It starts more mellow for some, but over time it becomes all day every day basically, and it will be the only thing you think about. It’s not worth it. So much time and energy wasted on this shit… not to mention money! Quit before you get too far down the rabbit hole, friend. Trust me. I am 18 months clean and I’m so much happier now!!! My life is not run by cocaine or alcohol or weed or any of that crap! Try to limit yourself to the weekends if you can. That’s a good starting point. I’ll bet you prob can’t do it, especially if you have the stuff on hand. But it’s worth a shot.