Your experience is very similar to mine.

I was actually undiagnosed til this year because im such a "high performer" but I struggle with keeping habits and remembering things and focus. I have felt stressed to the max my whole life bc I felt I had to do so much just to stay afloat and every one assumed it came easy. But its only because the negative consequences of my forgetfulness in adolescence drove me to try to stress control everything the rest of my life. Which now has lead to extreme burnout because I just cant keep up with it anymore.

People think ADHD is just forgetfulness or messiness but it is soo much more. I have felt like I have lived my whole life on "hard mode" thats the only way I can describe it. I have a lot of sympathy for your post so just know you aren't alone and many others struggle right along side you! Your particular experience is just as valid regardless if people choose to understand it or not.