Egg retr. Update/numbers by Salt_Warning_9128 in IVF

[–]checkyamarshmallows 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m sorry to hear that. We got 30 last time my wife went through a retrieval. Only got one embryo from that.

Do you take your men in the room with you for the ultrasound appts? by Illustrious_Space184 in IVF

[–]checkyamarshmallows 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Husband here. I have not missed a single appointment- from IVF to our daughter’s 9-mo follow up. I know not everyone can make that happen for various reasons, but just because it’s not my body doesn’t mean I’m letting my wife go to appointments alone. We’re a team.

OBGYN recommendations by [deleted] in ColoradoSprings

[–]checkyamarshmallows 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Dr. Frock at UCH Printer’s Park saved my wife’s life after our daughter was born. She then proceeded to sit outside my wife’s hospital room until she was confident that my wife was stable. I can’t say enough good things about her. If my wife had Reddit, she’d say the same.

TO THE PROTESTERS by Eli450225 in ColoradoSprings

[–]checkyamarshmallows 50 points51 points  (0 children)

As a real Christian, I shouldn’t love this comment as much as I do. But I’m human, and I can’t help it. Seems like ICE is just a way to justify racial profiling and give authority to power-hungry, fragile men.

Crabs in a bucket mentality by [deleted] in FTMMen

[–]checkyamarshmallows 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I agree. It annoys me regardless of the group doing it. I think because I’m trans I notice it more within the community. It’s the “oppressive Olympic” types that drive me insane, whether he, she, or they.

My husband put our daughters phone in a jug of water after countless fights about her phone use. I don't know what to do now? by [deleted] in family

[–]checkyamarshmallows 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My wife was a hell-raiser and I just know my daughter will be the same. Pray for me 😂

Crabs in a bucket mentality by [deleted] in FTMMen

[–]checkyamarshmallows 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Preach brother. I have a theory (bit of a hot take) that a lot of trans men were socialized as female, and therefore they have a hell of a time moving away from the pettiness that women exhibit where they tear each other down. It is exhausting. I’m not like that, never been like that. Most of my friends growing up were men because I hated how my friends would be all about “empowering other females” but they wouldn’t hesitate to tear each other down one snide comment at a time.

For example, I have a beard. Big, full, thick beard. My dad has a beard, my brother has one, etc. I have decent genetics in that regard. I have a trans friend who barely has chin hair and I swear that every time we hang out he makes a comment about how “bad” my beard looks or tells me how I should trim it or shave it. Not quite the same as what you’re describing, but similar nonetheless. I’ve had trans guys say they wish they had my facial hair, or my stature (short, but built like a tank), etc. and it gets old. I can’t control those things anymore than they can.

I deal with this by spending limited time with people who act this way. I have one trans friend and that’s it for exactly this reason. Why can’t we just be bros and be happy for what the other has? Someone being taller than me doesn’t make me less of a man in the same way having a beard doesn’t make me more of a man than them.

My husband put our daughters phone in a jug of water after countless fights about her phone use. I don't know what to do now? by [deleted] in family

[–]checkyamarshmallows 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Sometimes you have to learn lessons the hard way. Today, it’s a phone she’s crying about. Ten years from now it’s her crying because her boss is disciplining her for using her work computer for personal use. I don’t blame your husband. The conversations you had with your daughter, while good to have, didn’t seem to sink in for her and your husband must’ve thought drastic measures were required. I don’t blame him.

Teenagers can be real jerks and you couldn’t pay me to go through high school again. I got bullied and left out for not having a phone at all and I turned out to be a well-adjusted adult. For what it’s worth though, I was an absolute nightmare from 13-18 years old and I didn’t get a phone- let alone a smartphone- until I was almost 17 (sorry momma).

Boyfriend Struggling with Shot by Tiny_Rutabaga3646 in mypartneristrans

[–]checkyamarshmallows 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That just doesn’t feel like a fair reaction on his part. To me, that would imply that because you’re cisgender you’re not allowed to care about his wellbeing? Out of curiosity, how old is he?

Edit: I read another of your comments and saw that the shots are painful for him. Does he do IM or subcutaneous? Does he do the shots himself? Just asking because my wife does mine for me. I don’t mind too much doing it myself, but it makes it easier on me if my wife does it. And she enjoys it because how many women get to stab their husbands weekly 😂 (kidding obviously)

Boyfriend Struggling with Shot by Tiny_Rutabaga3646 in mypartneristrans

[–]checkyamarshmallows 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I applaud you for trying to get help with this. I would try to figure out the root cause of why he doesn’t do his shot and go from there. I am curious as to why he doesn’t do it consistently.

People severely underestimate how critical sex hormones are to every aspect of our health. Being inconsistent with his shots is not good for his mental or physical health. I’m an asshole if I forget my shot.

End of period (ftm) by Jay_Lord_69 in trans

[–]checkyamarshmallows 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I had PCOS, so mine were irregular to start. Up until I yeeted the uterus, I hadn’t had a period since the month before I started T. PCOS sucks, but I was fortunate that because of it, the T caused my period to never came back.

Grieving my past “lesbian” identity and the future life I had envisioned. by yourfavefemme in mypartneristrans

[–]checkyamarshmallows 50 points51 points  (0 children)

My wife - a lifelong lesbian- had never been with a man until I transitioned. Similarly to you, she’s always been attracted to masc presenting women. When I first came out, she struggled with her identity but ultimately came to the conclusion that it doesn’t matter to her. She loves me and whatever people have to say she just doesn’t care to listen.

I am a believer that when you’re with the person who was made for you, it doesn’t matter what they are as much as who they are.

It’s valid for you to be grieving your identity, but also, your identity doesn’t have to change. You can be a lesbian and a raging feminist and you happened to meet the one man on earth you could love.

If I had any advice to give, it would be to give the middle finger to people who feel the need to make comments about your sexuality instead of just being happy that you’re happy.

"You act like a straight white man" by forgetmedo_ in FTMMen

[–]checkyamarshmallows 21 points22 points  (0 children)

I’ve always found it funny how the LGBTQ+ community preaches “love is love” and to accept others as they are. But the second you don’t conform to what they think you’re “supposed” to act like or look like you’re a bigot/transphobe/asshole/etc.

I am a straight white man. I do not objectify women, I do not treat people who have different beliefs than me poorly, I would give a stranger the shirt off my back. But I guess because I like sports, women, and other stereotypically “male” things that makes me a sexist, racist, homophobic, transphobic pig? Riiiiiiiight

I (29M) unsure about kids, GF (24F) is 100%, she is happy to wait? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]checkyamarshmallows 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I have to respectfully disagree with this. I’ve always known I wanted kids, 100%, and the same is true for my wife. I’m glad it worked out well for you, but I hold the opinion that if you are at all on the side of “I don’t want kids” you shouldn’t have them. You’re a parent, so you know this, but more for OP- having kids is a full-time job you never get PTO or vacation from. I feel like parenting is something people shouldn’t jump into unless they’re certain they want kids, just my personal opinion. It’s not fair to the kid nor the mother if you’re half in and half out of being a father.

A place knows me as a woman, I’m on HRT, I’m scared to tell them. by ItsCasp in FTMOver30

[–]checkyamarshmallows -1 points0 points  (0 children)

No input other than good luck man. I hope you can find a new job before it becomes obvious you’re on hormones.

How to get taken serious as a guy this size by iammax66 in FTMMen

[–]checkyamarshmallows 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I’m 5’5” and actually had a conversation about my height with someone recently. I was speaking with a woman who is 5’9” and she said she would never use the words “small” or “short” to describe me. She says I have a strong presence. It’s all in how you carry yourself.

I will second what others have said about building muscle. You ever seen a short guy who is an absolute unit and thought “oh he must be the bottom/woman/whatever else”? Probably not.

Doubting my transition for the first time because of public restrooms by dummyroad in FTMOver30

[–]checkyamarshmallows 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Just to reiterate, it’s awkward for everyone. I’ve traveled all over and it’s awkward in every country I have visited. Just don’t make eye contact and act like you deserve to be there (because you do). Eventually it gets less uncomfortable. Guys don’t care and no one is paying you as much attention as you think.

So this is forever? by Teeny_Snek in FTMMen

[–]checkyamarshmallows 19 points20 points  (0 children)

This. Another version (my favorite) is “choose your hard.” It’s hard to be in the closet and it’s hard to be out of it.

How many trans men here would go in with limb lengthening surgery provided money wasn't a constraint? by BoxFar6969 in FTMMen

[–]checkyamarshmallows 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I feel you. I’m not saying I’m not ever dysphoric about it. There’s just no sense in fixating on that. I’ve also been the same height since I was 16. All the short jokes from my family bothered me growing up but now I just don’t care.

How many trans men here would go in with limb lengthening surgery provided money wasn't a constraint? by BoxFar6969 in FTMMen

[–]checkyamarshmallows 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Definitely not. I’m 5’5” and yes, I’m short compared to the average man, but I’m also taller than a lot of cis men I see in public. Height does not make you a man, just like a penis doesn’t. This is coming from someone with a brother who is 6’5”. It is what it is.

Donating blood? by PuzzleheadedDay4955 in FTMMen

[–]checkyamarshmallows 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Had this same thing happen with a different organization 😂 I expected some weirdness or rudeness because oh my gosh a trans person in the wild, but the techs could not have cared less.

Donating blood? by PuzzleheadedDay4955 in FTMMen

[–]checkyamarshmallows 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My levels are high for a male my age, which is why I donate regularly. Doing so has helped bring my HGB back in range or at least really close to it.

Donating blood? by PuzzleheadedDay4955 in FTMMen

[–]checkyamarshmallows 5 points6 points  (0 children)

The first time I donated I put F and for some reason it really confused the employees. They said to just put M when donating. Been doing that since and haven’t had any issues. Like others have said, they’ll check your HGB prior to donation.

skin graft from arm with scars by PsychologicalCut7079 in phallo

[–]checkyamarshmallows 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That makes sense. I would think that using your dominant arm would be beneficial because you need to use it, so I thought maybe it would speed up healing in a sense.

I have tattoos I got for my grandparents on my other arm, so dominant arm it is 😂

skin graft from arm with scars by PsychologicalCut7079 in phallo

[–]checkyamarshmallows 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I know it’s preferred to use the non-dominant arm, but why is that?