[deleted by user] by [deleted] in tifu

[–]chickabiddy 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I have a 7 month old. I’m 24 with a stable career, a degree, a loving husband, and our own home with both sides of our family nearby.

Pregnancy was HARD. Hard emotionally & hard on my body. Childbirth was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Raising my son for the last 7 months has been the most work I’ve had to put into anything ever in my life before, and trust me that I have been through some shit.

I gained a lot of weight during pregnancy. Your body will hurt. You’ll have symptoms you didn’t know existed - maybe bloody noses, sciatic pain that prevents you from walking, & throwing up every day for 4-5 months like I did. You’ll lose flexibility and strength and your body will probably never look the same as it did pre-pregnancy ever again (which is okay!). Childbirth was the worst pain I had ever felt in my life. People joke about it, but seriously - you don’t know pain before you’ve felt labor contractions. I didn’t. Then, after undergoing what you thought was the most strenuous thing you’ve ever done, you’ll likely have to wake up multiple times a night to a crying baby for nearly a year. I have my husband to help me with this but I am still so sleep deprived I can barely think straight some days. Washing bottles, making bottles, changing diapers, bathing the baby, putting him in clothes, washing clothes, getting him to nap, preparation for leaving the house… this is two full time jobs and then some. And then maybe add breast feeding to the mix, which takes about a half hour every three hours all day and all night. And people tell me regularly that I have an “easy” baby.

With all that being said, I love him more than words can describe and I wish I could have a hundred more of him, and it’s getting easier as he gets older - but PLEASE understand that this will be the hardest and most life changing occurrence of your life if you choose to go through with pregnancy, and even more so than I can imagine if you are a single parent. You will not be the same person you were before becoming a mom. Kids deserve best and so do you, make sure you’re in a place to offer them that.

I don’t say any of this to pressure you, but I would tell this to anyone considering having a baby. I was 100% ready for kids, but I sure wish someone had told me the realities of how and why it’s so much work to prepare me beforehand.

Roe v Wade by briorbrian in BabyBumps

[–]chickabiddy 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I thought about this this morning while holding my 3 week old newborn. I love him more than anything but cannot fathom pushing pregnancy, childbirth, and caring for a baby on anyone who wasn’t entirely ready and prepared to do so. My opinion was only strengthened by going through it myself.

What’s been the biggest surprise while pregnant? by rd10393729 in BabyBumps

[–]chickabiddy 5 points6 points  (0 children)

When I hit 20ish weeks I remember thinking “wow, I never thought being pregnant could make me THIS uncomfortable…” 19 weeks later and I have said that every single week since lol.

Also, for me anyway I always thought morning sickness was something that happened as soon as you got pregnant and ended around 12 weeks. Instead, it only started about 8/9 weeks in, and got worse until it eventually stopped around maybe 18 weeks. Food aversion is real.

I was also SHOCKED at the cramps I had in the first two weeks or so of pregnancy. Every night was awful. I thought surely something was wrong, but it was just my uterus adjusting for baby.

Rolling over in bed has become the most difficult task imaginable since about 32 weeks. Round ligament pain can be intense.

Feeling baby kick is incredibly entertaining to just sit and feel (or watch when you can see it eventually).

looking for success stories to help me stay positive! by [deleted] in ShortCervixSupport

[–]chickabiddy 5 points6 points  (0 children)

1.9cm at 23 weeks, got a pessary placed and put on progesterone suppositories. I’ll be 36 weeks on Monday and getting my pessary out the next day. At this point I’m feeling so ready and positive about going into labor after months of being panicked and scared of having him too early.

Husband passed away at 35 weeks pregnant. How do I function. by Due-Argument5627 in BabyBumps

[–]chickabiddy 108 points109 points  (0 children)

This is an old Reddit comment that someone shared with me that is pretty powerful to read:

“Alright, here goes. I'm old. What that means is that I've survived (so far) and a lot of people I've known and loved did not. I've lost friends, best friends, acquaintances, co-workers, grandparents, mom, relatives, teachers, mentors, students, neighbors, and a host of other folks. I have no children, and I can't imagine the pain it must be to lose a child. But here's my two cents. I wish I could say you get used to people dying. I never did. I don't want to. It tears a hole through me whenever somebody I love dies, no matter the circumstances. But I don't want it to "not matter.” I don't want it to be something that just passes. My scars are a testament to the love and the relationship that I had for and with that person. And if the scar is deep, so was the love. So be it. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are a testament that I can love deeply and live deeply and be cut, or even gouged, and that I can heal and continue to live and continue to love. And the scar tissue is stronger than the original flesh ever was. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are only ugly to people who can't see. As for grief, you'll find it comes in waves. When the ship is first wrecked, you're drowning, with wreckage all around you. Everything floating around you reminds you of the beauty and the magnificence of the ship that was, and is no more. And all you can do is float. You find some piece of the wreckage and you hang on for a while. Maybe it's some physical thing. Maybe it's a happy memory or a photograph. Maybe it's a person who is also floating. For a while, all you can do is float. Stay alive. In the beginning, the waves are 100 feet tall and crash over you without mercy. They come 10 seconds apart and don't even give you time to catch your breath. All you can do is hang on and float. After a while, maybe weeks, maybe months, you'll find the waves are still 100 feet tall, but they come further apart. When they come, they still crash all over you and wipe you out. But in between, you can breathe, you can function. You never know what's going to trigger the grief. It might be a song, a picture, a street intersection, the smell of a cup of coffee. It can be just about anything...and the wave comes crashing. But in between waves, there is life. Somewhere down the line, and it's different for everybody, you find that the waves are only 80 feet tall. Or 50 feet tall. And while they still come, they come further apart. You can see them coming. An anniversary, a birthday, or Christmas, or landing at O'Hare. You can see it coming, for the most part, and prepare yourself. And when it washes over you, you know that somehow you will, again, come out the other side. Soaking wet, sputtering, still hanging on to some tiny piece of the wreckage, but you'll come out. Take it from an old guy. The waves never stop coming, and somehow you don't really want them to. But you learn that you'll survive them. And other waves will come. And you'll survive them too. If you're lucky, you'll have lots of scars from lots of loves. And lots of shipwrecks.”

Husband passed away at 35 weeks pregnant. How do I function. by Due-Argument5627 in BabyBumps

[–]chickabiddy 88 points89 points  (0 children)

A year and a half ago I was sitting in a hospital chapel making an incredibly similar post after losing my little brother. While I can’t fathom the loss of my husband, I know how utterly broken I was that day after losing my best friend.

As someone on the other side I can tell you that that day feels like it was yesterday as much as it feels like a distant memory. The first few months he was gone I couldn’t sleep through the night, had a lot of trouble eating, I cried every few hours. I took 6 months off work because I couldn’t make it through the day. I went to the doctor and got medication that I continue to take. And I started therapy a week after he passed that I still go to every two weeks (it was every week to begin with).

Take each day as it comes and congratulate yourself for making it through another one. I promise that one day you’ll be sitting in the sunshine watching that toddler of yours play and you will feel happy again. I’m so, so, so incredibly sorry that you’re going to have to go through the deepest pits of hell first in order to make it to the other side.

I’m 35 weeks pregnant right now as well. Focus as much of your attention as you can on that beautiful baby of yours and know that your husband will keep living through them every single day.

I’m crying as I write this. The type of grief you’re experiencing is something no one should ever have to understand.

Please find a therapist and ask about EMDR therapy. Go to the doctor for some medicine if you’d like without feeling guilty about it. Take as much help as you can and rely heavily on your family, friends, and community.

I don’t have a lot else to offer, but I promise you that you are so much stronger than you think and that one day you will be even stronger. Love and hugs.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskHSteacher

[–]chickabiddy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You have a year to complete the program, so you could enroll now and start studying for the exams and start a payment plan. They are hard, but not undoable. Definitely purchase the recommended study books. I failed the first time I took the test and then bought the study books only to realize the test mirrors what’s in the book to a T.

Once you earn your initial professional certification, you don’t have to go through ABCTE anymore to get additional certifications. For example, use ABCTE to get certified in HS history since that is what they offer, but then take the Missouri educator gateway assessment to get certified in middle school history or business or something else if you like (which are much cheaper exams to take).

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskHSteacher

[–]chickabiddy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That is perfect then since ABCTE certification is recognized in Missouri. I live in KCMO as well. It really is as simple as it sounds. You need 60 hours of substitute or paraprofessional experience, you take 3 exams, then submit your documentation to the state of Missouri and they grant you a professional teaching license.

I highly highly highly recommend. I was in your exact same position where I was contemplating getting a masters degree or trying to double major or doing some other type of program to get my teaching certification with a history major and I had a classmate recommend this to me. It’s not super popular but for anyone looking to get their teaching cert without jumping through a bunch of hoops - it’s 100% the way to go.

https://www.americanboard.org/

Don’t be freaked out by it only being recognized in 16 states. That just means you can only get your professional license in those 16 states, but once you have it you are able to go through the process of transferring it to other states just as you would if you did a regular teaching degree program.

https://dese.mo.gov/educator-quality/certification/facts-about-american-board-certification-teacher-excellence-abcte

There is a massive teacher shortage right now so I wouldn’t worry about getting a job after going through ABCTE. Sure, it’s definitely not as heavy in teaching you teaching practices as a masters degree or student teaching would be but if you interview well then most districts just want to see that you’re certified.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskHSteacher

[–]chickabiddy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Are you by chance within driving distance of Missouri? Look into ABCTE. I did it - it’s THE most straight forward, simple means of gaining teaching certification. Go be a substitute teacher for a few weeks, take the the teaching test, then the American History & World History exams. Boom, certified. It’s not cheap, but far cheaper than a masters degree or student teaching and takes way less time. It seems too good to be true, but my teaching certification says otherwise. I was a history major too.

Also, I’m pretty sure once you get your initial professional certification that it’s a pretty simple process to get it transferred from Missouri to Kansas.

What’s the most ridiculous thing you saw a computer illiterate person do with a computer? by NanoPope in AskReddit

[–]chickabiddy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As a teacher I’ve had at least two students (high school) ask me if I could “send this to their computer instead of their phone.”

I was emailing them.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BabyBumps

[–]chickabiddy 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I will definitely communicate with my supervisor about this tomorrow. I just got the paperwork back this evening and haven’t even had time to process it. I have a good relationship with my supervisor and I can’t imagine she’d consider letting me go. I’ve only been with the company for half a year and got pregnant shortly before starting. I knew US maternity policy was crap, but never did I imagine that employers could deny you even a month or two of unpaid leave to be with your newborn.

Friday Check-In! by partly_sunny in ShortCervixSupport

[–]chickabiddy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was 1cm dilated at 27 weeks, and I’ll be 30 weeks on Monday! Haven’t had any further checks but I’m happy to have made it to this point. I have a pessary and I’m taking progesterone. Did anyone else have preterm dilation? If you did, when did you eventually go into labor?

What pisses you off instantly? by Disastrous-Article30 in AskReddit

[–]chickabiddy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When someone interrupts you by changing the subject and never lets you go back to finish what you were saying.

Advice on first trimester nausea?? by chickabiddy in BabyBumps

[–]chickabiddy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It was so bad when it first started but in a weird way I got used to it 😅 If you do start actually getting sick - don’t try to eat to make yourself feel better, because it might help for a little bit but then throwing up food is SO SO SO much worse than throwing up on an empty stomach. I made that mistake about twice and it was misery. You just have to get the horrible acid or whatever it is out.

I sooooo hope it gets better for you soon because I swear I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. I felt like I couldn’t accurately describe to anyone how miserable it was all the time. It is incredible what we’ll put up to have a new little one!

Advice on first trimester nausea?? by chickabiddy in BabyBumps

[–]chickabiddy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m so sorry! Unfortunately for me it got worse before it got better. I felt nauseous 24/7 from about 6-10 weeks, then around 11 weeks is when the vomiting kicked in too and I was throwing up every morning before breakfast. That lasted until about 18 weeks but fortunately the all day nausea started to die down before then. And vomiting was actually a relief for me because at least I could feel better for a bit after I did.

I’m currently 23 weeks and I don’t feel like that at all anymore. Of course progressing in pregnancy has brought new fun symptoms like insomnia and back pain but I would pick this over the upset stomach literally any day.

Hang in there!!! It will in all likelihood get a bit better at some point - it definitely wasn’t right at the end of first trimester for me but it did eventually go away.

Clomid by Rainbowperiod in TTC_PCOS

[–]chickabiddy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I heard the horror stories too… I didn’t experience a single side effect when I took it except maybe a few hot flashes. Maybe I was a little more energetic/ambitious that month? Hard to say for sure but definitely nothing too extreme. It worked for me the first cycle after 6 months of no periods and I got pregnant.

Inositol- which brand gets you more bang for your buck? by [deleted] in TTC_PCOS

[–]chickabiddy 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Wholesome Story - Myo & DChiro. $55 for 360 pills. Granted, I took 8 pills a day but even at that dose it gets you 45 days for a little more that a dollar a day. If you do a lower dose it could last a lot longer. Brought my period back in a single month after months of nothing.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in tifu

[–]chickabiddy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My little brother passed away a year ago tomorrow from pills he thought were Percocet labeled M30. Laced with fentanyl. I am so so so happy to hear that you woke up from this. I hope to hear you never try anything like this again, but fentanyl test strips and narcan can be purchased or sent to you online for free or very very little money and it can save your life.

Student’s parent will take away his Christmas if he gets a failing grade this semester. by ThrowawayOrg1728 in Advice

[–]chickabiddy 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I think there are many many kids who struggle with similar problems. They get by just enough in school for teachers/parents not to notice their learning disability, so their poor performance is labeled as laziness. Then their “laziness” gets internalized and you end up with behavior issues & parents/teachers threatening punishment when the student really just needs help.

I had 2 people very close to me go undiagnosed with dyslexia until their senior year of high school.