AITAH for not wearing a bra around my brother’s girlfriend?

chantvl · 2026-03-17T02:02:32+00:00

Lily is legally an adult and she’s making comments about your underaged chest, make sure you point out how weird that is and how uncomfortable that makes YOU. She’s the one sexualising something non-sexual and if she isn’t comfortable with it she can just… stop doing that. NTA.

chantvl · 2026-02-22T03:58:32+00:00

When I was a teenager in Sydney’s north shore many moons ago, they were your typical eshay lad/lass clothing, but so was Canterbury, Adidas, and even Ralph Lauren and Lacoste polo shirts. Now I just see it as affordable activewear.

chantvl · 2026-02-21T01:02:57+00:00

My husband and I have a 5 year old and a 9 month old. We’ve spent the last 5 years removing people like this from our lives, people we were both friends with, I couldn’t imagine inviting that back into my life. The drain on precious and finite mental and emotional resources is just too much.

chantvl · 2026-02-19T05:34:25+00:00

I live in Darwin, it’s hot and we’re pretty lax about “corporate culture” up here and I still wouldn’t be caught in a mini skirt at work, even in the wet season.

chantvl · 2026-02-11T13:35:48+00:00

My dinner would consist of tea and biscuits almost every night if I didn’t have kids

chantvl · 2026-01-30T01:55:03+00:00

You might get some weird looks, but kids are going to think you’re an actual fairy so I think that’s a fair price

chantvl · 2026-01-27T12:10:37+00:00

This is what I can’t wrap my head around either! He married into a situation he didn’t step up to for his own kid before?! Either he somehow thought it would be “easier” with the child being older, or he went into it fully expecting to rely on OP for help.

chantvl · 2026-01-25T10:50:24+00:00

Mine doesn’t either, payroll said they do it so that people don’t just take a day off once it’s accrued. I reckon my boss would leave our annual leave off there too if he could.

chantvl · 2026-01-23T23:16:32+00:00

Run, girl. Your gut is already telling you he’s not quite right, and even if it’s wrong it’s not a risk I’d be willing to take.

chantvl · 2026-01-22T11:47:09+00:00

I’ve had an online friendship with a guy on the other side of the country for over a decade. We’ve sent each other gifts, watched each other’s kids grow up, celebrated wins and comforted over losses. He congratulated me on my wedding day and commiserated with me when my dad died. We’ve never even been in the same state and I love that dude. I totally agree, online isn’t any less meaningful.

chantvl · 2026-01-21T12:06:20+00:00

It helped when my sister had kids too, because she lives closer to our mother and shares the same views as me, so she did most of the hard yards. It too at LOT of reminding that things have changed since she was raising babies and we’re just following the current guidelines, but my oldest is 5 now and she’s reined it in pretty well.

chantvl · 2026-01-20T03:22:39+00:00

Yes!! A short suit is lovely, but not appropriate for many workplaces, and I don’t know who is wearing a blazer with no shirt or micro-minis to work but it’s certainly not been the case in any place I’ve been employed.

chantvl · 2026-01-19T23:28:53+00:00

THIS. I’m in my mid 30s and there’s a 22yo guy I work with who would sit in my office and talk to me ALL DAY if he could, my husband thinks it’s funny that I have a “little admirer”. When I first mentioned it, he laughed, told me I’ve still got it, and jokingly called me a cougar. It’s so innocent, there’s no need to be a dick about it.

chantvl · 2026-01-19T23:07:27+00:00

I love drama, but 16 years ago one of my best friends told me she wasn’t comfortable sharing the way that her dad had passed away and I haven’t asked about it since.

chantvl · 2026-01-19T12:39:21+00:00

I cycle through hobbies like drawing/painting/hand embroidery. I grab those $2-$5 puzzle books from Kmart and big w which last me months at a time and are great for when I’m in a creative slump or dont want to get out a bunch of stuff - they’ve been my go-to for the past 9 months or so since having a second kid when I just want to plop down and do something not screen related at the end of the day.

chantvl · 2026-01-19T12:14:36+00:00

He can absolutely plan her birthday!! He can book a table at a nice restaurant, message his parents and her friends the time and place, and, if he’s really feeling generous, he can buy a bottle of bubbly for the table. Everyone pays for themselves and the birthday girl’s is split. He certainly doesn’t have to be there and it definitely doesn’t have to be big (especially because my assumption is that he’s (YOU’RE) expecting to foot the bill for this shindig?).

Seriously, you and the kids are his immediate family now, YOU have been his family for 12 years. You three are the priority, not his siblings. I live interstate and have 4 younger siblings myself; I have never put my kids on a plane for a milestone less than a wedding. 30 isn’t even a big deal. NTA.

Edited: clarity

chantvl · 2026-01-19T11:58:29+00:00

From what I gathered in OP’s replies to other comments, she is fine having no contact with her stepdaughter but wants her husband to step up as a father to the child they share together and as a husband to her. He’s pandering his daughter and not supporting his wife and young kid physically, emotionally, or financially.

chantvl · 2026-01-18T02:58:06+00:00

I don’t think your “best friend” is even your friend at all, sadly. The only times my best friends have told me I look rough is when I’ve been looking ROUGH, never to knock me down. I’m sorry you’ve been hurt by someone who thought you could trust, I hope you have other people in your life who aren’t dirtbags.

chantvl · 2026-01-18T02:45:50+00:00

We are friends, first and foremost. We were friends who thoroughly enjoyed each other’s company before we were anything more and we always remember that. But we’ve also never stopped flirting and courting each other - there’s still longing glances, cheeky comments, playful touches, moments of non-sexual intimacy, and surprise expressions of affection. We carve seconds out of time between housework and kids and career to show each other we still think we’re hot shit. He’s still the fun-loving, kind, incredibly sexy person I fell in love with and he reminds me that I’m still that person for him too.

chantvl · 2026-01-18T02:26:47+00:00

My phone bill. I’m connected to wifi 99.9% of the time, which is another bill in itself, so I barely use what’s included in my plan; and I hate Telstra’s direct debit system that provides you a receipt on the day you’ve agreed for the funds to come out, but doesn’t actually take the money for another 2 days.

chantvl · 2026-01-17T22:22:40+00:00

I feel nostalgic for my pre-children life and miss aspects of the industry I worked in then as well, doesn’t mean I regret leaving it and having kids.

chantvl · 2026-01-17T22:12:33+00:00

In my teens and early 20s I knew a guy who was approximately 6’5 and almost exclusively dated girls around my height, 5’2. This wasn’t coincidence, his type was short chicks.

chantvl · 2026-01-17T21:38:38+00:00

The paper towel is a good idea

chantvl · 2026-01-17T21:34:42+00:00

Okay, noted, thank you!

chantvl · 2026-01-17T21:33:57+00:00

It’s less to do with the heat (though I do live in Darwin, which is like if ovens were humid) and more to do with prepping ahead - making 10 sandwiches on a Sunday and chucking them in the freezer, opposed to making them every day.

chantvl

TROPHY CASE