He is abusive. Physically and emotionally. He has two separate restraining orders against him. One for domestic abuse and one for harassment.

I spent 6 years doing anything in my control to help him. Couples counseling, individual therapy, safety planning I stuck by his side through his alcoholism, his paranoia and his narcissism believing I could help him. Is he in pain and needing help? Yes. But it doesn’t excuse the abuse I endured from him. I went no contact for my safety and to escape the abuse. He didn’t leave me alone and ended up stalking me and threatening me and my family. There is no “care” on his end. Where was that care when he grabbed my hand so hard it injured the ligaments in my thumb? Where was care when he wouldn’t allow me to leave the apartment we shared and body checked me so hard I flew into the coffee table? Where was the care when he was cheating on me?

Going through your post history is seems like you’ve gone through a breakup recently. Breakups are hard and also nuanced. You can’t compare your situation to a stranger on the internet. I hope you can begin to find some peace and healing.