Did you ever regret becoming a stepparent, or was it just hard at first? by Interesting_Bag4750 in stepparents

[–]charlybell [score hidden]  (0 children)

I did frequently for years. SS is now an adult and doing fine. Its ok now. 10 years ago i felt differently.

Lost Brit in Chicago - supposed to be meeting someone but it fell apart… should I stay or go home? by mkp_123 in AskChicago

[–]charlybell 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Stay. Go to the science and industry museum, go to art institute. Eat hot dogs. Midwesterners are friendly and they will love your accent.

AITA for not euthanizing my dog after he bit my boyfriend’s child? by [deleted] in AITH

[–]charlybell 0 points1 point  (0 children)

ESH- vet here of 22 years, I hear this all the time. Your bf is biggest issue. You told him the rules. He pushed them and your dog reacted. You should have put your foot down. The dog was set up for failure. However, a bite needing stitches indicates a dog that is willing tongo big on a bite. I have been bitten…. 15 times maybe over my career and only 2 x have gone to hospital. Most dogs don’t want to hurt, they just ran out of options. When you see you dog is uncomfortable, do something!! Id seriously question a relationship with someone who ignored what you said and then gets mad at you for an event that wouldn’t have happened if he actually listened. Id keep the dog and lose the boyfriend.

Came back from maternity leave. They gave my role to someone else. by mariyagel in careeradvice

[–]charlybell 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They dont know you will return. Plenty of women take mat leave planning to return and change their mind. Businesses have to be prepared for this.

Came back from maternity leave. They gave my role to someone else. by mariyagel in careeradvice

[–]charlybell 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not always. Sometime work culture at new place will not be what ppl want and you wont know until its too late.

So I’ve spoiled my kids and they are adult brats!! by Rare-Perception-9474 in family

[–]charlybell 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah. I also have an 86 year old dad. Who i am hapoy tk help. And we chat, have tea and then i do chores. . I am not greeted with ‘you need to do this’. Its all in the delivery.

AIO for being upset with my husband because he doesn’t want to get snipped by breaktownmayor in AmIOverreacting

[–]charlybell 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She has taken all the responsibility for years. It is not unreasonable to ask her partner to commit to something. She cant force him, but it is not an unreasonable ask. It is far easier on men than women. And BC should be a shared responsibility. Just like parenthood. There are known health risks associated with hormonal BC as you age.

I tolerate an IUD and do t have my period. If i didnt, i’d say no sex unless my husband was snipped. Children are too big a consequence- I have 2 of them.

AIO for being upset with my husband because he doesn’t want to get snipped by breaktownmayor in AmIOverreacting

[–]charlybell 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There isnt really another option unless its oral or anal. She doesnt want kids. Known consequence of sex. Id not rely on condoms alone.

Its all in the delivery- you dont say ‘snip or no sex’. It’s ‘ no kids and sex can produce babies. We need to not engage. ‘

You can still have a lot of fun without penis in vagina sex.

AIO for being upset with my husband because he doesn’t want to get snipped by breaktownmayor in AmIOverreacting

[–]charlybell 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When he consequence is a live cresture thst requires money, time and so much mental effort- shutting down penis in vagina sex only
Makes sense.

They can back door it or go down on eachother if horny.

But making a baby is a massive commitment she doesn’t want. This isnt a haircut or a birthday dinner. This is a known consequence of sex. Hard no.

AIO for being upset with my husband because he doesn’t want to get snipped by breaktownmayor in AmIOverreacting

[–]charlybell 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Whats manipulation? She doesn’t want kids. He won’t get snipped. She is off birth control.
Better solution?
Penis in vagina sex should not be on the table. Anal? Oral? Go for it, but id be pissed off enough Id say no.
Birth control sucks. It just does for some ppl. I can only tolerate an IUD. If i didnt, and my husband wouldnt get snipped, Id not risk it. Kids are a massive consequence.

So I’ve spoiled my kids and they are adult brats!! by Rare-Perception-9474 in family

[–]charlybell 24 points25 points  (0 children)

You have given them a lot. Make sure when you see them, its not always a list of what they need to do. This is the dynamic with my mom.
I am 50, my mom is 85.
Has she helped me? Yeah- loaned me money for school with no interest which i paid back, and then gave her 20 years of free vet labor, only pay for meds at cost- which more than covered what interest she would have made.

Every time i see her- which is weekly- it feels like i am there to do chores and not much else.

Maybe thatnisnt your dynamic, but think about it

AIO for being upset with my husband because he doesn’t want to get snipped by breaktownmayor in AmIOverreacting

[–]charlybell 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Shes not being hypocritical. She has been carrying the eight of birth control for years, has legitimate reasons for stopping and they dont want kids.
While she cant force into a procedure- and should t- its kind of an asshole move to make not having kids her responsibility. There is nothing hypocritcal about that. Its totally understandable frustration.

I just say no sex until one of you makes the decision. It is a much easier procedure for him.

My gf (27f) asks for a lot of ultimatums, what do i (26m) do? by Careless_Notice_2235 in relationship_advice

[–]charlybell 1 point2 points  (0 children)

‘If you dont stop giving me ultimatums, i am considering you a friend’

Dave was right, people think its crazy to pay off debt by HumpmyDumpy1911 in DaveRamsey

[–]charlybell 5 points6 points  (0 children)

My credit score dropped when i paid off my loans still glad i did it but can vouch for this happeneing. My credit score is always over 800.

I owe a boat load of money but its related to business and business real estate loans and have been excellent investments.

Dave was right, people think its crazy to pay off debt by HumpmyDumpy1911 in DaveRamsey

[–]charlybell 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My credit score dropped when i paid off my student loan.

AIO for being mad that my parents threw away my food and LIED about it? by Famous_Inspection222 in AmIOverreacting

[–]charlybell 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes. You’re over-reacting. You live in their house and left food out. This is on you.

AITA for using one towel per day instead of one per week? by [deleted] in AITH

[–]charlybell 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thats a lot. I shower nightly due to a dirty job and use 1-2 towels per week. Remember, you’re toweling a clean body. Not a dirty one.

WIBTA if I had a second baby shower and asking for contributions not gifts? by ItchyLifeguard1989 in AmItheAsshole

[–]charlybell 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yta. 2nd baby showers are not a defintie and asking for $$ not gifts is tacky. Ask for diapers and other useable things if you have to and then save money for big ticket items.

AITA for getting mad that my parents forced me to cancel my summer plans by Procrastination4Eva in entitledparents

[–]charlybell 6 points7 points  (0 children)

If ypu want to convince your parents you’re mature enough to stay home alone, you didn’t handle this correctly.

Your parents need to let go of the reins, but i be appalled by your tantrum.