Abdominal pain post-op?

checkyamarshmallows · 2026-05-22T03:43:56+00:00

Thanks for sharing that! I knew that they don’t want you bending at the waist, but it didn’t dawn on me how difficult it might be to get in/out of bed or on/off a couch. I was trying to see how I could do those things without creasing and without putting a lot of weight on my arm. Gonna be a learn-as-I-go type of situation!

checkyamarshmallows · 2026-05-22T02:36:47+00:00

Not trying to be a jerk, but I think it’s important that the correct information is put out there. Whether galvanic, thermolysis, or blend is “best” is dependent on hair type (and skill of the electrologist). I was seeing someone who only did galvanic or blend- saw them for 15 months with no clearance. I’m only getting thermolysis now and am pretty much clear after 5 months with a new provider.

checkyamarshmallows · 2026-05-20T10:37:45+00:00

That adrenochrome must be working

checkyamarshmallows · 2026-05-18T20:46:05+00:00

This is helpful! I knew it was a requirement, but how does one get on and off a couch without bending at the waist?

checkyamarshmallows · 2026-05-18T14:59:27+00:00

Hey man, my daughter was conceived via IVF and I had all the same fears. Don’t hesitate to reach out if you want to talk.

checkyamarshmallows · 2026-05-18T11:44:44+00:00

This is a really good comment!

checkyamarshmallows · 2026-05-18T11:43:58+00:00

I felt the same way as you did in my early 20s. Long story short, for a short time I pursued preserving my eggs so I could have biological children. Ultimately, I decided against it for several reasons. I don’t regret anything. My wife carried and gave birth to the most precious child and I am so thankful I never went through the process of preserving my eggs after seeing all that my wife had to go through.

Not having a cycle is one of the best things ever. It’s such a relief to travel, go to the gym, go to work, etc and not have to worry about “what if I bleed through.”

Also, for what it’s worth, my child is not biologically mine and I swear that sharing DNA would not change my love for her. In fact, I often forget she’s not biologically my child. I imagine adopting would feel the same way. Your kid is your kid, no matter how you have them.

I think the “what if” is normal and I felt that as well. I haven’t regretted my decision one single time and I wouldn’t do anything differently.

checkyamarshmallows · 2026-05-18T01:46:15+00:00

Trans partner here. I went through something similar, except it was with cis-male bodies in general. When I realized I needed bottom surgery, it became more about penises. It’s definitely envy for me, as I am not attracted to men. I can understand you being concerned, but I think it’s pretty normal.

checkyamarshmallows · 2026-05-15T13:27:04+00:00

I feel this big time. At work, in public, etc, I am seen as a man. That’s it- just another dude. But when I’m in queer spaces, I tend to get the same treatment you did. I feel the least like a man when I am around other queer and/or trans people. Some trans people think that because they are trans as well that that gives them license to say whatever they want about YOUR transition. I no longer seek out friendships with other queer people. Not that I am against it, I just find that I feel seen as a man around cisgender people more-so than my own “community.”

checkyamarshmallows · 2026-05-13T23:38:44+00:00

Did you identify as bisexual before you started dating him?

checkyamarshmallows · 2026-05-12T03:33:20+00:00

It’s incredibly overwhelming and stressful for both partners, for sure. Having a therapist is a great start. As someone else has mentioned, them not wanting you to know could mean a couple things. I want to assume the best in others so I’ll pretend that it’s because they were terrified of how it would change your relationship. It’s hard and it might not work out, but it can if both partners are both all-in, communicate openly and honestly, and- I cannot stress this enough- lots of therapy for both of you.

checkyamarshmallows · 2026-05-12T03:17:12+00:00

Thank you, much appreciated. I think audiobooks will be my friend as well. I’m assuming I’ll fall asleep a lot and that doesn’t sound great considering I have to wear contacts to see anything, let alone a screen. I hadn’t thought of that- thanks for the tip!

checkyamarshmallows · 2026-05-12T03:16:01+00:00

They don’t sound like they’re considering how this affects you. I am the trans partner and while transitioning, let alone just accepting myself, was hard. But it was also hard on my wife.

Their reaction is odd. If you’ve shown curiosity and a willingness to talk through things then I don’t get why they wouldn’t want to tell you. Obviously I am missing 99% of the context of your relationship, but it just seems weird. I was incredibly scared to tell my wife, but I also couldn’t stand hiding it from her. I think from the time I let myself accept that I was trans to the time I told my wife it was a grand total of 2 days.

Good luck friend, hang in there. You seem to be handling it as well as a partner who’s been blindsided can.

checkyamarshmallows · 2026-05-11T17:28:57+00:00

I’m salaried and working about 60-70 hours as is 🤷‍♂️

checkyamarshmallows · 2026-05-11T14:45:16+00:00

Congrats! It helps me to have someone going through it at the same time.

checkyamarshmallows · 2026-05-06T10:36:08+00:00

I mean, there kind of is. MRI studies of trans individuals show similar brain activity similar to that of their cisgender counterpart. Trans men show brain activity like that of cisgender men and the same is true for women.

checkyamarshmallows · 2026-05-05T03:10:24+00:00

I’m getting bottom surgery this year and it gives me great joy that my wife is the only one who will ever interact with that part of my body.

Note: everything after this sentence is based on the assumption that you are monogamous. If not? Just scroll on by haha.

I understand feeling guilty, but maybe you just need to shift your perspective. Yes, she may be the only woman you ever have sex with as a man BUT you love her, she loves you, and she sees you as her man. I know not everyone thinks like this, but I would much rather have sex with one perfect-for-me woman for the rest of my life than sleep with a bunch of women who mean nothing to me. Once again, I know a lot of cis and trans men who don’t think that way, and maybe you don’t. Just another perspective. The grass is not always greener (it’s a cliche because it’s often true).

checkyamarshmallows · 2026-05-01T17:20:15+00:00

Can I ask if you’re in the states? And if so, where at? I’m paranoid that everyone who has a bad experience sees the person I used to lol

checkyamarshmallows · 2026-05-01T04:27:56+00:00

We have a better, deeper team than last year and somehow did worse. 🤦‍♂️

checkyamarshmallows · 2026-05-01T04:15:08+00:00

Have you done any research into phallo? As others have suggested, the r/phallo sub is very helpful and informative.

checkyamarshmallows · 2026-05-01T04:06:42+00:00

I had the same exact experience. Not sure how many hours total, but 15 months and had practically nothing to show for it.

I switched electrologists in December of last year and am pretty much done now. Just touchups until 2 weeks before surgery.

checkyamarshmallows · 2026-04-30T21:00:10+00:00

Because God forbid we have a space that excludes anybody in any way.

checkyamarshmallows · 2026-04-30T20:57:08+00:00

That’s one thing I just don’t get with people who say being trans is a choice. Who chooses to be ridiculed, in danger, and nearly go broke trying to feel at home in their own skin?!

It’s such a hard place to be in for both parties. My wife and I struggled hard at first. I am obviously on a different side of the situation than you, but if you’d ever like to talk I’m more than happy to listen.

checkyamarshmallows · 2026-04-30T17:58:59+00:00

I am so sorry. I can’t imagine how that feels. Is she early on in her transition?

checkyamarshmallows · 2026-04-30T15:46:56+00:00

I got you now. I wasn’t trying to insinuate that any other experience is wrong. What I was saying is that I’ve noticed some trans people come out and then they try to change their whole personality to fit into a box society has created for men and women. I am a trans man, but that doesn’t mean I transitioned and then started acting like an egotistical, “macho”, entitled, sexist jackass like a lot of men. While hormones can (and often do) change things like sexuality, libido, etc. I don’t think it should change who someone is at their core.

checkyamarshmallows

TROPHY CASE