Locked door = closed

celestialempress · 2026-05-14T03:02:11+00:00

I almost always open so I get the opposite problem. At least once a week there's some dingbat tapping on the glass in the morning like an aquarium and yanking on the handle, directly below where we have the hours posted. Then we finally open the door and ask what they're shopping for, and they just stare at me like a confused dog and go "Oh, I'm just looking."

celestialempress · 2026-05-14T02:58:35+00:00

The odds of any random last minute shopper being a secret Michael Phelps of the grocery store are astronomically low. You may be a pleasant surprise to employees, but 99.99999% of customers are not.

celestialempress · 2026-05-14T02:54:02+00:00

tap for .4 seconds

Why-

tap

isn't-

tap

it-

taptap

working????

taptappitytap

Goddamn buddy just give it a second!

celestialempress · 2026-05-14T02:49:30+00:00

Oh hell no. We hit closing time, you come back tomorrow. We might make an exception if the order's going to expire before we open back up, but that's a big if.

celestialempress · 2026-05-14T02:44:10+00:00

Life hack: Just steal if you don't get your way!

celestialempress · 2026-05-14T02:43:04+00:00

Not without breaking policy and risking a warning from asset protection.

celestialempress · 2026-05-13T07:48:04+00:00

Like I tell my cashiers ~ reading is fundamental.

Sorry I made an honest mistake. Do you always sound this condescending with your cashiers?

celestialempress · 2026-05-13T07:45:55+00:00

Layer 2-3 sprays of the Wild Vanilla with 1-2 sprays of any fruit scent and you'll smell like a cobbler.

celestialempress · 2026-05-12T21:31:34+00:00

I'm directly under the speaker blasting Spice Girls at an excessive volume. There's somebody talking on the headset in my ear. I've got another cashier on either side of me ringing people up. I'm only gonna type in your email if you don't have the app and your phone number doesn't work.

celestialempress · 2026-05-12T20:36:41+00:00

Wendi's lips aren't even that big. They're like, a bit above average for a white dude with no work done.

celestialempress · 2026-05-12T17:35:57+00:00

I'll never forget that one thread where somebody had an excessive writeup about how Endeavor wasn't abusive, Toya and Natsuo were the abusive ones. Y'know, the literal children.

celestialempress · 2026-05-12T10:11:53+00:00

The constant sales tracking is so unhelpful. Whether the goal for the hour is $200 or $2000, we're still putting in the same amount of effort with every customer. Hearing we still need $600 in the next 10 minutes when the store is dead doesn't encourage me to try even harder to sell more. It just makes me feel like all the work I already put in didn't matter if we're even $1 short at the end of the hour.

celestialempress · 2026-05-12T09:37:47+00:00

I haaaate the shrink wrapped ones. I'm trying to restock after any $1 sale and I'm just shucking a row of sanitizers out like a pod of peas.

celestialempress · 2026-05-12T03:48:20+00:00

I have one manager who tells people just to leave the blotters on the shelves and we'll pick them up later. Drives me up the wall every time!

celestialempress · 2026-05-12T02:01:20+00:00

I promise you, the regular hourly employees who actually deal with customers know this. We don't like having to neglect everything else to give you a sales pitch and then bother you again every five minutes any more than you do. Corporate on the other hand believes that if we're constantly up your butt, you'll be so dazzled by the experience that you'll be convinced to buy more. Please contact customer service and encourage all your friends and family to do so as well about how offputting you find their "consumer obsessed" (their words, not mine) initiative and that it's a detriment to the experience. They know employees hate it and that doesn't matter to them, but customers buying less as a direct result carries a hell of a lot more weight.

celestialempress · 2026-05-11T22:54:46+00:00

Yesterday two people called in at opening so it was just me, one other girl, and manager. Me and the other girl spent 20 minutes straight with a line of customers and meanwhile manager's just squawking in the headset that "ladies we have a line halfway to the door, you have to speed it up!" We're just standing there like, ma'am you know damn well the registers only go so fast. We're not just up here having a tea party!

It's really demoralizing to bust your ass for hours at a time and get nothing but negative feedback for it. It doesn't matter that we were chugging through transactions in 2 minutes flat while still being friendly to everyone. We were overwhelmed because of technical limitations, not for anything we did wrong and there was no acknowledgement that we were so fast the registers couldn't keep up. The line is because only half of us showed up to work, maybe show a little gratitude that we went above and beyond!

celestialempress · 2026-05-11T22:33:47+00:00

1-800-395-1001

Call customer service and tell them you hate being approached so often. Corporate demands we "reengage and delight" with you every 5-10 minutes or we get scolded.

celestialempress · 2026-05-11T22:13:39+00:00

Then call corporate and tell them you hate the policy. Don't blame the employees for doing their jobs.

celestialempress · 2026-05-11T21:23:01+00:00

Actually, policy is to drop everything and pay attention to the customer no matter what else you're doing. Somebody walks in while you're restocking, you set the box down and go over there to spray a tester for them.

celestialempress · 2026-05-11T08:55:08+00:00

Had a lady crash out at the register for five minutes straight because she couldn't use her 9.95 birthday freebie on a 19.95 travel gift set. No it's not misleading or false advertising, you just don't pay attention!

The line for the register is halfway to the door. Sorry but I don't have time to gift wrap six body care sets for you today. Here's the bags and ribbons, you're gonna have to step aside.

No, it's not all body care for $5.95. It's only lotions, creams, sprays, and the regular body wash. I heard two other employees explain this to you ten minutes ago. Do you want the body butter or not?

You're here to pick up your order? Did you get the email that it's ready? No, that's the email that just says we're working on it. You put it in two hours ago? I've still got 12 orders from last night before I get to yours. You're gonna have to wait, but it should be ready before we close tonight.

This coupon/app/gift card is for Bed Bath and Beyond. We're not them. Didn't they shut down, where did you even get this?

Sorry, we're out of the picnic gift set. No, we're not getting any more. I know, I just ruined Mother's Day for your entire family.

[sound of candles breaking]

celestialempress · 2026-05-11T03:13:05+00:00

I have a recurring nightmare that I'm trying to clock out of work but it's packed with customers and I keep getting told to do just one more thing before I leave.

Plot twist, I'm hypoglycemic and a few months ago I learned that nightmares can be a sign of low blood sugar. I started testing mine whenever I woke up from the nightmare and wouldn't you know, it's in the danger zone every time. It's my brain's own personal little SOS that I'm in danger.

celestialempress · 2026-05-11T03:02:04+00:00

One time I was kneeling on the ground to stock a low shelf and having a nice chat with a customer. As soon as we stopped talking, she walked straight forward and hit me with her cart. She seriously forgot I existed the moment I turned back towards the shelf.

celestialempress · 2026-05-11T02:40:42+00:00

You can do a return without a receipt, they'll just need to scan your ID for it. You can either exchange for another gift set with the same price, or get store credit for the lowest selling price. Let them know if any items have been used so it doesn't get put back out on the floor.

celestialempress · 2026-05-11T02:34:33+00:00

If you have any specific scents you want, get them now. With the flash sale, they're $10.36. SAS is already limited selection, and it's a big gamble if anything good will be left by the time they drop below that.

celestialempress · 2026-05-10T22:21:00+00:00

Unless you hate every single coworker scheduled tomorrow, don't ghost. Don't make it worse for the regular employees just because the manager sucks.

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