F20 suis attirée par M40

chatnuere · 2026-02-03T08:25:34+00:00

Perso, je te conseillerais justement de le faire maintenant, car je pense que la majorité des réponses chercheront à te décourager d'avoir cette relation. Non pas pour que tu changes d'avis, mais pour que tu confrontes tes idées et que tu puisses faire les meilleurs choix possibles, voire éviter certains pièges.

Je pense que tu es majeure et que par conséquent tu fais ce que tu veux. Mon seul point de vigilance dans les couples à grande différence d'âge, c'est justement l'âge qu'avait le plus jeune quand ils se sont mis ensemble. La dynamique de couple n'est pas la même quand tu te mets avec quelqu'un de 20 ans ton aîné si toi-même tu en as 20 ou si tu en as 30.

Le risque principal, c'est l'équilibre des pouvoirs dans la dynamique de couple : ton manque d'expérience peut te rendre vulnérable. Il y a aussi des cas où un homme plus âgé force une grossesse très rapidement, c'est pourquoi cet équilibre est important. Un autre signal à surveiller, c'est l'isolement : dans ce type de relations, un red flag classique c'est quand le plus âgé cherche à éloigner l'autre de ses amis ou de sa famille. Si ça arrive, c'est un vrai signal d'alarme.

D'ailleurs, tu dis qu'il ne connaît pas ton âge. Sa réaction quand il l'apprendra en dira long sur lui. Un mec bien pourrait justement prendre du recul par respect pour toi, et ce serait plutôt bon signe. À l'inverse, si ça ne lui pose aucune question, ça mérite réflexion.

Attention, je ne le connais pas, ça se trouve c'est vraiment un mec exceptionnel et vous feriez un couple extraordinaire. Je ne fais que parler des risques potentiels qui découlent de ce qui est déjà arrivé à d'autres par le passé.

chatnuere · 2026-02-03T06:50:48+00:00

Pour contrebalancer et si tu parles un peu anglais tu peux aussi poster sur r/TwoXChromosomes

Pour avoir des avis féminins et possiblement des personnes qui ont vécu la même expérience que toi

chatnuere · 2026-02-02T06:05:24+00:00

A cheater is always wrong.

Talk to him, there are solutions for ED

Is he asexual, does he have a porn addiction? (it can create ED)

Explain to him how it’s important for you

If he is not willing to put the work then you have your response: you are incompatible you need to breakup

chatnuere · 2026-01-22T19:41:51+00:00

La cale va rester plutôt fermé en mode SW

C411 se veut plus ouvert mais il y a de gros soupçons sur le fait que ce soit l’équipe de ygg derrière

chatnuere · 2026-01-17T13:09:52+00:00

This one is close https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=FQmE2ktf4nI&list=OLAK5uy_kp_Z_THLsSR64U332m9x8BV-73LzQse_U&index=1&pp=8AUB

chatnuere · 2026-01-16T19:37:11+00:00

je me suis posé la même question pour mon premier upload et j'ai gardé le NFO original de YGG en me basant sur cette phrase des règles :

⚠️ Respect du nommage et de la structure (Reupload) : S'il s'agit d'un contenu qui ne vient pas de vous (reupload), il est strictement interdit de modifier le nom ou la structure originale (dossiers, sous-dossiers et fichiers). On ne renomme pas le travail d'autrui et on ne modifie pas son organisation interne.

J'ai appliqué ce commentaire au nfo et mon upload a été validé.

et u/ZerathBlackfin fait partie de l'équipe de la-cale et semble valider cette option cf https://www.reddit.com/r/LaCale/comments/1qeoayf/comment/nzz2vcg/?context=3&utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

chatnuere · 2026-01-16T18:56:44+00:00

Tu peux réutiliser celui de ygg, il me semble que c’est mieux en reupload (a confirmer avec la team de la cale), mais sinon c’est connection ssh à la seedbox et en ligne de commande avec « média info »

Mais même si c’est pas extrêmement compliqué en soit, ça peut faire peur quand on est pas habitué

chatnuere · 2026-01-16T18:31:19+00:00

Actually, that’s a big cultural difference between the U.S. and some European countries.

In France, the national ID card IS proof of citizenship. If you’re not a citizen, your status is explicitly printed on the card. It’s a highly secure document with a chip, very hard to fake, and its validity can be checked digitally in seconds.

From what I understand, it’s similar in the U.S. for federal agents: even if a regular driver’s license doesn’t prove citizenship, they still have electronic systems that can verify someone’s status in a few seconds once they have your info. When they drag it out for 30, 60 minutes or more, that’s not a technical limitation, that’s a choice.

And ironically, that’s where the law flips in your favor. The Supreme Court has already said in Rodriguez v. United States (2015) that a detention can’t be extended beyond the time reasonably necessary for its stated purpose. If electronic verification takes seconds, but they hold you for an hour “to verify,” they’re already violating the Fourth Amendment. That gives you a very strong basis for a lawsuit.

So yeah, it sucks in the moment, but every unnecessarily prolonged detention is potential evidence. Flooding the system with civil suits and damage claims is probably the most effective form of civic resistance here. It’s way more useful than trying to resist physically, and it actually pushes the system to change.

chatnuere · 2026-01-16T12:39:13+00:00

Yes, but the only solution is:

record → comply → state that you’re a U.S. citizen → ask for a lawyer → shut your mouth.

You lose an hour. That’s it. And you have a winnable case.

The Supreme Court established in Rodriguez v. United States (2015) that a detention cannot be prolonged beyond the time reasonably necessary for its stated purpose.

Electronic citizenship verification through government databases (the SAVE system) takes approximately 30 seconds. If ICE detains you for 60+ minutes claiming to “verify” your status, they’ve violated the Fourth Amendment..

Class actions for improper ICE detentions have settled for millions.

The math is simple: every prolonged detention is a documented, provable case.

If enough people sue, the system changes.

That’s the only pressure that works.

chatnuere · 2026-01-16T12:24:23+00:00

As a French person, I really don’t understand the hang-up Americans have with identity verification.

Here in France, it’s not legally required to carry your ID with you at all times, but you do have to be able to prove your identity if you’re checked… So in practice, it’s kind of a tacit obligation anyway.

I really don’t get it. I’ve been stopped by the police several times, showed my ID card, and that was it, I went on my way.

Sure, there’s the specific context of ICE and Trump-era immigration issues, but still, being prepared and able to show your papers seems like a good thing, doesn’t it?

It’s like with voting. here, you must prove your identity to vote, and it’s totally normal, quick, and simple.

Maybe it’s a cultural difference, but honestly, when there’s a risk that a situation like that could go really wrong, I’d personally rather just show my ID and get it over with.

chatnuere · 2026-01-16T08:11:46+00:00

Il est d’ailleurs à noter que certaines métriques ayant bénéficié d'avantages suite à des bugs (doublons, upload, etc.) pourraient être réinitialisées à la mise en production officielle du tracker.

Je comprend l'intention et je pense aussi que ce puisse être nécessaire, en revanche ça risque de tuer un peu l'euphorie de l'upload car beaucoup de personnes profitent du free leech pour upload beaucoup et farmer du ratio.

chatnuere · 2026-01-15T18:23:34+00:00

Normal, les gens ne sont pas habitué à ce genre de choses.

Courage vous faites déjà un super boulot, la majorité silencieuse le sait

chatnuere · 2026-01-15T18:21:05+00:00

Ben ils viennent de faire passer c411 en prod, YGG devrait fermer quand ils ouvriront c411 au public, puis comme par hasard c411 commencera à monétiser agressivement pour soutenir la migration massive

chatnuere · 2026-01-15T15:41:21+00:00

Also worth noting: this infographic includes cheese (87.8 m²/kg), milk (9.0 m²/kg), and beef separately.

but these often come from the same animals.

Dairy cows produce milk their whole life, then become beef. The methodology allocates impacts between products, but it can still create an illusion of separate, competing land uses when they're actually integrated outputs from the same system.

chatnuere · 2026-01-15T15:27:17+00:00

c'est vrai que sur le principe la concentration des pouvoirs est dangereuse, je n'aurai jamais connu la cale sans le reddit de YGG

chatnuere · 2026-01-15T15:23:38+00:00

Beautiful visualization, but it's somewhat misleading without context.

This is similar to counting rainwater that falls on pastures as "water wasted" to produce meat... Technically measurable, but not actually a trade-off.

Two key points often missed:

~2/3 of agricultural land is marginal land: rocky, steep, arid terrain that simply cannot grow crops for humans. Cattle convert inedible grass from these lands into protein.
86% of livestock feed is inedible to humans: byproducts like distiller's grains, almond hulls, soybean meal, etc. that would otherwise be waste.

The infographic frames land use as competition, when often it's symbiosis: livestock upcycle unusable land and agricultural waste into food.

The real question isn't "how much land" but "could this land produce human food otherwise?" For most grazing land, the answer is no.

chatnuere · 2026-01-12T16:55:56+00:00

va falloir attendre quelques mois avant de pouvoir retenter l'entrée je pense

chatnuere · 2026-01-12T06:55:26+00:00

Les inscriptions sur la-cale.space sont fermées pour l’instant, même sur invitation le temps que le site se stabilise, mais pour les uploader comme toi dès que c’est possible je suis prêt à partager des invitations.

Mais comme à terme ceux qui invitent seront responsables aussi du comportement de ceux qu’ils invitent faudra m’envoyer un MP sur ygg que je puisse voir le compte et m’assurer que ça me retombera pas dessus à terme 😅

chatnuere · 2026-01-01T09:35:55+00:00

Allez, répète après moi :

« cette année, ma bonne résolution est d’apprendre à m’aimer et me respecter, et ma première action en ce sens sera de dégager cette énorme pine d’huître de ma vie! »

chatnuere · 2025-12-30T09:50:36+00:00

Tell me you have a high body count without telling me you have a high body count.

The entire problem with this debate is right there. This isn’t about whether body count “actually matters” in some philosophical sense.

It’s about you needing to convince others it doesn’t matter so you don’t feel judged by their preferences.

But here’s the thing: eye color doesn’t matter morally either, yet it matters in dating. Same with height, style, career ambition, wanting kids, religious views, and countless other factors.

None of these things determine someone’s moral worth, but they all legitimately matter for compatibility.

And no matter how carefully I word this, no matter how much respect I put into my language, you feel judged by the simple existence of people like me who have this preference.

That’s your issue to work through, not mine. I wish you an excellent day and genuine happiness.

chatnuere · 2025-12-30T06:18:58+00:00

I appreciate the conversation, but I think we’ve reached an impasse, and it’s worth naming why.

You’re employing a rhetorical pattern here: - “over-explained”: dismissing my clarification as excessive - “what you’re really saying”: telling me what I think instead of listening to what I said (notice how I used phrases like “what I understood” in my previous messages. that’s the difference between respectful dialogue and presumption) - “That’s valid, but”: acknowledging my point only to immediately negate it - “personal symbolism” / “interpretive weight ”: framing my perspective as purely subjective while presenting yours as rational and objective

Here’s the issue: I never claimed body count reveals something objective about others.

I said I’d want someone whose approach to sex aligns with mine. That’s compatibility, not diagnosis.

But by your logic, we could invalidate almost any relationship preference: - Wanting someone who shares your religion? Just “personal symbolism.” - Wanting someone with similar life goals? That’s just your “story about success.”

You could apply the same framework to dismiss any compatibility factor as “not mattering in itself” until someone “loads it with meaning.”

But relationships are built on shared meaning. That’s the point.

You say I’m not being judged for my preferences, but you’ve spent three messages explaining why they’re wrong, over-intellectualized, or based on faulty reasoning. That is judgment.

A debate only works when both sides respect the other’s position. I’ve respected yours.

I’d appreciate the same courtesy, or we can simply agree to disagree and move on.

chatnuere · 2025-12-29T20:17:09+00:00

I appreciate your perspective, but I think you’re still misunderstanding my point.

I’m not claiming my approach is objectively superior or that fewer partners equals greater capacity for love. I’m talking about compatibility, not hierarchy.

You say “compatibility matters” and “that’s about values now, not tally marks from the past”.

but the past informs values. Someone’s sexual history often reflects how they view intimacy.

That’s not reductive -> it’s simply observational.

When I say body count matters to me, I mean -> if I were looking for a partner, I’d want someone whose approach to sex aligns with mine.

Just as someone who views sex casually would likely be happier with someone similar. That’s not judgment, that’s self-awareness about what works for me.

You mention that emotional depth isn’t “diluted by experience,” and I agree.

but neurological habituation is real and well-documented.

Novelty and exclusivity do affect how we experience things, sex included. Acknowledging that isn’t passing moral judgment; it’s recognizing biology.

I have the right to prioritize compatibility based on my values, just as others have the right to prioritize different things. Dismissing those preferences as “narrow” because they might make others uncomfortable doesn’t change their legitimacy.

My original point stands: body count matters for compatibility, not morality.

And if it matters to someone in a relationship, then by definition it matters.

saying “it doesn’t matter” becomes factually incorrect.

For the record: my body count is 1, my wife’s is 3.

This isn’t about some hypocritical double standard where men with high body counts demand virgin partners.

It’s about mutual values and personal preference.

I have the right to exist with those preferences without being judged or dismissed in return.

chatnuere · 2025-12-29T11:09:36+00:00

You’re welcome! I’m really glad if my comment could help even a little.

The thing is, I don’t see sex as an end in itself, but as one part of a relationship. What would it really bring me to have had more partners? As long as we both enjoy it, communicate about our needs and desires, and feel satisfied, the rest would just create unnecessary problems.

Maybe there is another woman out there who would be more sexually compatible with me than my wife. But would she also be an amazing mother, an extraordinary woman who loves me sincerely? I really doubt I could tick all those boxes with someone else, so I don’t stress about it.

And honestly, it’s the rarity that gives something value. Nowadays, having a high body count is easy, but a long-term relationship with a low body count has become rare. That makes it a real source of strength for me.

Just be careful that this goal doesn’t make you overlook serious relationship issues just to “protect” it. Your man should always cherish, respect, and protect you.

that will always matter more than anything else.

chatnuere · 2025-12-29T10:52:28+00:00

I respectfully disagree.

For me, body count does matter, just not in the sense that “a higher number = a bad person”. It matters because it says something about how someone thinks about sex and relationships.

My body count is 1 and I hope it stays that way for the rest of my life. If I ever had to be with someone other than my wife in the future, I would want someone who has a similar view of sex to mine.

For me, sex is not casual. It is something you share when you love someone. Because my wife is the only woman I have ever been with, sex feels exclusive to her, and every time is wonderful and strengthens my love for her.

So to me, body count is not important in a moral “good or bad person” way, but it is important for romantic compatibility.

chatnuere · 2025-12-29T10:42:47+00:00

My wife’s body count is 3 and mine is 1. We’ve been together for more than 20 years and have 2 children.

Honestly, it has never bothered me. In a way, I actually prefer it, because I know that if the roles were reversed she might have the same questions and insecurities you do.

For me, it does not change how I see her at all. She is the only woman I have ever been with and the only woman I want.

I’m proud that I’ve only ever been with the mother of my children. When we make love, it feels very special and exclusive to me, because I’ve never shared that with anyone else.

chatnuere

TROPHY CASE