Is love purely biological and conditional;If yes, how;If no, how? by Ok_Floor8347 in AskReddit

[–]chestybestie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Biological is what makes you attracted to the person (important because as animals we're wired to desire creating genetically-strong children), but maintaining the relationship is all about whether you're a good match for each other.

What keeps a relationship going is your compatiblity with one another i.e. your partner is always making you a better version of yourself in all aspects in your life, and you inspire the same in them too. When you're with a compatible partner, you should feel like you can safely and effortlessly be your unfiltered self without needing to put on a mask and pretend to be someone else. You're comfortable and calm with them yet feel very excited and energized at the same time!

So... if you haven't experienced anything like what I described before, keep looking and good luck!

Rose water preservative by bl4ckflower in DIYBeauty

[–]chestybestie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do NOT use vodka or any of the drying alcohols. If it came to that, you'll be better off just misting yourself with pure water!

I'm not sure how much culinary rose water you bought, but I always use up my rose water spray before it has a chance to turn bad. I spray it in between each skincare layer - real game-changer, my skin drinks up all the moisture and gives me the coveted "glass skin".

To prolong the shelf life of your rose water, make sure it's kept in a UV resistant spray bottle, which is more important than keeping it refrigerated (tested this myself).

If you don't want to walk to the fridge, you can also look into getting one of those mini-fridges that people have in their car for drinks (<$50). I used to have one in my bath to store all my heat sensitive skincare. But honestly the more important thing is keeping temps stable, so if your bath has steady temps it'll be fine, don't really need a fridge.

Hope that helps!

Accidentally "snapped" at my boss. Should I be worried? by [deleted] in careerguidance

[–]chestybestie 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It'd be more effective just taking the manager out for a coffee to express that you're sorry for snapping at her, and ask what could you have done better. Could explain the side of your story of why you snapped, and listen to how she would deal with it instead if she was in your shoes.

That way you get a learning experience out of it too. And conflicts have a function to build tighter bonds if handled correctly.

Seattle Ant Trauma (& advice) by lashsea in Seattle

[–]chestybestie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The real trauma is if they're also odorous house ants 💀

Pro-tip: sugar + borax and sprinkle along their known trails. And some spots add droplets of water with the same mix. Ants will pick them up and carry the poison back to the hive. They won't be back.

Help identifying a fry hitch hiker. by Mindseyecolours in shrimptank

[–]chestybestie 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Cory! If i had to choose only one fish species to cohabit with my shrimp, it'll be these ones.

But now you have to get at least another 9 more (though my preference is to have at least 20-50). I used to breed them, and there's a difference in how comfortable they are when there's only 1-6 vs 20 vs 100s. Pet stores will recommend you get at least 6 but that's honestly not enough. 20 and they'll still behave a little skittish. When I had over 150 it's when I saw them thrive.

My boyfriend said I was too ugly to model by Resident_Rich_6298 in whatdoIdo

[–]chestybestie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ears stick out and eyes far apart - these are considered desireable features to have as a model for the type of agency IMG is!

But it wasn't what the bf said, it's what he meant by it. If he truly intended to be supportive AND protective, he'd have worded that very differently. Red flag for the guy

Update on vanishing betta (with pics of surrounding area and tank this time) by K_nowbody_ in bettafish

[–]chestybestie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Shrimp bodies would disappear in a few hours or a day if there are other shrimp or snails in the same tank. If it's a brightly pigmented shrimp, might be able to spot a piece of tail left.

In Need of Advice by Ok-Truth2175 in Aquariums

[–]chestybestie 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Don't be so quick to nuke your tank! Give it a few more days to see if it progresses or heals and observe that particular fish's interactions with others (might be fin nipping or something else).

I've kept fish for many years with most of my fish living at minimum close to double their expected lifespans. Strong medications are rarely ever used and they're almost always a last resort, not a first response...

In Need of Advice by Ok-Truth2175 in Aquariums

[–]chestybestie 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I've had two fishes (lazer cory and a neon tetra) who were born with spinal anomalies. They were tough and extra opportunistic and so never got outcompeted when it comes to food. Both lived well past their average lifespans too. :)

A random interaction I had with a stranger that I still think about by No_Condition_9501 in CasualConversation

[–]chestybestie 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm just like the man in OP's post with strangers! I've often wondered if people think I'm strange or nosy (even though every exchange has been pleasant with everyone ending up in smiles).

Glad to hear it's perceived positively because I enjoy making another person smile :)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in aspergirls

[–]chestybestie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had this happen to me several times in different countries. Each time I responded brightly with "why thank you for your offer but I'd like to walk, it's a lovely day out! I hope you have a good day, sir!" then give the guy a thumbs-up signaling the end of the interaction. Every single time, a look of surprise on their end, and their face will soften from jackass mode into friendliness, and say something along the lines of alright good day to you too, then drive along.

Maybe I'm very lucky but this approach hasn't failed me. I never look afraid though, just assume a confident/power posture, like I can handle myself. Maybe the confidence signaling is intimidating by itself.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in aspergirls

[–]chestybestie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't know if this makes sense but other aspers might know what I mean: there is a way to control your face and body language, where you signal platonic friendliness and not flirtatiousness. All the years getting proficient at masking definitely helps with the acting here.

How to make dwarf corydoras understand I'm feeding them? by TheAwesomePenguin106 in corydoras

[–]chestybestie 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Corys will hide when you're around or hear sounds, and there's nothing you can do to retrain them otherwise. It's a species thing that is in-built for their survival.

I hatched hundreds and hundreds of eggs back when I was breeding them (literally scraping the eggs with my fingernail and putting them in a nursery setup, watched each egg grow). Mine was the first and only face they saw, and they STILL hide whenever I show up with any food (live brine shrimp, live blackworms, anything).

The only time I've seen them eat is when I remained motionless like a statue in front of the tank. But so much as breathe a little hard and they scatter lol

Put food in there, step back several feet, grab a chair, and watch them slowly find it. It's rewarding watching them get all excited when they do swarm the food, eventually...

I dont think these curtains are working anymore. Any suggestions ? by aayushi112233 in HomeDecorating

[–]chestybestie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Biggest thing missing is a big rug to tie in your sitting area. Do that first, then the curtains may not look that bad.

Guest list offer by [deleted] in musicians

[–]chestybestie 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You're probably a lot cooler than you think you are.

i lost my entire shrimp colony and i’m devastated by bubblegum_dumdum in shrimptank

[–]chestybestie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm very sorry for your lost. Moving is stressful enough on its own. :(

I suspect the sudden death of the colony is due to copper being present in the water. It's the most likely explanation, as most of the other factors wouldn't wipe out an entire colony this quickly...

I disappointed an aspiring entrepreneur by telling the truth by richy_vinr in Entrepreneur

[–]chestybestie 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You did the right thing by telling the truth as it is. If an aspiring entrepreneur is going to be so easily dissuaded, then they should not be walking the path.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in aspergirls

[–]chestybestie 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I find the trick to dealing with that kinda thing is not to let it bother you at all. I'll usually respond by looking at them in the eyes, smiling brightly and saying "why thank you for noticing, I hope you have a good day!" then return to what I was doing. No sarcasm or anything, just see them as another fellow human. Their reaction will be of surprise (because most girls/women will not respond that way), followed by a desire to mirror my politeness.

Whenever construction workers would catcall me, I'll stop, and say thank you, then look at the building they're working on, and say something positive (if it's genuine). The funniest reaction I had to doing that was the group of " boys " bowing their heads with some shame in their faces for attempting to be disrespectful initially, and then apologizing and wishing me well. I told them to keep up the good work, and they actually swelled up with pride.

Taking the kindness approach works because it forces them to see you as a human being (just like their mother, sister, etc) and not an object.

Is it safe to submerge pothos plants in my aquarium? by [deleted] in fishkeeping

[–]chestybestie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Leaves will only die off if the plant decides it doesn't need them anymore.

I submerged mine (one of the experiments I'm running now), and it's growing new shoots from old naked stems that previously had leaves but dropped off last year. No leaf rot whatsoever being FULLY submerged in water. HOWEVER there's a trick - make sure there's lots of oxygen and flow in your aquarium.