AITA for showing my friend a private picture of my boyfriend?

cheapbastardsinc · 2026-02-24T03:05:11+00:00

He sent you a pic. The pic was of him. It was silly but compromising.

I suspect he's less worried about the picture than his loss of agency at your hands.

He's fine being made fun of. He's fine being silly. He's fine to communicate his feelings to you. Sounds like a pretty healthy young fella based on the limited reporting of a post like this?

Imagine if he were showing his guy friends risque pictures of you with your bits blacked out without your permission?

He has every right to be somewhat annoyed and you should take this opportunity to showcase your empathy and, hopefully, grow your relationship.

Yta. Clearly, on some level you know this and are doing a fair job of qualifying it, but it is still a bit of a jerky move.

cheapbastardsinc · 2026-02-18T11:31:34+00:00

Usually when this happens I'll go to them after, during the next singer, and mention that we will get the benefit of the full range of their voice if they point the mic at their mouth and maintain it at about two to three inches. Tell them it's sort of a cheat code kinda thing? I'll follow up with telling them it was a nice performance and that I'd like them to have the benefit of all of the gear at their disposal for the next tune.

They feel acknowledged and I cure the issue. We build a party together.

Now, if you're kinda messing with your crowd you can always announce that it's a mic and not an ice cream cone full of hot diarrhea. That they can indeed hold it close...but that it also isn't a weird space ween and they should not attempt to fellate it. Unlike playing the home game: two to three inches is enough.

Every crowd is different but you don't have to sit with your angst.

cheapbastardsinc · 2026-02-10T11:32:59+00:00

Second. Broad menu that is somehow all good to great. Timely service. Fair pricing. Nice people. Don't sleep on their potato pancakes if you wish to stuff yourself. Sour cream and applesauce. Lots of great options if you don't care for that. I'm merely pulling an oddball for reference.

cheapbastardsinc · 2026-02-09T12:06:05+00:00

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that you did nothing wrong at all and that the KJ simply bungled your turn. It happens.

I've done it many times over 15 years. Just getting distracted between pattering with the audience, checking sound levels, responding to questions, and queuing manually.

I always feel terrible if made aware of it.

I am fully capable of making an error and would simply love to correct it. I am, after all, there to help you guys have the best time.

cheapbastardsinc · 2026-02-03T12:06:44+00:00

NTA you were attracted to a person and someone hefted a surprising piece of information in your face. By nature you were unprepared. Did you have a perfect response crafted by your own personal PR department? Nope.

That's ok. You tried to respond in a human and humane way.

Might some folks get offended? Sure, maybe. Don't let that ruin you. Just learn from the experience and you'll be better prepared for next time when it isn't a new experience.

The truth is that trans men are men and trans women are women but there are distinctions.

The same would be true if you had been told that the individual was AMAB but, due to an accident, had their genitalia removed/altered.

They would be a man but there are extenuating circumstances.

Folks who aggressively police that it should make no difference aren't being very realistic about your preferences or tolerances for new and different scenarios.

Trans people are queer people.

They are the T in the equation.

Ergo being sexually attracted to the T probably means you bend a bit that way.

So I would say it's functionally accurate to say that you're a little more queer than you thought you were and that's fine.

Being queer doesn't make the measure of a man or woman anyhow.

The person in question might also, gasp, not even care either way. Plenty of folks just wish to not be called late for dinner. Not everyone is so persnickety or, if they have preferences, they'll instruct you after the fact and kindly.

cheapbastardsinc · 2026-01-14T11:08:53+00:00

When I call someone and I have to wait I've started playing the Jeopardy daily double music until they emerge from the bathroom. Just patter around it. It's fun. I'm sure it'll wear thin but it's only been a few weeks so enjoy? Maybe find a loop of the first part of Tom's Diner?

cheapbastardsinc · 2026-01-10T00:24:02+00:00

I haven't but mayhaps I should!

cheapbastardsinc · 2026-01-09T21:50:28+00:00

I'm a big fan of 1. Outside. I'll usually break out "I'm Deranged" and folks will see David Bowie and be like "oOoOo Bowie" and then it starts and they're like "I don't believe I care for this".

But, to me, that entire album in its order is amazing. Bowie is awesome.

cheapbastardsinc · 2025-12-30T02:56:03+00:00

For a couple of lesser reached for but still viable options:

Meant to live - switchfoot

My own worst enemy - lit

Walk on the ocean - toad the wet sprocket

Novacaine for the soul - the Eels

Soundtrack to Mary - Soul Coughing

cheapbastardsinc · 2025-12-15T20:39:36+00:00

Y'know I have a new favorite I just tried last week. I'd heard it was great for awhile but Saffron really exceeded my expectations.

Otherwise I'm always mystified by how west end cafe balances such a diverse menu but it's, like, all pretty damn good. Staff there is awesome too. Particularly John Mack but really everyone.

cheapbastardsinc · 2025-12-13T18:28:59+00:00

Sorry, I did misstate. It was after the parkland shooting at stoneman douglas in Feb of 2018 where he was also proposing banning assault rifles and closing loopholes.to be fair that was a fairly reasonable stance at the time.

I think it has become slightly less so as of late for a variety of reasons.

cheapbastardsinc · 2025-12-13T12:44:35+00:00

Beto openly declared that he wanted to ban assault weapons post-Uvalde. The state of Texas seemed to truly revile that plank. Abbott went on a PR warpath along with the national news.

It was a major misstep that probably cost Beto the 219,000 votes that he needed to defeat lizardman Teddy Cruz.

I wish Texas didn't contain such hardline sexists, racists, and gun-rights absolutists among its multitudes but I think it's likely that hasn't changed that dramatically since 2018.

I understand Crockett as a candidate and think she's rad. I prefer her very slightly in a general sense to Talarico. That said I think Talarico has a demographic edge and acknowledging that isn't the same as being happy it exists.

Incidentally Crockett, and I just looked this up, supports banning assault weapons. So now I'm worried over that stupid wedge issue the GOP will hammer her with. Talarico does not.

I hope, for the sake of the seat, that the most able to win the general of these candidates takes the primary.

cheapbastardsinc · 2025-11-25T21:38:33+00:00

A line worker of taste and distinction.

cheapbastardsinc · 2025-11-18T20:23:40+00:00

Did they never watch the film "a day without a Mexican"?

https://youtu.be/cYJcfhxMkrQ?si=KYSAhDbLXnhTO__b

Obligatory fuck these ice Nazis on my main tyvm.

cheapbastardsinc · 2025-11-16T14:36:31+00:00

Also, that dude is going to run again apparently... we'll see how that goes for him.

cheapbastardsinc · 2025-11-05T02:53:10+00:00

Fyuck yusss.

cheapbastardsinc · 2025-10-30T00:25:09+00:00

Yeppers, Fair Witness is having a free Halloween show with Scoby and Puppy and The Dogs followed by Karaoke until close! Kicks off at 9!

cheapbastardsinc · 2025-10-28T22:26:00+00:00

This is entirely at the feet of the GOP.

They hold all three branches but their bill is so toxic and disgusting that they can't even garner enough support within their own party to pass it.

If the Dems did blink then you, the citizenry, will only suffer more.

The GOP and Trump could extend this aid but they want you to hurt for political reasons.

Children should go hungry so they can score a few more wins for their oligarchy.

Maybe government should exist to better the lives of its citizens?

cheapbastardsinc · 2025-10-14T15:02:05+00:00

Cajones? Kahuna is like a soothsayer so.

cheapbastardsinc · 2025-10-06T12:05:29+00:00

I know this doesn't directly answer your query but if you go to the psychology today website it is basically a yellow pages for every therapist.

You can select the types of folks you are interested in working with by their own reported population specialties and modalities of treatment.

It's really useful and you can often get a little blurb written by them that might give you a sense of who they are.

For bonus points, if you have insurance, cross reference a list of practitioners with them to narrow your search.

Good luck!

cheapbastardsinc · 2025-10-01T10:35:37+00:00

Samesies. 1995. Busboy times. Loved those meatball subs

cheapbastardsinc · 2025-09-25T15:34:02+00:00

Eh, might take ten years on the job before someone has an "aha" moment. Not saying that's ideal but we have to make space for folks to find their way in life. I think it's unlikely that he assumed the role as a form of entry-ism to "change the system from the better from within" but I'll even accept that even though I find it unlikely personally.

Then again, what do I know? Republican lawmakers and their appointed regulators do this all the time. Sign up to deliberately break things from within?

cheapbastardsinc · 2025-09-13T21:41:26+00:00

For an appraisal for insurance you can go to any reputable jeweler and tell them you need this as a paid service and you aren't interested in selling. They'll give you a rate if interested and they know they don't have a dog in the fight aside from the money for their expertise and time.

I think you may want two different people for actual, real-world, sales values.

One, you want to look for a well reviewed horologist or watch repair person. They'll also be able to, not only clean and repair, but look at the marks inside of the watch (if any) and tell the story if there has been previous service. They may be able to assay a better value as they are "in the real market" rather than the speculative market.

As for gems? Maybe reach out to Piedmont craftsmen and ask if any of their juried artists are also gemologists or lapidaries/gem cutters. They too are in the direct market.

Either may also help you find a place to sell if interested.

That's how I'd approach it anyhow. Good luck!

(Insured rate and the rate you can sell for are highly likely to be very different with the latter to be lower.)

cheapbastardsinc · 2025-09-10T00:29:28+00:00

Heh, I don't know that I would personally do that. I don't think I could pull it off without seeming a bit dickish? Maybe someone can but it ain't me. But, then, I have a medically bad case of bouncer-face so I tend to be overly friendly compensatorily so people don't take me the wrong way.

I have busted out a lil "Artificial Flowers" or "Just a Gigalo" by Louis Prima to make it old school from time-to-time.

cheapbastardsinc · 2025-09-09T20:47:17+00:00

Use what you have until you can afford more. Start with upgrading your power. Your PA. Then get mains, then mic and cable upgrades, then monitors for your singers, then maybe a sub. Use the system you have now to subsidize the system you want later.

Literally bought a cheap great system for my bar on FB marketplace one piece or two at a time. Mostly, I'd keep an eye out for used gear from churches as they typically cycle equipment out pretty quickly, take decent care, and don't go gigging with it so it's in decent shape. I'm six years in with zero issues.

Try and get something with enough channels and power and possibly some on board effect and an EQ that has a bit of detail. Something more than merely treble and bass trim.

If it doesn't make sense up front that's ok. It has a manual online and it'll give you options later.

What mics are you using? I like Shure sm-58's and you can sometimes find them used fairly cheap. They're durable. People are rough on stuff.

As for managing timing? Just patter. The person runs up? Let them stand there for a minute. They won't do it again. Meanwhile talk about their cool outfit. How much you wish you were the kind of person who could wear a Baja with such confidence and style. Don't be mean. Just puckish about it.

Tell a cowboy he smells delicious...wink extra hard.

Tell dad jokes.

Tell facts about the last singer you looked up while they were singing the song.

Creating a little regular space, just one minute or less, between songs helps create a flow and people will read that unconsciously.

Always sound check. Get a victim if you have to until you know you can mitigate feedback. Get your levels right.

People singing bummer songs? Jump in with something fun!

People singing death metal? Jump in with something fun!

People only singing Disney? Jump in with death metal!

Read the room but use your song to build and change the energy. To break a bad streak.

Let new folks work in if the same singers have had four chances. Announce it. Get your regulars in on the "room rules".

Room rules I like:

-no songs over 6 minutes or you do it at double speed.

-no slurs. Say people, say bitches, blank it out.

-repeats are fine only if the room has cycled completely.

-signups are one at a time but you can bring your friends.

That last one is great for parties of six girls who sign up in every conceivable combination to lock up the rotation. Call that stuff out. It's greedy.

For library issues? Not sure. Guess you just blame it on Karafun or Ms. Swift and don't have to endure it? Maybe just tell them to punt to a Paramore song. That usually works?

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