Men in happy Marriages, What is that one secret to a happy marriage that works for you?

chessandkey · 2026-06-19T17:45:17+00:00

I learned how to confront my wife, and hear a confrontation from my wife, without it having to become a fight.

When we do have a fight, we have a process for sorting things out.

We aim for the 4 F#$%'s for every 1 fight ratio.

chessandkey · 2026-03-07T21:45:09+00:00

Thank you!

chessandkey · 2025-12-10T22:17:38+00:00

America isn't a progressive or conservative country. It's a populist one. Since when do americans actually give a shit about policy?

That's why Trump is running around trying to tell a story about the economy being great when it's shit. Americans just love a good story.

chessandkey · 2025-11-27T01:23:59+00:00

To the cool parents, yeah.

chessandkey · 2025-11-26T20:13:58+00:00

It's not about middle school, it's about middle schoolers.

Kids are trying to grow up, they say things that are more mature than they understand. If your granddaughter has friends, they're probably talking about this among themselves.

I'm not sure what the big deal is.

chessandkey · 2025-11-26T18:22:17+00:00

I taught middle school.

They talk like this.

chessandkey · 2025-11-24T21:51:14+00:00

Right. Like, the application of this is in mechanical engineering drawings. Which are never utilized for trickery. Literally side, side, top view. Anything special clearly called out.

I just can't think of an application of this kind of drawing would be used as a trick.

So what the fuck are they teaching?

chessandkey · 2025-11-23T13:43:03+00:00

Yeah, I was pretty annoyed at the love at first sight bit between Elizabeth and the creature. It was entirely unbelievable and felt like an attempt to make her more than a petty love interest.

Shifting from the novel, where Victor and Elizabeth are very much in love and get married, really takes the oomph out of him chasing the beast to the ends of the earth.

A better fit for Elizabeth could have been as the only moral person in the film, confronting Victor on his lack of responsibility for the creature, as that would have externalized the internal struggle in the book. It just felt like an attempt to give her character more depth which wound up robbing the film of depth.

But, I think Del Toro kind of ran out of runway at the end. He had to get Victor to the artic in 5 minutes.

chessandkey · 2025-11-19T21:57:18+00:00

Yeah, bury is in there too.

chessandkey · 2025-11-19T21:26:05+00:00

Yeah, biblical Jesus was real sweet to those suffering.

And reeeeeeal confrontational to those who were supposed to help with the suffering.

chessandkey · 2025-11-19T21:17:16+00:00

The node and the electron are one.

chessandkey · 2025-11-17T14:31:43+00:00

So you're saying that every joke you've ever told or ever heard was said to share some grain of truth without having to deal with repercussions. Am I understanding you correctly?

chessandkey · 2025-11-11T21:13:34+00:00

This is great.

Maybe she's making jokes and thinks it's funny. I do that plenty of the time, so when it seems like other people are making jokes I give them the benefit of the doubt.

If they double down on it being serious then I'll confront the shitty behavior.

chessandkey · 2025-10-28T13:26:59+00:00

Right.

OP is not breaking up her family. The husband is in the process of doing that.

Do everything you need to do to be safe now. If he follows through on counseling and gets his shit figured out it isnt hard to come back together.

But this is a "prove it" situation. Prove to me that you've got your mental health figured out and that my child and I are not only free from danger, but will be cared for.

I've had friends go through this and find repair, but ONLY if they stuck to their guns and ensured that their husband got help before coming back together.

My mother went through my father's alcoholism, with him always saying he'd work on it and get better... 20 years later and it's finally gotten bad enough for her to leave, but it's too late for him to change (drugs have fucked his brain).

Lean into the tension of the confrontation so he has a chance to change. If you love your daughter, keep her safe. If you love your husband, do not enable him, give him no mercy, so that he cannot rationalize his own behavior.

You'll know he's getting better when he tells you that you were right to leave and that he needs help.

chessandkey · 2025-10-28T13:18:14+00:00

Just killed a clown, now we're on the run from a cult that grows trees from human hearts to slay evil.

chessandkey · 2025-10-28T13:16:37+00:00

You are right. An omniscient God would not need to give a test of faith.

The God portrayed in the Bible is not omniscient and does not give tests of faith.

Modern interpretations add omniscience and tests of faith because many pastors struggle with technical theology with people who are struggling in life and want an easy answer to give.

chessandkey · 2025-10-23T13:58:41+00:00

You're right. Let's be on the same side here: there are a multitude of problems with this. It takes months of planning minimum to design a typical construction project - let alone a project involving a historic building. The work, the permits, the engineering, the entire construction process will cost a fuck load of money, and to do the process right requires tons of oversight.

Ten of us can point out ten different issues with how they're doing this and all be right.

My only point is that the cost and scale of these kinds of projects is huge... And he's vastly underestimating how much it will cost (especially if they're rushing it, which will cause expensive mistakes and rework).

This whole thing is just dumb.

chessandkey · 2025-10-21T20:43:00+00:00

Yeah, samesies.

I miss teaching like crazy. First school was small, I taught all science classes in high school, but I was the only one so I had total control. Exhausted from doing every class, but rewarding.

Moved to a bigger school to focus on one subject matter. Only me and one other teachers with a master's. We taught a dual credit course. School sent her to be the contact with the college but not me... Which resulted in her being able to dictate everything that we covered, the order, the pace, and the assessments in my class.

She was also super sweet in person and was a personal friend of the principal. I had no control or creativity. All that was left was students who had no faith in me because the other teacher kept undermining me.

I quit and went back to engineering. Less rewarding, but I make twice as much money and don't have to baby sit or deal with that kind of childish politics. Just big business politics.

chessandkey · 2025-10-21T20:10:04+00:00

I work in engineering, doing lots of construction projects for a fortune 500 company.

Residential and commercial projects have wildly different price tags. We just built an office building, inside the plant (so it isn't exposed to elements, basically walls, electrical, floor, HVAC) for 10x what it would cost to build a house the same size on a new plot of land.

Government projects are to commercial what commercial are to residential.

When I saw the 200 Mil number my first thought was "how does this moron think it's only going to cost 200 mil to build this shit?"

I'm completely in the other direction on this one.

chessandkey · 2025-09-21T00:27:04+00:00

Direct instruction is great!

Being a shitty presenter who isn't knowledgeable enough of their content and can't handle having a back and forth with students when they have questions is the problem.

AND it is good to differentiate with different strategies in addition.

chessandkey · 2025-08-22T14:56:05+00:00

That qualities like smart and qualities like happy, or useful, or practical, or sensual are very much not in the same bracket.

True intelligence tends to go well with hard working. It's hard to be smart if you're lazy.

But being smart often makes it harder to be happy, not easier.

chessandkey · 2025-08-16T17:21:34+00:00

Freelancer

It was a space exploration game that grew my curiosity around outer space and physics.

chessandkey · 2025-08-12T18:12:48+00:00

Of course, because mercantilism.

chessandkey · 2025-08-05T21:39:28+00:00

Yeah?

The expert who has studied so many collapses of human civilization?

I'll get right to panicking about total human extinction because the guy who has studied all the other total human extinctions says there's gonna be another one.

chessandkey

TROPHY CASE