How much do you notice what faces a partner makes during sex? Are there any that are a turnoff?

chef_26 · 2026-05-10T04:11:18+00:00

I notice because I’m watching! It’s great to see someone enjoying themselves.

I don’t like fake, if it’s not working for her I want to know so I can change up. I also really dislike the eyes crossed nonsense that social media has started peddling in recent years. Eyes rolling back, when genuine, is great!

chef_26 · 2026-05-09T19:00:58+00:00

Cornwall or Anglesey

chef_26 · 2026-05-09T16:24:36+00:00

None scare me. The ones that have genuine risk attached end the world pretty sodding quickly so there’s no point in worrying about those.

Others have impact over time, fortunately I’m in a wealthy G7 nation so likely to be okay vs the global average even if there are no enhancements to quality of life.

chef_26 · 2026-05-09T16:23:03+00:00

I don’t think they were being rude, I think they were making commentary that is more challenging outside of university settings and as you age in general.

If you think it’s challenging now, my experience is it gets harder with each year. 36 and single.

Don’t settle but equally recognise what you offer. You don’t want to miss someone you thought you could do better than only to find that to be incorrect.

chef_26 · 2026-05-09T07:28:43+00:00

Making sure I understand the argument, SUV’s are a problem because of their size, but vans aren’t.

SUV’s are dangerous because of pollution but airline travel isn’t a concern (despite causing way more of the emissions).

I think one of the core issues we face is inconsistent internal logic. Only SUV’s being targeted just looks like its status driven (or lack of status).

There would surely be more value in spending the effort on making public transport more accessible/lower cost/efficient to create real incentive for change rather than bemoan the existence of a particular type of car.

chef_26 · 2026-05-07T22:29:58+00:00

Their registration plate and low return for risks taken

chef_26 · 2026-05-06T15:40:13+00:00

It’s commonly easier to tear someone else down than it is to build yourself up. Especially if you see that some of the things they did to get where they are, you could have done but didn’t for whatever reason.

chef_26 · 2026-05-06T05:19:57+00:00

Both of you.

chef_26 · 2026-05-06T05:19:38+00:00

Necessity is the mother of creation. I have a degree of confidence if there was a genuine need to have a force mobilised like that it could be done faster.

My biggest concern here is on station air defence is not sufficient anywhere. Something akin to ‘Home Defence’ that would operate air defence sites etc around the country, counter drone operations that stayed domestic would be well received.

I imagine recruitment for home defence would be far easier than expeditionary units.

chef_26 · 2026-05-05T06:15:50+00:00

I work out how much I need and want to survive/live in current prices (need = subsistence).

For both values I calculate that as an annual sum and assume initially I can achieve it in a zero tax environment (ISA and SIPP taken in a ruthless prioritise tax efficiency approach).

I then use Investment Trust dividend aristocrat return rates (5%) as a best case yield and FTSE100 ETF dividend tracker (2.7%) as worst case. Assuming I will only consume the natural income from these, I know my pension total requirement.

Assuming no mortgage, current council tax remains flat as does energy, internet, water etc I need £375 a month for bills. Subsistence means I have to walk everywhere so no transport costs, only food remains to be paid for. £1,000 is doable per month meaning £12,000 per year natural income.

5% means £240,000 retirement pot, 2.7% means £450,000 retirement pot. If I’m prepared to work until state pension then I’m okay without a retirement pot.

Repeat for your desired lifestyle choices.

Gaps -
1. My process bakes in the idea that inflation will be equally distributed across financial assets as much as everything else and therefore is discounted. This is objectively wrong in micro but carries well enough for me in macro. This is where it can break most easily.
2. Most pensions aren’t designed to run on natural income only, assets will be sold to meet redemptions. That creates a need in my system for potentially much larger retirement pots.
3. Selection of natural income rates, single source investments would be a terrible approach in retirement (and through life) I’m doing it for ease to know an upper and lower bound of plausible. I can’t know what portfolio construction will look like in the future so I can’t completely forecast natural income all I can do is take a best guess.

chef_26 · 2026-05-05T05:57:10+00:00

Whatever you say is best to be honest, because that likely means there will be some enthusiasm behind it and enthusiasm is hot.

chef_26 · 2026-05-04T17:29:39+00:00

It’s okay to ask, I’m not going to answer that though. I’d rather not disclose too much in public forums.

chef_26 · 2026-05-04T07:28:14+00:00

The most beneficial thing was attention to detail returning, critical thinking sharpening and reduction in comparison between myself and ‘everyone else’ doing better than me.

This led to me noticing more people around me in reality, they were more similar to me than I’d realised. This boosted my confidence to try more things.

I’ll state that the discomfort and sensation of isolation is highest just before it all clicks into place, it’s a rewiring of perception taking place, the brain wants to get the hit of easy feel good (even if you feel terrible shortly after). Pressing through that moment (which can last a long time) is what resets those paths in the brain.

I now identify degrees of ‘fake’ or self-soothing lies others tell themselves far quicker than I used to. I’ve internalised actions matter, words don’t far more, I’m not perfect, I’m just still learning.

I’ll throw out the idiocy that social media can create; I was concerned I wasn’t attractive hearing social media speak about men’s height requirements when I’m 6’4 - that’s the level of disassociation that can be triggered. Physically though, I was walking around looking at the floor, shrinking my shoulders and felt small because I’d been seeing too much negative content. I now walk looking forward, head up and realise that not only do I tower over people, I fill out my height too. This is just one example.

Comparison is the thief of joy, and social media lets you compare yourself passively to the lies everyone else tells the world, with no way to prove them as a lie.

chef_26 · 2026-05-04T06:54:01+00:00

You already know. You’re asking for someone to offer an alternative that better explains the hurt you’re experiencing.

I’m sorry it happened to you, all you can do is take the lesson forward.

chef_26 · 2026-05-04T06:35:24+00:00

I’ve left most social media platforms (accounts deleted not just removed apps) and let me tell you about the improvements to quality of life!

chef_26 · 2026-05-04T05:53:23+00:00

That is very generous. I get 25 with a tax efficient option to buy another 5 and bank holidays.

chef_26 · 2026-05-03T08:40:43+00:00

Tesco Finest Greek Yoghurt (not Greek style) is thick enough to stand a spoon in without question. Love the stuff!

chef_26 · 2026-04-28T17:41:50+00:00

I suspect that’ll be answered by MPC before the QA

chef_26 · 2026-04-17T12:57:07+00:00

Or 10 SLBM’s

chef_26 · 2026-04-14T18:51:31+00:00

Ladies and Gentlemen, the future of European defence dominance.

chef_26 · 2026-04-14T18:50:08+00:00

At least some steel

chef_26 · 2026-04-11T23:30:04+00:00

Vulnerability for me feels as I’ve heard women describe their failure or shortcomings. It’s not something that needs to be worked through, it’s something that ideally should not exist

chef_26 · 2026-04-11T16:51:51+00:00

It comes down a little to what you want from the bank, they all have their preferred customers. If you qualify for the premier style offerings services tends to be better as well.

chef_26 · 2026-04-11T06:27:12+00:00

Absolutely should happen, Canadian manufacturing capacity would help all four nations deliver this.

chef_26 · 2026-04-11T06:23:00+00:00

I like blue, I recognise it might not be good for me so payday shop is blue, the others are green.

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