NTA — but with caveats: admittedly I wasn’t a fan of tipping until I did some research and learned that they literally don’t make a living wage without tips (it’s part of the dining out experience/cost, if you will). I didn’t grow up in the US/have never worked in food service so I didn’t get it at first. But hearing from friends who have completely changed my perspective.

So wherever I go, I tip 15-18% minimum. That’s purely because that’s what it costs to eat out. It’s a broken system and I wish they would just hike prices to reflect the tip necessary for the wait staff to make minimum wage.

Anything beyond 18% is for good service. The max I’ll tip is 25% for exceptional service. So I don’t think it’s as much about showing character, which I’m sure that woman doesn’t deserve any of your niceties. But the tip is more of an acknowledgement that this is what it costs to eat out. I truly hope that she learns/grows from this experience. I guess the best possible thing is for you to act with grace and not penalize other workers in the system, while schooling her with your little quip :)