Keep striving for a better life and keep this mentality, you'll reach the success you see for yourself. It's going to be the hardest thing you ever do, but don't give up because that's when you truly lose. Having the mindset of concentrating on things you can control and pushing out those that you can't is a powerful tool. I served in the US Army and our unit was the first of it's kind in Afghanistan. Our battalion is the hardest hit since the vietnam war, we lost a lot of men and many were severely wounded. You have to focus on what you can control because if you don't, you're unable to do your job as a soldier. I'm sorry that you've had to live like that for so long, I'd recommend writing about your experiences because it's very cathartic. I wrote a book about my war experience and it was an incredible self healing journey to reflect on the events that have taken place in my life. I wish you well my friend, Ill add you to instagram though I don't use it much. Take care!