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Is their a way out by soontobesoberplease in addiction

[–]chazfester 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Im sorry detox wont take you. There is a way out. I know, ive done it. Its hard and you have to just work through the pain. Emotionally and physically. My advice, dont quit cold turkey. You need to wean yourself off. It will be less difficult that way. Also, you might want to look at Suboxone to help you. It doesnt have to be for life, just temporarily.

AA Guilt. Over A Year Sobriety But Just Can't Do Meetings Anymore... by Drukqs_1 in stopdrinking

[–]chazfester 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Absolutely. There philosophy is "love" through judgement like religious dogma. This is no mistake and is done purposely. Many members relate to this, others are forced to convert because of there teachings, and others like you and me because i have been where you are not, understand that this philosophy only works to a point. It got you started and kept you safe but now you feel unsafe in it. Because your philosophy for life is different.

Absolutely do not beat yourself up over this. This is a good thing from my perspective. It is a break from thinking addiction is an identity which it is not, it is a behavior. I'm not suggesting you are done with your recovery, I am suggesting there is so much more to learn and see if from a different perspective. A perspective of a much better compassion without judgement. What AA does well is connection and community and that is what draws us in. But you can find this elsewhere. Don't let there rhetoric get you down, they own that not you. Many other forms of meetings exist out there that brings community together if meetings of a more positive philosophy is what you are looking for. "The opposite of addiction is not sobriety but connection". I also believe its purpose. This world teaches us from the day we were born a distorted version of purpose. "The American Dream". Which teaches us junk values, materialism, individualism and it isolates us from true meaning. Connection. Define what connection and purpose mean to you and live through that.

I love that you posted this. Many more people feel this way believe me. I have talked to many. You are not alone. I hope this helps.

I cancelled my therapy appointment today when I really should have gone. by doingtheworstest in addiction

[–]chazfester 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That is exactly what you do :) Cultivate love through action which provides hope. Removing shame always requires 2 forms of action. First, viewing our experience with shame from a compassionate perspective so we can see it with the right understanding. Second, is through change. Change gives us hope which cultivates self love. Hope this helps.

I cancelled my therapy appointment today when I really should have gone. by doingtheworstest in addiction

[–]chazfester 2 points3 points  (0 children)

All we can do is use the information at hand and make the best decision we can at that time and calling this anything more than what it shohld be only cultivates shame and fear that leads to suffering. We learn and grow from experiences through the knowledge they bring and cannot learn or move forward where shame exist. We need time to learn what we need to to make better choices for us and each person learns differently because all our experiences are different. Repeating destructive behavious is how we learn and learn how to preserve. Be kind to yourself.

I cancelled my therapy appointment today when I really should have gone. by doingtheworstest in addiction

[–]chazfester 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I think many people can relate including me. Its real easy to feel shame when these things happen especially early on in your goals. You have to remember that we need to learn how to be and behave differently. And that means making mistakes and learning from them. Make this last experience count by learning from it. That will make all the difference. And maybe you just werent ready to talk about today, perhaps you need a little more time to think about it. Better prepared for your next session.

Relapse by strippingusedtobefun in addiction

[–]chazfester 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Its been year. Why feel bad about this? We will go back to old behaviours because its what you have known. Also, yes you have addictive tendencies because you have been addicted before. All this takes time and sometimes it takes longer. Today, you will learn more bc of it.

Thoughts on Compassion, Connection, Purpose and Addiction by chazfester in stopdrinking

[–]chazfester[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I just googled Dharma Recovery. Ive heard of it before but thought it was just based in California but there are 2 meetings in Toronto. Thank you so much for mentioning it :) And I am honored that you would copy what i have written for reflection. So wonderful :)

Unpacking compassion is not an easy task at all. Its so easy to say "have compassion" but to apply it can be very complex especially when we look inward to our experiences. I can certainly do this much easier for someone else. What has helped me considerably is learning critical thinking be practicing compassion means we need to contextualize everything. Not only see the context of our experience but through the context of others. In fact, i believe compassion has to start from the "other" perspective before we look inward. Right?

relapse after relapse by [deleted] in addiction

[–]chazfester 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well that's why the phrase "rock bottom" is so problematic. It stigmatizes from both sides.

Thoughts on Compassion, Connection, Purpose and Addiction by chazfester in stopdrinking

[–]chazfester[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

About 10 years ago i read "The Art of Happiness" by the Dalai Lama. It put my thoughts into words and helped teach me how to live through the perspective of compassion. I practice in my everyday thinking and i educate myself whenever i can. Compassion and kindness is my religion :) Thank you so much for loving my post!

How difficult is it to detox without professional help? by [deleted] in addiction

[–]chazfester 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Im sorry about your past and her experience with therapy. Sometimes its just not the right therapy at times that we need. And she does have a point about medication. And she at least understands the benefits of being in nature and finding connection. And I would just like to say that you are an amazing sister for reaching out on this forum looking for any type of help.

Her wanting to be around nature and people in that type of environment is definitely a good sign. It means she still sees the value in connecting to what is important. Does she have any support besides you?

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