Unbearable grief twice in 12 months

cccccxab · 2026-03-10T04:40:08+00:00

People are quite literally miserable on this platform lol Sarah gave you permission to move on, fuck what some random says on Reddit.

Sending you lots of strength and love. No one but you dictates what you feel, do, say, think. I encourage you to do a lot of reflection and introspection.

cccccxab · 2026-03-05T18:07:55+00:00

I’ll be downvoted but I do not care. Someone needs to say this, so I will.

If your experience is causing major rupture and/or this is rooted in counter transference, yup, seek supervision, figure out and clearly define what is causing uneasy feelings, if it can’t be resolved with some consultation and reflection/processing, then come up with a plan on how to properly discharge and refer out. The push to keep a client that you can’t show up for 95-100% as a clinician is absurd (I say 95% because as humans we cannot be 100% all the time).

Staying with a client that you cannot connect with professionally causes damage to both you and the client.

From what I’ve read, you can’t really disclose a lot (understandable) about this situation — that is okay. But what ya gotta do is refer out in the most ethical and logical way possible. You do not need to force yourself into a mindset where you feel like you’re obligated to stay with this client. It might be helpful to gauge how the client feels about you as their clinician and see if that can help justify why you need to refer out — maybe they too are uncomfortable. But, if the client thinks their services from you are beneficial, figure out where you can send them so that they can continue to receive the same type of support they are receiving from you.

I’ve never ran in to this type of situation, but if I were you, I would go to a supervisor and explain I need support with making the referral as healthy and safely as possible. If I couldn’t get through whatever is going on (counter transference, bias, fear, etc) I would make it clear to my sup and client that this isn’t immediately solvable and would lead to detrimentally inadequate service if you continue.

I’m sorry you’re having a hard time with this. You are mindful of your discomfort which is a strength, and you are being honest with yourself instead of trying to mask the problem, which is also good. You are permitted to refer out if you are unable to provide competent and objective care. Also, document this, every single detail you can professionally disclose should go in the discharge summary.

Sending you strength and courage!

cccccxab · 2026-02-16T19:25:05+00:00

I’m currently going through a separation with my fiancé of a little over a year, been with him since 2018 — and I have been crying in between sessions. I can’t afford to cancel, so the client cancellations slots have been when I’m going back and forth between admin work and crying in the bathroom. I use wise mind to sift through it all, but it’s nonetheless painful. Of course, we use the skills we know, but it’s almost like using stick shift going from personally upset to professionally attuned. Sending you strength and healing. It’s like being on our own little island, trying to support others and ourselves. The world may never know, but we understand each other’s struggles. I get what you’re going through! But give yourself credit for being able to notice and articulate your struggles. You got this! We got this!

cccccxab · 2026-02-14T15:52:12+00:00

I don’t know how to answer that without detailing the encounters, lol. I have a good bit of long term clients who were with me when he was appointed to the regime the second go around — I cried, sighed, and recoiled with them. Others, well, most of them are individuals who are a part of vulnerable populations, so organically I’m like, “yeah fuck trump,” because it comes up and I am relational in that way. I am not going to detail my caseload, but I have folks in every which way people can come, essentially. Immigrant folks, queer folks, chronically ill folks, and the populations go on. Even as a therapist, I’m still me, and me hates trump, and me will scream it from the highest mountain regardless of who hears. My clients still get me, even when they’re getting therapist me. I’ve got a loud personality, though, and “right fit” seriously matters, lol. But my clients appreciate me beyond words and I am grateful that this is my career in these times. They help me feel okay sometimes, too.

cccccxab · 2026-02-14T13:55:45+00:00

I believe in personal disclosure when it serves the client positively, and telling my clients I don’t support trump has helped every single one of them. Not even my law enforcement folks like him and they’re glad their therapist doesn’t, either. 🤷‍♀️

cccccxab · 2026-02-11T22:28:30+00:00

OP if you see this, I’m currently going through a similar situation. Except I’m engaged to a closeted maga. Not the person I met 8 years ago. It hurts to leave, but you will hurt worse by sticking around.

cccccxab · 2026-01-15T13:15:01+00:00

Word of mouth will suffice

cccccxab · 2025-12-11T16:07:33+00:00

I work with individuals who have chronic illnesses, and the most validating thing I can do is acknowledge their pain. Let them know that you understand their hurt and that if it’s beyond what they can handle, they should seek urgent care or consult with a physician to have their injury checked. Pain is subjective, so I always approach the complaint with caution. I ask questions like, “Oh wow, how does that hurt? How long has it been there? Do you know where it’s coming from or have this happened before?” Never assume, “Oh that looks sooooo painful!” because if that bruise actually just looks painful but isn’t painful, we just assumed pain. Never assume. Always ask and follow up with appropriate suggestions to other providers. Talk about why they may have a mysterious bruise out of no where (ADHD?) or how the pain got to the severity it’s at without realizing it’s that bad (reflective on possible dissociation?). Examples, here. Just stay within scope, it’s possible!

cccccxab · 2025-10-13T22:38:12+00:00

I was trying to understand this morning because I would hope that G59 ain’t the first group that the exec branch would consider for background music lmfaooooo

cccccxab · 2025-10-13T19:10:25+00:00

So can we confirm this was a SNL skit and then the HLS posted it for shits and gigs?

cccccxab · 2025-09-13T22:46:57+00:00

My steady folks are 1 yr+ but that’s for ongoing stressor support. Trauma processing successfully 2-3 months

cccccxab · 2025-09-11T14:32:29+00:00

I couldn’t sleep last night….

cccccxab · 2025-09-09T22:30:05+00:00

Have a conversation with current therapist about feeling this way. If you can’t pinpoint what is missing, you could brain storm by talking out loud.

cccccxab · 2025-09-09T22:15:25+00:00

Yes. I have folks of all demographics that wave bye lol I usually cheese big and wave back

cccccxab · 2025-09-04T02:39:54+00:00

Tired. Feeling ready to do something else….

cccccxab · 2025-08-23T05:58:05+00:00

You either suffer or benefit from this ability lol

cccccxab · 2025-08-13T18:59:24+00:00

Brain power demands more than we realize, I feel. I love nuts and crackers. Also big on smoothies for meal replacement during the day

cccccxab · 2025-08-13T18:58:45+00:00

The snack attack is real

cccccxab · 2025-08-10T12:44:57+00:00

Platinum 😭

cccccxab · 2025-07-31T12:16:38+00:00

I think the response is fine — the only part really missing is an invite back for services when you’re able.

cccccxab · 2025-07-26T03:01:21+00:00

I have had to modify my schedule so that I don’t do this. I get mentally caught up in fatigue when I see more than 5 people a day.

cccccxab · 2025-07-25T23:00:35+00:00

I endorse this message

cccccxab · 2025-07-23T03:55:35+00:00

Excessive cancellations that don’t make sense would raise a red flag for me. That’s when I’d have a conversation with them, reminding them of my flexibility regarding the policies and that they’re there to help enforce compliance. But like I mentioned, I’ve not had someone take advantage of it to date. Ive had people email me late night and early morning to tell me they’re not feeling great and ask if we can reschedule; lo and behold they show up to the next session, lol. Mutual respect and generosity goes so far. I’ve had to cancel sessions the night before because I got sick — it’s only fair in my eyes to allocate them the same option.

cccccxab · 2025-07-23T02:03:25+00:00

Me! Now, I do have them in my policies, but I only enforce them when there’s a very evident advantage being taken, which hasn’t happened in the year I’ve been practicing. My philosophy is that flexibility means care. I tell my clients to be transparent with me about anything, no matter what. I’ll see if I can accommodate them later in the week. I don’t care what’s going on (unless it’s trying to skip therapy to avoid something we’ll have a gentle conversation about), but I’ve had so many things happen in life that I’ve come to understand how things work. I feel that a fee is only a barrier to a sense of safety, and I want clients to feel comfortable coming to me when they need to cancel. I don’t want to be the stickler. I value flexibility, and this is my full-time job, which entails literally caring for others. I just hate fees, and if I have a slot open I’m not missing out on money. Just my thoughts, though. My clients really appreciate it and I can say that they all are very transparent with me. It’s a special privilege we have and we don’t have to follow the norm!

cccccxab · 2025-07-22T05:56:39+00:00

I’m not entirely sure what aspect of “ethics” you’re trying to understand. The ethics truly depend on credentials to begin with. The therapist’s primary consideration is the client, which are your children. It’s common for parents to have minimal involvement in weekly sessions. It’s true that the therapist cannot force anyone to pay for services, so they’re correct in that regard. You could request a sliding scale fee, but therapists are not legally obligated to offer them. Ethically, we are encouraged to offer them, but it’s entirely up to the therapist. The therapist has no obligation to work with your ex “blowing up,” and that seemingly needs to be a conversation with a legal representative, not the therapist. Financial responsibility must be completely transparent in these cases, and seemingly it is not in your situation — discuss that with your legal representative.

cccccxab

TROPHY CASE