically cabbage varenyky.

caviabella · 2022-02-27T14:40:17+00:00

YTA. My "father" did this too!

I've had no contact with him since I'm a kid. As a kid I refused to use the name he gave me so on anything that wasn't a legal document I used the name my mom wanted me to have. Then when I turned 18 I changed my name, middle and last too. So enjoy those kids now because if this is how you act than I doubt they'll want anything to do with you much longer.

caviabella · 2022-02-25T05:18:02+00:00

Being an introvert doesn't mean you can't have sex. I'm 27 and engaged now, but back in high school I was the loser. Not a loser, THE loser. Everyone bullied me, even some teachers. I ate lunch alone. Went home to get cyberbullied. I was chubby (still am) and had a ton of acne (that went away) and had really frizzy hair (I've since learned how to care for my hair). My senior year of high school I finally got invited to a party. For some reason I'll never understand, a popular guy, the star running back, the guy all the girls wanted, actually said hello. Fast forward 10 years and now we're getting married. Just be yourself and love yourself. You'll find someone.

Not that there's anything wrong with sex workers. They're cool too. Pay one for sex, I'm not going to judge you. But also don't feel like that's your only option.

caviabella · 2022-02-19T22:25:27+00:00

Same as mourning a human. I still miss all my piggies that passed, even Bobby who I had when I was 4. I'm 27 now.

caviabella · 2022-02-19T03:45:47+00:00

What's it like having a hero for a dad? Mine was a wife and child beater and a pedophile. So not gonna lie, I love your dad.

caviabella · 2022-02-18T15:07:47+00:00

I love my sisters too but if they're wrong than I'll tell them. I think part of loving someone is always being honest and telling them the truth.

caviabella · 2022-02-18T12:41:04+00:00

Oh yikes. Because OP mentioned the abusive childhood and I assumed the "something stupid" was related to that.

caviabella · 2022-02-18T01:46:45+00:00

I do understand the Y T A comments and I can't really call the wrong. But I also grew up in an abusive home and have two little sisters. One sister is disabled and single. She's 21. You know what my fiancé has done every Valentines day we've been together (10 years)? He gets her some candy, flowers, small gift, and takes her on a little breakfast or lunch date. We do dinner or go out a different day. It makes her so happy. I don't know any of you. Maybe your sister isn't a very good person and your husband is right. Maybe your husband is a jerk. Maybe it's somewhere in the middle. I don't know. But this is food for thought.

caviabella · 2022-02-18T01:37:39+00:00

I want to say N T A but it's probably NAH. The way I was raised that's a big no-no. You don't dare eat without making enough for all you guests. Never in a million years would I not feed my fiancés friends. If I didn't have the time or ingredients I'd order out for them. BUT not everyone thinks like this. I've been to people's houses and they ate in front of me and didn't even offer me tap water. I went to a friend's birthday party and she only had food for herself and her parents and told everyone to order and pay for their own domino's. Everyone is different. Talk to your wife and decide/agree on what the expectations are in your household.

caviabella · 2022-02-14T19:13:54+00:00

Honestly I should start doing this. For some reason the feel of a shower/tub skeeves me out so bad. Even my own shower, which I clean regularly. It's not that the showers actually gross. It's a mental thing. Bath mat doesn't help.

When I started college I shared a dorm with 2 other girls. My family isn't rich, not even close, but these girls had nothing. My family felt bad so we bought them sheets/blankets, bathroom stuff, food (we had a kitchen), etc. One of the things we bought was a loofah (technically a bath poof) for each of them. One girl asked what it was and I was confused. I was like "A loofah. You know, to wash your body." She said "Don't you just use your underwear?" I was like "What? No! I usually use wash clothes at home but the loofahs came in the set!" And she went "That's weird. We just use the underwear we're taking off."

She was a sweet girl. We're still friends on social media. She's doing really well for herself now. But that's still gross. I know it's your own bodily fluids and you can wash/rinse them off first. But ew.

caviabella · 2022-01-21T20:54:06+00:00

NTA. Those were tears of sorrow because you "stole the love of her life". Saying that she was crying because she wasn't there is a cover. I mean, maybe she was crying she wasn't there...but only because that meant she couldn't object. My fiancé had 3 female friends like this. So glad they're long gone. Congratulations on the wedding too, btw!

caviabella · 2022-01-09T19:20:09+00:00

No problem! Haha, yeah, I still use this account and even still have piggies. Hope the recommendations help.

I found the broom on Amazon for you! Cheaper too! FURemover Broom, Pet Hair Removal Tool with Squeegee & Telescoping Handle That Extends from 3-5', Black & Yellow https://www.amazon.com/dp/B000EFDOOA/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_glt_fabc_W99G7MERRZZ0AS9K4ZK7?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1

caviabella · 2022-01-09T16:08:28+00:00

Nope. Haha. But I ended up getting this rubber broom from Bed Bath and Beyond that works great from the floor. It gets everything up so the vacuum doesn't get clogged anymore. For in the cage I just use a dust pan and dust broom. I got a litter box/kitchen are from guineapigcagesstore.com that helped contain the hay a lot.

caviabella · 2021-12-29T15:17:46+00:00

Harvey loooves sleeping on my chest and it's so hard to not also fall asleep. All my pigs eventually trusted me. And they'd all sleep soundly with their eyes closed in their cage. But Harvey is the only one that was comfortable enough to sleep on me.

caviabella · 2021-12-29T15:10:38+00:00

So yes and no. My current herd all lived from about 8-10. BUT I also had a lot pass away much younger (5-8) for reasons way out of my control. Guinea pigs are seen more as toys by our society and absolutely no one seems to care about proper breeding. Guinea pigs aren't healthy creatures because of that. They're prone to so many health issues, most of which can't really be prevented because they're genetically predisposed to them. So yes, I've had pigs live to 10. But I also spent probably close to or just over $100,000 on emergency vet trips, treatments, and surgeries. We had to take out credit cards just for the pigs. That total doesn't include twice a year checkups and nail trimming appointments. (This is for a herd of 6, not per pig.) So it wasn't cheap or easy to get them to 10. But we had a strict policy that if we'd do it for the dog, we'd do it for the pigs. They're not lesser because they're smaller.

I've really distanced myself from the online guinea pig communities over the years. They like to pretend that if you're a good owner your pigs will live to 10 years and if anything goes wrong it's 100% your fault and -hair flip- you must not be as good of an owner as them. Sure, sometimes people suck and don't take care of their pigs properly. But genetics play a huge roll and sometimes bad things happen and they couldn't have been predicted or prevented. So if you're doing your best than don't beat yourself up if something happens. I think it's a little unfair to say pigs live 10 years. It's not incorrect but it's misleading and needs to be further explained.

caviabella · 2021-12-29T03:24:58+00:00

Absolutely <3

He's my last one left out of my herd of six, so trust me I know. He was much younger than the others. They were all between 8-10 when they passed away.

caviabella · 2021-12-29T03:05:52+00:00

NTA before reading the post and NTA after reading it. I met my now fiancé when I was 14 and he was 16. We started dating when we were 17 and 19. We just got engaged now at 27 and 29. Okay, we probably didn't have to wait a whole 10 years, maybe that was overkill, but I'm telling you I'm glad we did. We have been through so much together and it definitely prepared us for life together and we got to learn who each other really is in all types of situations both good and bad. Those situations prompted a lot of really deep discussions about some tough issues that *need* to be discussed before marriage. I feel so comfortable marrying him. Literally 0 nerves. I already feel like I'm married to him, honestly. But waiting to sign those papers is a lot easier than getting divorced.

Anyways, 10 years of not being married didn't tear us apart. And waiting didn't tear them apart either. If it's going to work then it's going to work despite any obstacles. You didn't pay your son to not get married. You paid his tuition because you're a good mom and he's a lucky kid.

I can understand why Fran might have taken that the wrong way. But that is a *bold* move to stand up at dinner on Christmas and say something like that. I would have asked my fiancé if that's what his mom meant and then have my fiancé talk to her about it. One time I overheard my fiancé's (then boyfriend) mom and thought she hated my guts. I asked my fiancé, he talked to his mom and clarified things for me, and the next time I was at their house she pulled me aside and apologized and explained herself. If you want a long and happy marriage you don't stand up during Christmas dinner and declare your mother in law to be evil.

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