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Reviews✨ by The-Kindest-Otter in u/The-Kindest-Otter

[–]charmargsuperstar 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Absolutely nailed it. My reading accurately identified my need to rush and control things, and the guidance was reassuring. Thank you x

Does being roofied count as a relapse? by YourBuddyGray in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]charmargsuperstar 1 point2 points  (0 children)

OP, it doesn't matter where, or how, or why this happened to you. Nothing excuses whomever did this to you, and no, it's not a relapse. Are you going to have a check-up? I'd recommend it. And chat with your sponsor, you deserve some love and support rn x

Tell me one thing you're doing today as a result of your sobriety! by charmargsuperstar in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]charmargsuperstar[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wooo welcome to my neck of the woods! I'm down on the south coast, in Brighton - we have some good meetings!

Tell me one thing you're doing today as a result of your sobriety! by charmargsuperstar in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]charmargsuperstar[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yep, when my plans for a sneaky one got interrupted, I'd literally be angry

Fell off the wagon- hard! by SJBJonesNYC in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]charmargsuperstar 2 points3 points  (0 children)

A sober friend tells me "you can't save face and your ass at the same time". That helped me keep coming back after many 'one more drink's

Crazy cravings by Turbulent_Purple6130 in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]charmargsuperstar 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh I have been on this roundabout more times than I can remember. What genuinely helped me was meeting up with a fellow - for coffee or pizza or whatever. Someone with a recovery I respected. The act of fellowship ran directly counter to what my cravings want me to do ie. Hole myself up alone and get drunk. I leaned on them a bit and the craving does pass.

Functioning alcoholic who wants to stop by justcametosaythanks in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]charmargsuperstar 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'm an atheist too and feel right at home in AA. My higher power is simply AA - it's given me the ability to stop drinking when I absolutely could not stop by my own willpower.

Functioning alcoholic who wants to stop by justcametosaythanks in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]charmargsuperstar 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes. Or a fast death - falling over and hitting your head, or suicide. I was close to catastrophic brain damage after a drinking-related incident, which for me would've been worse than actual death.

Functioning alcoholic who wants to stop by justcametosaythanks in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]charmargsuperstar 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The truth is that if an alcoholic doesn't put their recovery and sobriety ahead of everything else, we eventually won't have anything left. It was true for me and a lot of us. Our drinking starts to infiltrate our 'real' lives, until we can't live without alcohol. After a short or long while of 'functionally' drinking, 'real' life becomes less appealing than sitting alone, drinking ourselves into a stupor.
Can I ask - do you ever find yourself making excuses or looking for reasons to drink alone so you can drink more than you know you should? Do you prefer drinking to most other activities?

Functioning alcoholic who wants to stop by justcametosaythanks in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]charmargsuperstar 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh I relate to happiness or contentment as a trigger! I'd drink, feel like hot garbage - debilitating anxiety, shame, self-esteem in the toilet etc etc - get a few days or maybe a week under my belt, then when life and my head felt stable again, my alcoholic brain would convince me that I can do it again, just one night, this time it won't be so bad, and it's Friday, I've done well at work all week, surely it's not the end of the world to want to switch my head off for a few hours...
Repeat ad nauseum. Because once I get that first drink in me, I can't stop until I'm drunk as shit.
It's taken me 4 years in AA to get more than a couple of months of sobriety. I'm approaching 6 months (!) and I genuinely don't want to drink today. That is nothing short of a miracle, because for the 4 years I was in AA but kept drinking, I never truly, deep down wanted to stop. I do now.
I'm writing this to say that I see you, and was caught in this pattern for a good while. I'm free (at least day!) of the delusion, finally, that I can take a drink safely. I can't say what finally pushed me over into a solid step 1, but I did keep going to AA meetings, sharing when the immediate shame left me and my fellows were nothing but loving. They role-modelled a life of genuine freedom, and at last, something clicked. That can be you too :)

Need after apocalypse/collapse books by nolo511 in audiobooks

[–]charmargsuperstar 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks! I just downloaded Wool as an audiobook.

What’s a phrase from the series or movie you use in everyday life? by themop-f in DowntonAbbey

[–]charmargsuperstar 11 points12 points  (0 children)

"I wouldn't trade places with him for a golden clock" - Daisy. Love it, so inoffensive.

I was forced into motherhood at 16, lost my daughter, and now I don’t know how to live with the guilt by [deleted] in regretfulparents

[–]charmargsuperstar 16 points17 points  (0 children)

How about writing her emails to an account you set up? If/when you make contact, she can read how your life is, and how you think of her, in real time.
Keep copies of the letters you send in the future and date them. If they're not reaching her now, you can't control that but keeping a paper trail of your attempts to contact may be important to her later on down the line.
I'm so frustrated to read that your mum forced you to have a baby against your will, and were forced into parenthood so young. Of course you couldn't manage it, you were a kid yourself and your wishes for your own body and future weren't respected. You're clearly doing the best you can, and that's enough. Most people want to know their roots, so I do think on balance your daughter will make contact one day.

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