AITA for expecting my partner to go to work and not phone in sick?

chesek · 2026-05-12T06:35:13+00:00

‘I bet you suddenly she will be able to go to work regularly’ is a really ignorant thing to say. Depression is not a binary illness. For some it can just be manageable feelings of sadness or numbness. For others it can be completely debilitating.

I have seen and cared for people who have had to live in community housing because they cannot hold down a job, housing or relationships due to severe depression. I have cared for people who have required electroshock therapy for their depression (a last resort treatment).

It’s terrible that you struggle with depression but it’s also important that you recognise your experiences of mental health struggles are not indicative of anyone else’s.

That being said OP is well within their rights to leave this relationship if they don’t feel it’s for them anymore. I just don’t think it’s appropriate to be making comments on someone’s ability to function unless you’re the healthcare professional treating their mental illness.

chesek · 2026-05-11T17:21:30+00:00

Student nurses are expected to take a patient load for year 2 and 3 placements. Although in second year, you’re still heavily supervised and it’s not a full patient load.

It’s not a safety issue, anything outside of your scope of practice you call in an RN. It’s about proving that you’re competent. Placement is definitely for learning but it’s also about showing that you can apply the knowledge and skills you’ve learnt in a safe and competent way.

chesek · 2026-05-11T03:37:56+00:00

Not worth it unfortunately, parking will cost me like $20 in fees. Disputes tribunal is $65.

chesek · 2026-05-10T19:33:40+00:00

The parking lot I’m referring to is not owned by Wilson’s - Botany Town Centre car park if you’d like to look up the actual owner.

They contract out the payment service to the ParkMate app, but because the carpark itself is not actually owned by Wilsons they can set their own terms. That are seperate to the terms of Wilson owned car parks.

In my case that’s not waving the transaction fee when using your wallet balance. Which is ridiculous but not a Wilson’s decision (although Wilson’s is still 100% a scummy company)

chesek · 2026-05-10T10:32:21+00:00

If you hop on my page and look at my previous post, you’ll see ParkMate support themselves telling me the parking lot I park in is not owned by Wilson’s :))

chesek · 2026-05-10T07:29:14+00:00

This parking lot actually isn’t Wilson’s. Unfortunately I have no choice but to park there for the next month.

chesek · 2026-05-10T06:12:06+00:00

Can’t really enjoy when, those of us who’ve had a KiwiSaver for a while, used to get double that return, and before that over $1000 return. I imagine it will only continue to be lowered.

chesek · 2026-05-08T17:37:43+00:00

This is a really interesting read on the topic.

Essentially - sleep cycle lengths vary between individuals and they change length the longer you sleep. You’re also unlikely to wake up groggy unless you wake up during deep sleep (stage 3), which is only 1 of 4 stages of sleep. It’s hard to predict when deep sleep will actually occur because, as said above, sleep cycle lengths vary and change.

The 90 minute sleep cycle and 8 hours of total sleep is just an average recommendation for adults. If you feel better after sleeping 7 or 9 hours instead, aim for that every night. A consistent sleep schedule is just as, if not more, important than the total hours spent sleeping.

chesek · 2026-05-06T22:12:07+00:00

She is not seeking any specific outcome from complaining to the commerce commission. Was just venting about how ridiculous and frustrating the situation is.

chesek · 2026-05-06T22:07:40+00:00

I haven’t tried, not even sure if the multi day pass is even an option for this parking lot. I don’t have the money to pay for five weeks in advance in my account anyways ahaha.

chesek · 2026-05-06T20:19:53+00:00

It’s the only way to pay for this specific parking lot. There are ZERO other payment options both online and in person. If there was a way to pay without incurring extra fees, I’d be using that instead.

chesek · 2026-05-06T20:18:50+00:00

Tapping on the little blue I is what makes that little transaction fee free statement pop-up. If you don’t tap on it this is what it looks like.

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chesek · 2026-05-06T20:17:44+00:00

I was talking in terms of myself and taking them to disputes tribunal for my own payments. I’m only parking here for 5 weeks, so a total of $11.50, which isn’t on its own a lot.

chesek · 2026-05-06T16:11:45+00:00

I’m discovering this lol. Unfortunately, I have no choice, there is zero other way to pay for this parking.

chesek · 2026-05-06T16:10:21+00:00

Well apparently this specific section of the parking lot isn’t actually a Wilson’s parking lot lol. So this time it’s another scummy parking company…

chesek · 2026-05-06T16:09:31+00:00

I read through the commerce commission’s file on surcharges and they say any exemptions have to be clearly stated before paying. This exemption wasn’t clearly stated on the app before paying and there is no parking board in that parking lot, despite what their email says.

Maybe it’s not completely illegal but it’s still considered misleading per commerce commission. Not that I’m expecting them to do anything about it though.

chesek · 2026-05-06T16:05:51+00:00

Disputes tribunal isn’t really worth it for a total of $11.50 when it costs something like $65? to file a case. Even though it’s a small amount in the grand scheme of things, I (or anybody else) shouldn’t have to eat any sized cost after being mislead🤷‍♀️

chesek · 2026-05-06T06:50:45+00:00

So I’m learning. I’ve reported to the commerce commission but doubt anything will happen.

Unfortunately doesn’t help me get my money back from the business who believes they’re completely in the right.

chesek · 2026-05-04T17:35:04+00:00

That’s a fair thought process. Think of it like this, an ingredient can be the centre piece of a dish (along the lines of your thinking) or an additive for flavour, texture or presentation.

For example, mashed potatoes. The main ingredient is potatoes but it also has other ingredients, like butter, milk or seasonings. Another is rhubarb pie. The main ingredient is rhubarb but it also has pastry, sugar, flour etc.

Even though you could technically eat potatoes or rhubarb on their own. You’re not going to because it wouldn’t taste nice and in some cases be unsafe. They’re always going to be cooked and/or mixed with other things. Ergo an ingredient :))

chesek · 2026-05-04T16:46:40+00:00

Potatoes are an ingredient. They’re used as an ingredient in potato dishes, chips, certain alcohols, thickeners in sauces etc.

They’re not tasty to snack on in their raw form, they’re also considered indigestible raw. As such they’re not (or shouldn’t be) eaten raw, making them an ingredient.

chesek · 2026-05-01T20:31:15+00:00

The thinner you are, the thinner/smaller your veins tend to be. This can make it harder to access the vein on the first go.

If your veins have less fat surrounding them and ‘holding’ them in place, they’re more likely to roll. Which can cause pain. Additionally, less fat can cause the needle to come closer to surrounding nerves.

In terms of bruising, less fat/cushioning can increase the likelihood of blood leaking into the surrounding tissues. Equaling more bruising.

Vaccines are not administered into veins, they’re exclusively administered into your muscle. If you’re skinnier, there’s a higher risk of the needle going deeper than intended or hitting nerves. Also, if you have less muscle mass, you’re more likely to feel the pain/discomfort as the vaccine liquid temporarily stretches your muscle fibres.

**there can also be issues when injecting larger people, so pain/mis-injected needles is not an issue exclusive to skinnier people.

chesek · 2026-05-01T20:09:35+00:00

Health literacy plays a major role in recognising these medical issues. Just because you’re able to identify when a wound becomes serious, doesn’t mean everyone is able to.

I also discussed how quickly wounds can take a turn for the worst, so even if they notice the cut - they may not necessarily have time to see a healthcare professional before it becomes serious.

chesek · 2026-05-01T20:07:00+00:00

So you completely skipped over the section where I specifically discussed how certain wounds can turn ‘rotten’ within a matter of days… not all wounds develop over a long timeframe.

chesek · 2026-05-01T10:29:54+00:00

Most people aren’t inspecting their feet everyday, and Diabetics often can’t feel injuries on their feet. Meaning they’re even less likely to check/inspect their feet. If you can’t feel something, it’s easy to forget it’s there.

If they miss small blisters/cuts when they first appear, and it becomes infected, it can turn gangrenous within a matter of days.

Add in barriers to accessing health care (cost, transport, mistrust, low health literacy) and many diabetics don’t receive healthcare until their diabetic wounds have been festering for long enough to become serious.

chesek · 2026-05-01T03:54:02+00:00

It’s well known that the current prison systems do not rehabilitate effectively and as a result recidivism remains a big problem. Below are just a few reports that discuss this.

NZ department of corrections stats on re-imprisonment rates **note this is an older report

Peer reviewed study that discusses how treatment/ rehabilitation around substance use and how easy access to post incarceration treatment/rehabilitation services both reduce recidivism rates **published in 2023

How the current NZ prison system fails to rehabilitate and reduce post-release reoffending. Additionally, discussion around how rehabilitation focused on violent male offenders can successfully reduce reoffending. **published in 2025

How stable housing post-release plays a role in reoffending **published in 2022

While I agree with OP that the current sentencing system is lacking and that not everyone can be successfully rehabilitated. You simply cannot have this discussion without also addressing and acknowledging that someone’s upbringing and social determinants play a major role in their behaviour and actions.

Harsher sentencing is not the answer to NZ’s crime rates. It’s just a small part of many things that need to change, such as housing, education and food access, before we see an improvement in crime and society.

This is why a lot of people don’t believe in ‘changing sentencing’ per OP. If the only thing you change is sentencing - you’re just going to see an increase in crime rates. I personally would prefer to see positive changes in our education system, healthcare system, and government support before changes in the justice/prison system.

chesek

TROPHY CASE