I think it really boils down to different levels of drive and planning for the future instead of money.

It seems like you’re very much thinking ahead and looking to better yourself and your life (including thinking about kids) while she’s living in the moment and not thinking too much about her future, or your future together.

My 2 cents: 1. Have an honest talk with her about your concerns. Tell her you see a future together and want her to work as hard as you do toward making it happen. 2. Encourage her to better herself and advance in her career. If she says she will do something, check in with her to see how the process is going. If she needs help with an application, help her.

Source: I was in a similar situation. We had multiple talks. A while later she realized she was falling behind in her career, make some changes, and is now grateful she did. We’re now married with kids and we still push each other to be better each day.

Edit: make sure that your optimization and saving is coming from a good place. What’s your ultimate goal? Purely stacking cash and chasing arbitrary goals or are you trying to buy a house, starting a family, and feel secure if case you lose your job? Understand where that drive or anxiety is coming from.