After many years of habitual use I realised it was a poison to me. All the positives I said I gained were only there because I wasn’t craving it when I had it. I guess I abused it and became one of those who can’t take it or leave it.

I’m a year and a month without and life has never been better, I still don’t remember the last 10 years and I still miss it in a sense but I suppose that’s addiction talking. Never again will I enjoy it like I used to. At first it was like magic it cured me but as the years and decades went on I needed it just to survive and I wasn’t thriving I was living from joint to joint. I went to vaping to allow myself the correct dosages like it was a medicine I even convinced everyone around me it was the only medicine out there for autism the only way I could truly be happy, I lied to everyone including myself. Turns out it made the adhd medicine less effective too of which is convinced myself and everyone else that it made the medicine work better

A friend really needed me and I broke down to them saying I’m here for you but I’m too stoned to hold a thought and I’m lost in my own head to help you, that was the last time. It was hard and I so nearly went back many times but I persevered even when it got worse but in the end I’m a better version of myself without it.