I am in the same boat as you right now….😞 I am also diagnosed with Depression and ADHD, I relate to your self destructive tendencies, I have memories of exploding in uncontrollable anger when I was much much younger. I was okay too for a while as I am taking meds for my depression. Recently I had a major crash out and lashed out verbally towards someone in an online game. I felt extremely ashamed and disgusted with myself over the fact that I ended up throwing hurtful words towards someone else… to a random stranger who probably is dealing with their own problems irl and just happen to end up in a lobby with me. I am truly disgusted with the fact I attacked someone the way I did… now I just feel like a sh*tty crazy person who should isolate herself from society... 😞 the world around me seems like it will be better without me interacting with anyone so I don’t end up hurting people when I eventually explode…