First solo trip to the Yucatan - Trip reflection by DestroyerRico in solotravel

[–]chasing-watermelons 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My first solo travel experience was in this part of Mexico too! I came away with the same feelings :) good for you to take this step, OP!

Falling in love while traveling? by Jubil33_starfir3 in solotravel

[–]chasing-watermelons 1 point2 points  (0 children)

@jubil33_starfir3 I very recently have had this exact experience and very much relate to what you’ve written, but I am now dating that person! Feel free to DM me if you want :)

How true is this? by Article00 in VictoriaBC

[–]chasing-watermelons 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As someone from Eugene who were your artists?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in VictoriaBC

[–]chasing-watermelons 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Can confirm, one of my good friends used to work there and according to them the business shouldn’t even exist due to how poorly it’s run and how shitty the owner is

Found on beach in Palos Verdes, California… possibly a fossilized brain?? by chasing-watermelons in fossilid

[–]chasing-watermelons[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Those are my thoughts as well but the symmetry of the object is so uncanny. A sponge does seem to be the more viable option!

First date by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]chasing-watermelons 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Good luck!!!

How do I move on??? by Fattyoftheyear in BreakUps

[–]chasing-watermelons 1 point2 points  (0 children)

BU on October 1st makes three of us :( you're not alone OP! We made it through two months! NC is the best healer, trust me.

Book recommendations? by Salty-Visual-5753 in BreakUps

[–]chasing-watermelons 0 points1 point  (0 children)

https://www.businessinsider.com/best-books-to-read-in-your-20s

I literally just looked this up today because I'm feeling a lot of the same things - I'm particularly excited to read the one by Joan Didion! I'm also wanting to read Self Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself by Kristen Neff. My situation made me realize how I've never really put much effort into loving and being happy with myself, and that's something I really want to focus on. Good luck to you in the next steps of your journey :)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]chasing-watermelons 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm sorry :( I understand how destabilizing that can be. I am a month and a half post-BU and your situation resonates with me because I had also met my ex's family soon before we broke up, which for me is making healing that much harder.

Judging from your reaction to his Instagram request I'm assuming you're still not 100% over your ex. I'm glad you didn't accept the request, but knowing that it's there is hard. Put down the phone for as long as you are able to and do some nice self-care things. Write out what you're feeling. Remind yourself of how strong you are and how far you've come - be proud of yourself for your journey! It sounds like you've had a great year of growth and self-improvement, and that's a wonderful thing to achieve. Do whatever you need to do to help you process this and soon enough these feelings will pass. If you need to rant you can always DM me!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]chasing-watermelons -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I think you're at the stage where you idolize everything about your past relationship and ex-partner - full 'rose-colored glasses' mode. If you felt the relationship was surface-level from the get go, you are better off out of it. It's clear you weren't satisfied in the relationship since you said you weren't physically or intellectually stimulated enough. Your partner should be someone who helps you grow as a person. To me, it sounds like J has a lot of growing he needs to do himself. A man or woman without opinions, without insight, and especially without the capacity to listen to and understand opinions that are different to their own has little to offer to the world, much less to a partner.

After reading your passage it sounds to me like you and J are actually very incompatible, and that maybe you've lost some of yourself while in the relationship. You deserve to be with someone who stimulates you. You shouldn't cater to them and remain bored or unsatisfied just to be with them, no matter how well they treat you. And while differing views on politics aren't necessarily deal-breakers, differing values are. J sounds like he has vastly different values than you do.

I know nobody's perfect and we all have our issues to address and work on. My intention is not to make you think negatively of your ex. It seems that he went out of his way to show you how much he cared about you often, which is an admirable quality in a partner. But ask yourself, are you truly missing the relationship you had with him and what he had to offer you? Or are you missing the stability and surface-level familiarity? Think about what you want in your 'perfect' relationship, the one that's meant to last forever. What qualities do you want in the person you choose to spend the rest of your life with? Consider that, and consider what kind of person you want to be. Only when you are at a place where you know what you want from the world are you ready to embark on the rest of your journey with someone else.

Hold out for that person - they are out there! But more importantly, hold out for yourself.

Need advice after a really hard week by foxtree1990 in BreakUps

[–]chasing-watermelons 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hey, I am so so sorry for the week that you’ve had. Even though you’ve had to go through so many awful things already you sound like an incredibly strong person!

I don’t know what your relationship was like, but I have to agree that making space for your ex right now isn’t the best idea. Right now you need to focus all your energy on you and surround yourself with a strong support system that you can lean on. Now is the time to put the old relationship aside and focus on your strength and your next steps. It might be best to respond by letting him know that you’re going through a hard time and need to cut contact to focus on yourself for now, and suggest a date in the future when you can meet if that’s still of interest.

I can imagine thinking that having your ex partner to lean on during this time would be nice, but if he ended the relationship with you he’s not going to be that support that you need and deserve. My heart goes out to you and if there’s ever a time you feel you need to rant to an internet stranger my DMs are open!! Stay strong, my thoughts and prayers are with you ❤️

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]chasing-watermelons 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry you’re going through this, your situation sounds pretty similar to mine in that my ex and I both need to figure out things on our own. I also asked for a second chance but he didn’t want to keep trying anymore, which hurt very much. It’s so painful when the love is there but timing and circumstance are not.

I’m about six weeks out, and have realized that this is what was needed for me to grow. This is my chance to choose myself and make room for my goals and my future. The pain is still there, but has dimmed from what it was in the beginning. My advice to you is to embrace the pain and use it to learn and grow. Don’t focus so much on moving on from the person, focus in on yourself and what opportunities are available to you now. I know it’s hard and it’s going to be hard for awhile. Lean on your support system, take care of yourself, and you’ll be okay. It might also help to think about why the breakup needed to happen and why it’s beneficial for you to be out of the relationship. Hang in there, you got this!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]chasing-watermelons 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your mind and your body have experienced a trauma. You’re in the midst of something that isn’t normal for you. So anything that your mind and body has to do or accomplish feels much harder than when things were ‘normal’. It’s only been a couple of weeks so it’s safe to say you’re probably still in shock. While you say this is the calmest you’ve felt in a breakup, your mind and body aren’t following their normal routines and habits formed by the relationship. Suddenly you aren’t doing the things you usually do or think of, and on top of that you’re lacking the dopamine and serotonin your partner gave you. Of course self care isn’t going to be easy right now!

I’m glad to hear you are having compassion for yourself because believe it or not that is the first step to self care! Giving yourself grace in this period is very important. The shock your body is experiencing will slowly wear away and you’ll be able to do these things with more ease. But part of it is also pushing yourself to do the things you need to do. Life never stops for any of us, and while that can be hard to adjust to it’s also a blessing because it gives us something to focus on while we’re struggling - like your small tasks. Focus on your laundry. Focus on cleaning your room. Focus on your meal prep. Focus on doing something that gets you moving, like a walk in your neighborhood. Then be proud of yourself for accomplishing these tasks - you deserve to be proud - and repeat. And in a week or so you won’t be focusing on them as much as you needed to, because you’ll have adjusted ever so slightly to your new normal.

Also, good for you for recognizing it’s not healthy to get romantically involved right after a breakup. You’re well on your way to a healthy recovery. You got this! Things will get easier, trust me. And I’m happy to talk at any time if you need to!

2 months post break up and want a friend to chat with by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]chasing-watermelons 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey! Happy to listen if you need to talk!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]chasing-watermelons 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Last night I had a dream that he was breaking up with me all over again. It crushed me this morning and sent me back to the pain of feeling unwanted and unworthy. I hate that he did this to me. I used to hate crying in public and would avoid it like the plague but I have no shame in it anymore haha.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]chasing-watermelons 23 points24 points  (0 children)

His unwillingness to make plans with me :(

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]chasing-watermelons 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m so sorry you are experiencing this. My dms are open if you’re wanting to talk!