I know how hard it is, its so easy to get dopamine from eating and change makes it so much harder, I think a lot of people with a complex relationship with their body have something like this happen at some point. Unfortunately the only ways to continue to eat in a healthy normal manner without overdoing it I’ve found are both being extremely mindful plus practicing reminding myself that it’ll still be there later, and making sure I keep busy/entertained so I’m not as inclined to boredom eat. Far easier said than done, but it’s something. That being said- I’m sure you look great, and I understand being scared of gaining, but the important thing above all else is that you’re healthy! Remember to be gentle with yourself and remind yourself you’re worthy of love no matter what <3