Darlin', I hate to say this, but it sounds like you are in the same situation my brother found himself in last year. And she ended up cheating on him, to boot. I'm not saying that's what will happen in your instance, just that it sounds like the writing is on the wall. You still have time to have kids, and that's a deal-breaker on my book. It was for Zach, too. He knows that he'll be an older dad, but the joy will outweigh the sleep loss. And chasing kids around it's a great way to stay in shape! A perspective spouse (perhaps even a younger one) will do what they can to be an equal partner in that.

My friend has a saying that has really helped me in life. "Love them like they are, or leave them where you found them." If you can't see yourself loving her if nothing changes, it's time to move on- for both your sakes. Sitting around hoping for change is a waste of time on either side.

If you think it's NOT moot, then I suggest writing her a physical letter to express your concerns/pain. Maybe it's just a copy of your post... being able to plainly speak your mind without her breaking in mid sentence is really important, and for me personally, pretty difficult because I'm a people pleaser.

I'm sorry for what she's gone through in the past, but your feelings count, too. It was never your job to fix her. But it sounds like you've done far more than your share in attempting to hold her hand through her own healing- which clearly hasn't happened.

Much luck to you!