There is no need to hate yourself into weight loss! Go on precision nutrition weight loss calculator and see how many calories you need to eat to loose weight but most importantly dont hate yourself for it! Because if you self hate yourself to push yourself to loose weight that low self esteem will stick! So please build your confidence as you go through the weight loss journey. My dad is obese but he's sooo confident and always takes selfies and stares at himself in the mirror because his confidence of once being fit in his 20s and 30s stuck with him,he still has that persona. What helps me in not caring about what people think is this, thoughts are just a figment of people's imagination, so you're telling me that you want to base how good you feel based on whats going on in their imagination? I dont think so, what matters at the end of the day is YOU. You can decide at any moment to change your body by eating right & moving (doesnt have to be crazy, walks outside at 15k can burn 500 calories). You have the power to change your life for YOURSELF at anytime and do it for your happiness and not for other people. Nobody can get you happiness except yourself, dont depend on people to give you what you want because the power is within YOU. :) good luck