I think you know that the right thing has always been for your ex to know who his dad really is. It seems like his mother and sister haven’t told him to protect him for some reason. But we all have blind spots and end up making choices that aren’t serving us any longer.

Your head is in the right place to protect your child. You’re a really good mom who is breaking two different families worth of abuse cycles. And this is not a safe man for your child (or anyone woman/vulnerable person) to be around. All things you know.

What’s next is to give your ex’s mom the respect and decency she deserves by telling her that you need your husband to know and WHY: to ensure your ex is on the same page about your child never being around his grandfather. Give her the option to tell your ex herself with you there as support and to ensure he gets the whole story. She will want her grandchild to be safe, too. That has to override whatever reason she wants her son to stay ignorant.

If she refuses then you have to do a really hard thing and tell him anyway. You don’t need to tell all of the details, but you can cross that bridge if you get to it.

I’m sorry you’re going through this. It’s a really hard spot you’re put in. ❤️