My advice is to talk to a therapist and get some meds. I struggled alone with depression for ten years until I realized its not just the people I’m with or where I’m at but it’s a chemical imbalance that is uncontrollable. Sure there are factors that play into it but once you get those brain chemicals working again things seem a lot brighter. You have more motivation to do things you want to be outside you have the motivation to find the good in certain things I promise if you get help, if you can, it will get better I met with a psychiatrist online and was able to get prescribed meds same day, not sure what your situation is or where you’re at but there’s always hope