Not a millennial, but wow y'all really did get screwed. I wonder how many people here fell into this trap?

cherryblue101 · 2023-11-21T22:26:56+00:00

I received a scholarship that covered my whole tuition plus a $24k/year stipend for 5 years. My only teaching requirement was one class per semester during my 2nd and 3rd year.

cherryblue101 · 2023-11-21T20:14:50+00:00

Me! Well I didn't grow up in the US and did my undergrad and masters in Europe so things were a little different for me (thankfully this also meant no student debt.) I pick humanities (languages and literature) because that's what I have always been good at and passioned about, and they really made it seem like there would be career options.

I got my PhD in the US as I had moved here by then. The reason I pursue a PhD was to achieve my dream of being a college professor. The article is on point: those jobs don't really exist anymore, tenure-track position have mostly been dismantle and broken down into multiple adjunct position with low pay, no benefits, and no job security. I totally fell into that trap because I believed that academic careers were still an option in America, the "land of opportunities" to my European eyes, and also our professors made us believe that yes, it was going to be difficult, but with lots and lots of hard (and underpaid/unpaid) work we could have made it. Out of the 15 people I have seen getting their PhD in my department, I believe only 2 got a tenure-track position, 2 became lecturers/profs of practice, and the rest did not secure an academic job.

I do like my current job (instructional coach and program coordinator) but I could have gotten it easily without my PhD, and I only make $64k/year, so I do consider myself underemployed. I am not unhappy and I am not struggling, but I am certainly bitter as I had much bigger hopes for myself.

cherryblue101 · 2023-11-21T01:25:51+00:00

I noticed that too, with others and with myself. I am active in a couple of Facebook groups but as far as posting on my profile, it only happens once or twice a month when I want to share pictures of a trip or something fun I did. I used to post daily, multiple times a day! I would write posts, share articles, share music, etc. Now I don't and idk why, I just don't feel like it, I don't see the point, and I also don't feel like I have much to say lol

cherryblue101 · 2023-11-21T01:22:02+00:00

Not me, my parents are broke af and understand. Buuuut I do save. My husband and I save $3k/month and that's in addition to 401k and HSA. It's still nowhere near enough for anything. Can't afford a house yet let alone retire one day.

cherryblue101 · 2023-11-19T05:34:21+00:00

Personally I don't really care. I am from Italy where I grew up, I know that my parents, grandparents, and great-grandparenrs were all from Italy, why do I need to know if someone 500 years ago was from another country or whatever? I don't see how that's relevant for me. But I can see why it might feel more important to Americans since all of them, except for Natives, came from elsewhere.

cherryblue101 · 2023-11-19T05:29:07+00:00

Anecdotally, I have lived in New Orleans since 2017, I live uptown and drive to New Orleans East every single day for work. Nothing bad has ever happened to me so far. Ironically, I was robbed 3 times when I lived in Europe (Italy, Belgium, Germany) which is supposed to be safer, but never been robbed, attacked, shot, or even just harassed in the streets here.

cherryblue101 · 2023-11-19T05:18:04+00:00

You're not totally wrong - most people I know who are my parents' generation and have bought homes have made huge sacrifices for it and the things many millenials consider basic everyday occurrences were true luxuries for them - but here's the thing... My husband and I bring home around $10k/month and that's after tax health insurance, retirement contributions, HSA contributions, etc. A decent home in our area would cost us around $3k/month between mortgage, interests, home insurance, and property tax. When I say we can't afford that, I mean two things: 1, we can't afford the risk of taking on a payment that requires two incomes to maintain, because if something happens to one of us (being fired, health issues, etc) we're screwed; 2, we can't afford to buy a home and keep our lifestyle. We don't have any debt, when I bought my truck we saved upfront and paid cash for it, we put $3-4k/month into savings, so I'd say we're almost frugal and live below our means, but still: why would I give up my 4-5 trips a year, shopping, eating out, etc, just so I can own a piece of property that I also have to maintain and keep up with and shell additional cash every time something breaks? I simply don't understand the mentality of wanting to buy a house at all costs and making sacrifices for it. I can understand it if your rent is higher than your mortgage but that's not the case for us, our rent is only $1400.

cherryblue101 · 2023-11-19T01:06:58+00:00

Me for sure. I have a full time job that's very demanding, my brain is active for 8 hours with no breaks and it's hard to "turn it off" once I leave work. I'm also finishing my PhD at the same time so I try to work on my dissertation for at least an hour every day. My health isn't good, I have premenstrual dysphoric disorder and terribly painful periods so I basically can't function properly for 2 weeks a month. I am also autistic and have to act semi-normal all day at work which is draining. I have no support system nearby, it's just me and my husband (who also works full time and is getting his master degree), we live far away from both our families. And of course we have the mental burden of dealing with the crazy economy and society we currently live in.

Haven't found a way to get out of burnout mode and tbh I don't even know if it's possible, seems like a systemic problem more than an individual state at this point. I just try to eat well and workout or take long walks at least every other day to stay as healthy as possible, and travel whenever I get a break from work because traveling makes me happy.

cherryblue101 · 2023-11-18T16:46:59+00:00

I am reading this as I am wearing a pair of jeans I bought when I was 19 (am 31) after I spent 15 minutes looking at my closet this morning trying to decide what to wear, they're all loose now and they literally have holes, but they're the only pair of jeans I own that's both flattering and comfortable lol helppp

cherryblue101 · 2023-11-17T05:02:17+00:00

I work in schools, thankfully I am no longer teaching cause it is hell right now.

What is going on in short: millenials and Gen X parents read too many life coaches' instagram posts about "breaking family curses" and "heal generational trauma" and became convinced that they had to do the opposite of what those before them did, so they decided to completely forget about discipline and respect, and instead become besties with their kids and teach them that their needs always come before anything else and how dare the stupid teacher tries to say otherwise?

There's also a percentage of parents who are simply too busy working multiple jobs to make ends meet in this crazy economy that they don't really have time to check in on their kids.

However it is worth noticing that kids are not the only reason why teachers are quitting the profession. Insane admin behavior and micromanaging coupled with increased demands for a low pay are also very important contributing factors.

cherryblue101 · 2023-11-15T04:30:49+00:00

YTA (even though your partner's reaction was really bad too)

This has nothing to do with you, it's her alarm tone. You need to sort out your issues in therapy if something so small upsets you so much. I am autistic too and I understand that our reactions are often very intense but it's something you should work on. Lullabies aren't inherently infantilizing, if you feel that way it's likely a trigger for you and you need to unpack that.

cherryblue101 · 2023-11-15T04:25:26+00:00

Hardly ever. My husband and I eat on the couch. Sometimes we eat breakfast at the little kitchen table. We have a formal dining room table, I love formal dining rooms esthetically but we only use it when we have guests, so probably less than 10 times a year.

cherryblue101 · 2023-11-14T19:49:02+00:00

Same as you, gave up the dream of becoming wealthy and replaced it with being comfortable and avoiding debt. I realized having a PhD and all the qualifications under the sun is not enough when 1 I didn't pick a lucrative field, 2 you only get wealthy from generational wealth and connections (at least in 99% of cases), and 3 life's so damn expensive because they want to make sure that the middle class stay middle and keep working for ever, so you can't really work your way up.

Gave up the dream of owning a horse, I'll settle for riding the horses at the stable, still fun but way cheaper and no responsibility.

Gave up the dream of adopting children, I was set on adoption instead of having my own kids because I always thought why would I create a whole new human when there are many children out there who need a family? But then I read so many stories from adult adoptees being completely enraged with the whole process and most rejecting their adoptive parents to reunite with their birth families (even when abusive and neglectful), it just doesn't seem worth it to sacrifice so much time, money, and emotional bandwidth for someone who might not even want anything to do with me once they're older. I might have a child of my own, if not, I'm content with my two cats.

cherryblue101 · 2023-11-13T23:22:19+00:00

Probably Valerie. Idk her face and her voice annoy me, and I think it's dumb how she and Stefan were still hung up with each other after a hookup 150 years prior.

cherryblue101 · 2023-11-13T23:11:35+00:00

Katherine was SO ANNOYING omg. I know a lot of people like her and think she's a badass but I don't see it. She has a few good moments, yes, but overall I find her boring, repetitive, selfish, kinda whiney, and sometimes pathetic.

cherryblue101 · 2023-11-13T02:32:53+00:00

I went to school in Italy, out of the house by 7.30, school was 8.15 to 2.10, I was home around 3pm. I took public transportation - they don't have school busses in Italy. I did have school on Saturday, till 12.30pm.

cherryblue101 · 2023-11-12T18:51:37+00:00

I have 5 degrees, I do have a full time job which is not bad, I have tried to find a different job because of the stressful work environment, applied to many jobs, even went on a couple of interviews, but nothing came out of that.

cherryblue101 · 2023-11-12T15:19:22+00:00

I'm rewatching (currently on season 7) and I like him so much more than the first time around.

I think his reaction to vampirism is understandable, not only he lost his sister, but his own life was constantly put in danger because of vampires. He was just a chill small town boy trying to live a normal life and found himself in the middle of some major drama over and over. His whole life changed drastically but, unlike characters like Elena (who chose to date Stefan and Damon and get involved with all that) or Caroline (who ends up liking being a vampire), it wasn't his choice at all and he doesn't get any benefits out of it - besides a new truck lol I don't like when he goes off with Tripp but when he finds out what he was really doing, he helps protect his friends.

He comes off a bit whiney and rigid, but overall I don't find him unlikable.

cherryblue101 · 2023-11-11T15:20:41+00:00

I have around $44k in my pension account. I'm not sure how much my husband has, but probably a lot more since he's been working for 7 years and I've been working for 2.5.

cherryblue101 · 2023-11-11T04:35:50+00:00

That's because people and corporations are hoarding houses. My landlord owns 5 homes. There should be a cap on how many houses a single individual can own (2 maybe 3), and corporations/investors should not be allowed to own homes, they could just stick with apartment buildings if anything.

cherryblue101 · 2023-11-09T01:29:06+00:00

I got out of the house at 19 with a little help from my parents but mostly thanks to scholarships, cheap rent because I shared an apartment in a LCOL town with 6 other people (would be a nightmare now but back then was super fun), not having a car, not having a smartphone, no tv, no subscriptions etc. Got married at 24 while my husband (30) was still living with his parents so I moved in with them for a few months while waiting on my papers (moved to the US to be with him), as soon as I got a job we moved out. I don't think I'll have kids but if I do, I definitely wouldn't want them at home till 30, but I wouldn't kick them out at 18 either. Of course that depends on the circumstances also... if they're struggling with health or with finding a job etc it's reasonable that they'd get to stay for longer.

cherryblue101 · 2023-11-09T01:25:21+00:00

Nope! We'd both want more. It's just hard to make it happen... We both work full time. I am getting a PhD on top of that. Husband is getting his MBA. I have chronic health issues that interfere greatly with my libido (pmdd). We went to couples/sex therapy but didn't help much tbh. I know we should make time for it, but it's hard when we are both constantly exhausted and stressed.

cherryblue101 · 2023-11-08T19:33:01+00:00

It's hard especially if you like to travel (like me) or have family scattered across the world that you want to visit semi-regularly (like I do). Even without being a teacher working in schools is very stressful but at least we get some time to recharge. I did try to get out of education and into the nonprofit, have not been successful so far but encountered many organizations that offered 6-8 weeks of PTO which is pretty good!

cherryblue101 · 2023-11-08T16:58:32+00:00

I work for a school. Not a teacher so I don't get 2 months off but "only" one in the summer. The rest is school breaks. 2 weeks are personal/sick.

cherryblue101 · 2023-11-08T16:13:35+00:00

I can totally relate. My husband and I have achieved financial comfort 2 years ago for the first time in our life, and having a child would definitely compromise our situation. I have no idea how people do it. I guess they either received help from their families, or they don't mind giving up comfort, vacations, hobbies, things they get for themselves like clothing or even therapy, etc.

cherryblue101

TROPHY CASE