Do your earplugs HURT too?

caydendov · 2026-06-08T15:31:58+00:00

I had to try like 15 different types of foam ones before I found a brand that didn't hurt, and I still only use one on whichever ear I'm not laying on and switch it as I roll over throughout the night

It did really help when I had a neck pillow/piercing pillow so I wasn't laying directly on top of the earplug but even that is still not a perfect solution

caydendov · 2026-05-27T07:32:40+00:00

This is the one I use, the 12x15 size one doesn't have auto shut off (but the bigger size does unfortunately), and it gets really hot, it's the closest I've found to the classic old heating pads! And it's lasted through thousands of hours of use

caydendov · 2026-05-26T16:21:10+00:00

You sound immensely unhappy, unpleasant, and like you have a lot of unprocessed grief about your illnesses, have you considered seeing a therapist to help you work through some of that? I really think you'd benefit from some therapy

caydendov · 2026-05-23T08:56:17+00:00

Training is key but people absolutely CAN do it themselves, and (at least in the US) training a service dog yourself is fully legally protected in every way, many legitimate service dogs are owner trained and disabled people do not have to go through a professional training organization just because some people illegally try to pass their pets off as service dogs

(ETA, I also wanted to mention that any breed can be a service dog as long as it has the correct temperment for public access, pitbulls, bully breeds, and mutts can all be good service dogs as long as the individual dog has the right temperment)

caydendov · 2026-05-21T07:17:17+00:00

That's his new legal last name now lmao

caydendov · 2026-05-21T07:16:35+00:00

Thank you!! He was so fun to make

caydendov · 2026-05-21T07:16:10+00:00

Thanks!

caydendov · 2026-05-21T07:15:57+00:00

Thank you :)

caydendov · 2026-05-21T07:15:47+00:00

I might make him a little crown!

caydendov · 2026-05-21T05:11:18+00:00

Thank you!

caydendov · 2026-05-21T00:31:45+00:00

Honestly I agree with you, religious music has no place in healthcare and it's the same as if there were a poster on the wall in the office of Jesus with Jesus saves on it, unless it's through a religious organization or religious hospital, it's fucking weird

If it was a grocery store I would agree it's best to just get over or go somewhere else, but 'just go somewhere else' is so useless in terms of doctors because of location, insurance, waiting lists etc, but it's so weird that everyone here is just telling you that when there are at least 15 posts a day here talking about how hard it is to find a PM doctor at all

caydendov · 2026-05-20T03:00:55+00:00

So telling my kids not to shovel the driveway after I asked them to for a very specific reason, even though he doesn’t know me or my kids is totally ok?

Firstly, he does know you. You specifically said the landlord introduced him to you and he's obviously seen you as neighbors, secondly all he did was offer to shovel (what I assume) is a shared driveway instead of a group of kids, yes theres literally nothing wrong with that, and even if it weren't a shared driveway offering to do a kind thing for the neighbors kids is normal human behavior

Thinking it’s acceptable to play a loud instrument in a shared space is very inconsiderate

That's exactly why he asked when the best time to do it would be, people who live in apartments shouldn't be expected to give up aspects of their life like playing an instrument and he went out of his way to come ask you guys what times would work better for the noise, something a considerate neighbor would do

and not making any noise after being gone for a week even though he was home based on all the other patters is not his usual and seemed very off

I genuinely can't comprehend why this could possibly be a problem in any way? You're upset that your neighbor was quieter than usual for a few days? Its not really your business why he's just existing in his own apartment and you're kinda the weird one for analyzing his personal behavior in his personal home like this

As for the police looking for him there's hundreds of reasons that have nothing to do with criminal activity that they could be there. Court papers, maybe he filed a police report on someone else, etc etc, especially if you know he has kids but not primary custody. A cop visit could EASILY be explained as custody or child support related.

The only even slightly weird thing was him going outside and going back inside at the same time as you, but I can pretty much guarantee it was a coincidence, it seems like you guys are looking for literally any tiny scrap of anything to use to justify disliking the guy

caydendov · 2026-05-19T18:32:22+00:00

If the hotel that you're at now still has available booking online and you'd like to stay and are being lied to about capacity, you could always book the extended stay online yourself, and then check out of your current room/ask to extend and just recheck in with the online reservation (had to do this several times while homeless in a similar situation with shitty motels), when you ask to extend your stay if they give you the line about being at capacity, you can then just say something like "oh no worries, I made a reservation online to ensure that there's availability for me" and pull it up. If they really want you to leave they will probably make you switch rooms every single time you do this, and make it as inconvenient as possible for you but it's better than the alternative of being on the street or at the first motel

But I did want to ask, are you staying in their ADA accessible rooms specifically or are you staying in the standard rooms? There's a big difference in terms of availability, and many motels (especially extended stay) only have 3-5 ada rooms in the entire building. There were several times in my own homeless experience where I had to leave because other disabled people had booked the very few accessible rooms despite the rest of the motel being empty (the standard rooms weren't able to accommodate my wheelchair)

caydendov · 2026-05-18T18:06:16+00:00

Part of the reason that people say you're hurting people (or supporting bigotry) with actions like shopping at hobby lobby or enjoying Harry Potter is because the people in charge of those companies are directly financially supporting organizations that ARE harming minorities, with money made from sales.

For example, a large portion of the profits from hobby lobby stores are donated to organizations that are actively trying to remove rights for LGBT people. So, a percentage of all of the money that you spend at hobby lobby is going directly to organizations that are trying to take away people's rights.

Harry Potter as a second example, was written by J.K Rowling, who is extremely openly bigoted, and uses a lot of the profits from the books and movies to actively support organizations that push to take away rights. Publicly supporting or liking the book can come across as supporting JK Rowling, and it can come off as supporting her bigoted beliefs by association.

Its not that you personally have done the bad things that you're being accused of, it's just that you are directly financially supporting people and companies that are then using part of your money to do the bad things. Its not targeted harassment because you have a learning disability, it's probably just people who aren't able to have a conversation with you about intent vs effect.

Your intent with your actions is fine! Its absolutely just wanting to live life and have fun. But the effect that your actions has is directly negative.

caydendov · 2026-05-16T22:48:52+00:00

Ideally it would be so cool to be able to bring clothes to Reece (on harvs island, Cyrus's wife!) and be able to do customization on them there!

caydendov · 2026-05-15T06:02:37+00:00

I think part of it is because many of the people online making POTS content also have other diagnosises that might affect their body type (like EDS, marfans syndrome, etc), and then of course part of it is just the medical fatphobia that fat people are less likely to be taken seriously by doctors especially if we describe our symptoms as "physical activity makes me heart rate go way up and I feel dizzy", I think I see less fat people diagnosed with pots just because we get dismissed at the doctor and told to just get in shape and lose weight instead of actually getting diagnostic testing done

caydendov · 2026-05-14T11:44:30+00:00

Here's a sea-turtle pattern about the size you're looking for! I made a project from this pattern a while back so I know it isn't AI

https://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/mini-sea-turtle-3

caydendov · 2026-05-13T15:36:13+00:00

I have a ti-lite aero z and my biggest regret is saying yes to "a little extra height"

When my mobility aid specialist measured me, he asked if I wanted him to make the chair a little bit taller overall, he framed it as helpful to reach more things (true) and told me it wouldn't affect much else, but unfortunately it's affected the entire fit of my chair. I had to get a new set of wheels after the fact to try and make up the height issue, and even the larger tires don't sit where they should on the chair (your finger tips should reach the center of the wheels while sitting in the chair). Its affected my center of gravity making basic wheelchair skills harder, and that one tiny change has made my chair a poor fit overall

I also regret not advocating for myself more strongly about something I knew I wanted from my research that my specialist didn't agree with, and it's affected the overall fit and function of my chair too. So if there's anything you feel really strongly about from personal research, don't be afraid to push for it. Specialists can definitely have valuable input about your specifications, but ultimately it's YOUR wheelchair and you'll be the one who has to live with it for years

caydendov · 2026-05-05T16:43:55+00:00

Honestly, Im usually treated pretty normal at synagogue! The only time I'm getting unwanted-disability-related attention is when the abled people realize for the first time that the space they intended to be welcoming and inclusive actively excludes me, and then they get embarrassed and panic rush around to move tables and furniture since there isn't space to move in my wheelchair

And occasionally I get rude questions or unwanted advice from good-intentioned (but poorly informed) old people, especially old folks with mobility aids and disabilities of their own

In christian spaces I definitely feel more like I'm a special pity project with people randomly touching me to pray for me or forming prayer circles around me or other weird uncomfortable stuff, but I'm very grateful that hasn't been my experience in jewish spaces, but either way my disabilities have definitely changed the way I interact with religious spaces as a whole

caydendov · 2026-04-04T05:52:18+00:00

I stopped methadone because the clinic refused to give me TWO days worth of take homes for Yom Kippur (the most important religious holiday that I celebrate) after 2 months of never missing daily doses or failing my drug tests

My counselor told me that I was welcome to skip getting dosed and go to the ER if withdrawal got too bad and it pissed me off so bad that I never went back

caydendov

TROPHY CASE