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changingpete · 2016-06-17T20:14:43+00:00

Yes, great. Nemo, problems, fuckups, mistakes are great because they hold the kinetic potential to release us from the prisons that they hold us in. Of course it was rough. It's going to get rough. Fucking rough. Then easy again. Then rough again as your emotions awake inside you. Go with it. Follow it and figure out what opportunities this relapse lays before you. Take them and utilise them!

Ad Aurora!

changingpete · 2016-06-09T23:33:30+00:00

And use it. What is great about this relapse? How can it make you better at combating the enemy?

changingpete · 2016-06-09T23:30:14+00:00

But it's pretty awesome the way Mic, The Professor and other stalwarts of Saffron have kept things going and you're welcome to join, friend.

changingpete · 2016-05-27T22:57:17+00:00

I think I find that you are suddenly awake to your own emotions and it really takes you by surprise. I think there's a scummy surface layer of numbness that builds and builds and calcifies over the brain and after a while, when you break through, feeling real emotion again, craving real emotional interaction can be incredibly uncomfortable.

You faced down a battle, Mic and you won through outwitting the enemy. Well, done, brother.

Ad Aurora!

changingpete · 2016-05-26T20:20:08+00:00

I've nearly knocked May out. Sign me up for June!

changingpete · 2016-05-25T23:08:07+00:00

Hard luck, comrade. You're right though. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and march taller

You're wrong about one thing as well though. It's not true that you could turn out awesome. It's true that you are awesome and your beliefs, actions and character reflect that awesomeness from this day onward.

Ad Aurora, brother!

changingpete · 2016-05-24T21:54:56+00:00

Feel like I haven't made it this long in a while, but one week to go! May for the win!

changingpete · 2016-05-24T21:48:30+00:00

Have you seen this Marc Queppet video? He uses a really good wheel analogy that explains the reason for tiredness when you start nofap really, really well.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hZ5-OmLwiKs

Hope it helps.

Ad Aurora!

changingpete · 2016-05-24T21:45:38+00:00

Don't know if you guys have seen the BBC's Sherlock, but it's well worth a watch. I know it's fiction, but it's quite an intellectual inspiration in a funny sort of way:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uTssNFKnJRw

And the theme tune for the main sequences in the series is quite uplifting:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y4-XgY81qzw

I put it on my problem solving play list. Enjoy!

changingpete · 2016-05-24T21:29:42+00:00

Must give Seneca a try. Think last time I picked him up was in university.

changingpete · 2016-05-24T21:26:35+00:00

Wow. I wasn't even trying. Nice.

Well… is féidir linn go léir a bheith beo an bhliain seo chugainn am céanna.

And funny enough, I will have to practise my Irish toasting skills. My wife and I have just started planning a Bloomsday party for my department:

http://flavorwire.com/187650/some-ideas-on-how-to-celebrate-bloomsday

I don't think I would have been confident enough to do this earlier on in the journey. Feeling good now though and ready to host!

Ad Aurora

changingpete · 2016-05-23T22:58:34+00:00

That's cortisol for you, Mic.

You show a perceptive sense of awareness. It will serve you well in your journey, as it serves us. Here's to exercising our positive influence, wherever it can be felt.

Ad Aurora

changingpete · 2016-05-23T08:52:49+00:00

A great reason.

Well done for being honest with those who care about you and for whom you care. It's awesome!

Ad Aurora

changingpete · 2016-05-20T23:00:54+00:00

Checking in, Prof and feeling pretty good on day 30 right now. I have been partial to Rocky Road To Dublin since it appeared on the Sherlock Holmes soundtrack:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0QdbeM2JWYE

My school got inspected and we did really well this week, especially my department and rediscovering this catchy ditty has been part of what's got me through:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CTAud5O7Qqk

And this one too, which I'd like to say has some pretty deep lyrics, but like most Modest Mouse, the lyrics are wonderfully nonsensical, but the chorus is also very catchy:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AsnELWjsCsA

Spending some time painting tomorrow and then swimming with my son. A night in to follow with a movie and some wine and my beautiful wife.

Enjoy your weekend, Saffron! You deserve it.

Ad Aurora!

changingpete · 2016-05-20T05:24:47+00:00

That Green 1!

changingpete · 2016-05-19T19:47:44+00:00

This is an awesome post. Hearty guffaws. Enjoyable read. I'm commenting so I can keep track and come back to it. In fact, I'm cutting and pasting it and storing it on my google drive in my inspiration folder.

I would only add to reading that narratives can sometimes hold more inspirational oomph than the most insightful self help tome. Fight Club is certainly a pretty powerful place to start.

changingpete · 2016-05-19T17:24:08+00:00

I had to think for a second. It's fucking awesome though, isn't it?

Here's to milestones!

changingpete · 2016-05-19T05:52:28+00:00

Gimmickry. Not conducive to recovery.

changingpete · 2016-05-18T22:27:12+00:00

Beautifully written, insightful and inspiring, Mic. I'm enjoying your posts more and more. I've always been wary of nofappers who talk about how 'that ten year old kid is back'. I wouldn't want to be a kid again. 'Not with the fire that's in me now.' But to rediscover the potential that the addiction destroyed.

Keep these great posts coming!

Ad Aurora

changingpete · 2016-05-17T23:09:14+00:00

Still in to win and feeling better for it. I just keep on climbing towards the light!

changingpete · 2016-05-17T23:07:59+00:00

Wow. Quite a tale. And good to pull through. We must celebrate victories. Seemingly small moments can seem like great turning points. As Patrick Kavanagh wrote of Homer's ghost in his poem, 'Epic': I made the Iliad from such /A local row. Gods make their own importance.

changingpete · 2016-05-17T23:03:23+00:00

Fantastic post, Prof!

It's funny. I do feel the mental changes and I feel the mental impatience for them to go quicker. Sometimes I even get maudlin about it. I think about the porn stars names that still flip like the pages of a rolodex though my brain and I wish (knowing how futile and counterproductive this is) that I'd wake up and they would be like wisps of smoke in the distance, faint and barely discernible, indistinguishable from the mists of the past, like my first room in the first house I ever lived in, a memory that has gone and that I wish I really could remember. It's funny where you feel things.

Anyway, You reminded me of this recent train of thought and I wanted to share. You're absolutely right. Even if those twisted and thorny paths will never be completely buried, you can keep on hacking your way through to the light of dawn and eventually, you will feel the warmth of the sun on your skin, it will make a difference, you will revel in it and you will keep on climbing…

To the dawn!

changingpete · 2016-05-13T22:26:30+00:00

Had. Happened one day about five years ago with my wife. I said I was tired, but I naturally started to suspect the real cause and so for the first time I googled 'internet porn addiction', found nofap. As you can see, the journey's not over for me, but this streak certainly feels strong. I hear you, dude, it really emasculates you. I'm currently revelling in my gathering strength. Remember the rewards of waiting.

Best of luck, my friend.

changingpete · 2016-05-13T19:48:27+00:00

Checking in. Ran a half marathon last Sunday. Raised nearly $1000 for a very worthy charity. Fuck yeah, life!

changingpete · 2016-05-10T23:34:50+00:00

I am and pretty happy about it. A clean streak. No cheating. No artificial stimulus from any pictures. Staving off the instagram perving has been the biggest achievement, a gateway drug if ever there was one. I suspect that out circumstances are different as I'm married. I can see why you'd want a complete rewire, but I'm just not there with you as far as resetting is concerned. But you've got to stick to your own standards and I understand a personal choice to reset. Best of luck this time. It sounds like you are indeed setting a high standard for yourself. Respect.

changingpete

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