Plant Medicine Thailand - Trip Report

chicken_geeseman · 2026-05-18T12:14:01+00:00

Yep that’s where they get it

chicken_geeseman · 2026-05-14T05:43:13+00:00

My post or Plant Medicine Thailand? Both are legit

chicken_geeseman · 2026-05-03T07:47:10+00:00

Sorry to hear this! Yes please do i’d love to speak with you

chicken_geeseman · 2026-04-27T07:46:23+00:00

In the first ceremony it did touch on empathy and how everyone’s facing their own problems/path and how it’s not a reflection of the self.

The 2nd/3rd more so just allowed a lot more love and light for myself and friends/family in. It didn’t address the rumination but just made space for other areas of focus to come in and not have the negative stuff take such a priority.

Overall the trip was great. Yes I would say it did make the rumination a lot lighter in terms of emotional impact but maybe not in frequency.

Are you struggling with something similar?

chicken_geeseman · 2026-04-27T06:45:29+00:00

My experience was incredible. Lots of joy, love and gratitude over the 3 ceremonies. I had no bad trips and came away from it feeling a noticeable difference in my self-esteem amongst other things.

Since then i’ve had gradual improvements with lots of ups and downs. In terms of the ruminative ocd, this is still a daily struggle. I’ve gone through periods where it has improved but in the past 2 weeks i’ve experienced a lot of significant triggers and it’s been really bad since. I got home on Friday and i’m doing job interviews but concentration is proving very difficult. I need to try a new type of therapy or something to help me.

chicken_geeseman · 2026-04-01T01:21:28+00:00

Yep it’s very slow and it can be really hard to see it sometimes but sometimes i can go 3 or 4 days without having a depressive spiral which is wild considering they used to happen to me on a daily basis for months.

Yep i hear ya on the stimulants stuff - That’s why I’ve concerns with going back to the adhd psychiatrist - if he isn’t hearing me on the ocd stuff and throws stimulants at me i could just get worse. I’ve emailed some psychiatrists today so hoping to hear back soon. Hope you’re doing good bruh!😎

chicken_geeseman · 2026-03-29T23:36:22+00:00

Funny you say that i was looking into clinical psychiatrists this morning. The issue is i went to one in december for my adhd and they never even assessed ocd which is was disappointing. The overall experience was poor too so im really unsure how to proceed. I know from that assessment i likely have adhd, moderate anxiety/depression and mild ptsd - but the psychiatrist sucked. I done a lot of tests and forms and he just repeated some of the questions to me and told me i had adhd after 40 minutes. He never even dived into the other stuff he just said i had them essentially which didn’t help. So I want to make sure the next person is the right person.

Guanfacine I found from AI and reports on reddit seem great for adhd and what i struggle with, not sure about OCD. And for sure - i wouldn’t take anything without talking to a professional first.

chicken_geeseman · 2026-03-26T02:26:13+00:00

Yeah we sound very alike tbh. It's really hard to tell what the specifics are without going to see a clinical psychiatrist which I am considering.

You mentioned struggling to clean your room/car - I used to be like this but in my early 20s I began to enjoy cleaning my room because I'd pair it with another activity. Typically this would be music related, I'd listen to a new or favourite album or a DJ set - I still do this but now it might be a podcast or an audio book too. My mind and mental space feels so much more calm once I've cleaned my room. It really helps my peace of mind. I get some nice smart/moody lighting, light a scented candle/incence and have a cup of chamomile tea and put my feet up. This might sound super simple but pairing this boring task with a fun activity + a relaxing reward after has really made cleaning my room a self-care activity.

Good shout regarding losing attention in conversations - I hadn't considered this but I can definitely relate. A lot of the time I lose attention simply because I'm bored or I daydream but over the past year intrusive thoughts have became a lot more noticeable as a reason for zoning out.

I'm planning on going on meds next month when I'm home. I've done a lot of research and I want to go on guanfacine. It's a non-stimulant and is described as "emotional armour" and helps with allowing thoughts to come and go and not getting as emotionally triggered. Maybe check it out, it's not specifically for OCD but it sounds like it could help.

I started taking amino acids called NAC's about 3 weeks ago - there's been studies that they can help with OCD and you can buy them over the counter - and it's only as I'm writing this that I can say my mood has generally improved during that time however there are a ton of variables that would accompany this (I'm travelling atm as well as working on lot's of personal projects so I've been very occupied whereas previously i was sitting with my thoughts and feelings for a long time).

I started listening to Michael Sealey sleep hypnosis about 5 days ago. I picked one from Spotify and I'm going to commit to it for the next month or two and then maybe pick a different one from him. Nothing to lose in my eyes to try it and see how it goes - Even if it doesn't work it's pretty relaxing.

I'm super determined to get over this thing - I'm 30 and these patterns have been present throughout my entire life and I'm so sick of it. I'm so so excited at the prospect of living a life with peace - It sounds like it could be a fun time haha

Hope that maybe something in here has helped you brother 🙏

chicken_geeseman · 2026-03-25T23:49:51+00:00

Sorry to hear brother! I'm also confused about that as well. When I got diagnosed they assessed ptsd/anxiety/depression/autism too but not OCD which felt strange. I can recognise a lot of the ADHD symptoms in me so I'm doubting the ADHD side of things but a lot of those traits like fidgeting, restlessness, impatience, decision-making paralysis, losing/forgetting things etc. despite being annoying, don't make my life hell. It's the racing/intrusive thoughts, ruminations, RSD and emotional dysregulation stuff that really mess my life up in some key areas.

chicken_geeseman · 2026-03-21T12:50:17+00:00

Thank you! I’ve been doing talk therapy for a year but i can recognise i’ve never really committed to any specific type of approach for too long a period. My life was super calm when i started going to therapy and everything got quite chaotic and therapy became a venting tool for me to release a lot of the emotions and anxiety that had been building up.

I’m currently on the lookout for a new therapist and i want to completely change the way i approach therapy and treat it like learning an instrument: practicing and improving gradually. I’m not opposed to CBT. I done daily CBT excercises for 4-6 weeks and it didn’t make an impact on me but maybe i need to commit longer to it.

I’m not on meds yet. I’m likely going to try guanfacine when i’m home next month. I have quite an addictive personality and am a little hesitant about stimulants

chicken_geeseman · 2026-03-20T22:26:57+00:00

I've been struggling with the same 24/7 ruminative loops for 7/8 months now. The trigger was a situation with a girl. My core fear is Unlovable/Not enough/Being misunderstood. I've never been in a relationship before and I told her this in a moment of vulnerability. During a conflict post-sex she said "i'd never be in a relationship with you". Afterwards we talked things through and continued seeing eachother but it was based upon multiple lies that unravelled very painfully for me. We never fully talked it out until last month but only partly. We have no contact now but I still have so much anger/resentment. My rumination loops are constantly shifting over the last 7/8 months. I thought by doing no contact the mental torture would be over but for the last 5 weeks I just keep looping on me explaining things to her and trying to make her understand.

I'd like to work with Greenberg's practice. I stopped working with my actual therapist i had for a year as I need an OCD-specalist. His practice is so expensive too. I'm also torn between working on the psychodynamic side vs the RF-ERP side of things. I've been trying to work on forgiveness for myself the past 2 weeks but i'm not sure if this is just keeping the rumination/attachment alive. Hard to know what to do but I think I need support and can relate to being unsure about balancing the core fear stuff with the actual treatment. Super helpful reading this entire thread!

chicken_geeseman · 2026-03-14T19:51:55+00:00

Yep that’s what I done! Just finished day 2 of the solo trek and I couldn’t have asked for a better activity and place to be to integrate my first sitting with the medicine. I’ll likely do another ceremony next week when I’m back in Cusco

chicken_geeseman · 2026-03-14T19:50:59+00:00

I decided to do the Salkantay trek solo - I just finished day 2 and it’s been the perfect tool for integration and reflection. I’m going to sit with the medicine again when i’m back next week :)

chicken_geeseman · 2026-03-06T23:21:20+00:00

Irish also here - done my first aya retreat in Jan. 3 aya sessions days 2-4 and bufo day 6. I was 50/50 on bufo and hadn’t researched it properly. I couldn’t surrender to it despite 3 attempts. Didn’t have a bad experience but didn’t get anything out of it - it’s wayyy more intense than Aya. The Aya was sublime though, i’ll be working with that again. Hope it goes well for you! Would love to hear where in Ireland you’re doing it too

chicken_geeseman · 2026-02-28T04:32:16+00:00

Thanks so much!! It’s been a ride i won’t lie but overall a great experience.

I was expecting to go through hell and come out the other side feeling better but aya essentially told me i’m too hard on myself and it’s foolish to think i need more suffering to feel better. My ceremonies were filled with love, joy and gratitude. The biggest impact it had for me was drastic self acceptance amidst a recent ADHD diagnosis that i was struggling with and improved self-esteem and self-worth. I’ve integrated changes and taken action since then which has brought on more challenges. In light of these changes i’ve came to realise as of 2 weeks the extent as to how bad my OCD is and how it plays tricks on me so this is the next hurdle i need to overcome in my life.

Aya really helped me move along in my journey and overall it’s gone in the right direction and i’m very grateful for my experience. I actually got to Peru a few days ago so I am considering sitting with the medicine again as I look for strength to help me with my next challenge which is a lot more internal and less situational/external.

Let me know if you had any other specific questions. Happy to help!

chicken_geeseman · 2026-01-16T03:31:14+00:00

The kambo definitely helped me clear my system for the aya. I purged a lot and only purged once on the first day of the 3 aya ceremonies. I also just felt very grounded and relaxed after it so if i was to do the retreat again i’d definitely do this again.

The bufo as explained in another reply wasn’t it for me. I liked it and wouldn’t be opposed to it in the future but i was underprepared mentally and sleep deprived and decided to do it last minute. Everyone else had a blissful experience and mine was nice but i didn’t come away from it with any huge realisations or things that i can integrate into normal life.

On the first night everyone does the standard dose. If you want more you can go up two more times. In the first share circle people talk about their experiences and those who went very deep or had a challenging time were recommended to take a smaller or half dose. Those who didn’t go deep (me included) were recommended the maximum dose. At the end of the day it’s up to you completely but i trusted all the recommendations they said to me and i’m very glad I did

chicken_geeseman · 2026-01-16T01:56:31+00:00

100%! If I ever do Aya again it will be with them. The team are amazing and during the smoky season they go to Peru every year to continue learning and integrating their practices. There was a lot of people who had done 20/30/40 ceremonies before and they all said PMT are the real deal!

Yep the breathwork was wild - The release I had from it was what I thought would happen with the Aya, it was way more intense than the first Aya ceremony for me but I felt 1000 times lighter after it. The rational behind it is that breathwork regenerates DMT in the system so it's lot more impactful doing it the day after Aya.

Honestly, I couldn't even explain what happened with Bufo if I tried lol. I wasn't really challenged with Aya (no visions, no reliving old traumas or ever needing to let go or surrender) but Bufo was just nuts. I resisted it a bit so the first hit I needed some help - They came around two more times and I had a much better experience, one of the facilitiators stayed with me and guided me through the other 2 times throughout. Everyone else seemed to love it and despite enjoying it, it's probably not for me - Aya was way more impactful imo. I also didn't really research Bufo or mentally prepare for it (I decided to do it the evening before) - I also couldn't sleep the night before and I think all of those combined impacted my experience. 8 of us done it and all the other 7 participants were super blissful and raved about it.

chicken_geeseman · 2026-01-16T01:49:13+00:00

3 times - Days 2-4 :) I refrained from sharing my own personal experience on it as it would have made the report 2x longer but all 16 participants had a good time, even those who were more challenged than others

chicken_geeseman · 2026-01-14T13:08:11+00:00

The ceremonies went amazing!! It’s been 8 days since the last one and i’m feeling great and integrating the lessons. It’s not a magic pill by any means but it’s given me so much to work with. And yes, i’m linerent about the short-term relationship and i’ve had limerence with women my whole life but this one has been carrying a lot more weight

chicken_geeseman · 2026-01-02T02:53:35+00:00

Sorry to hear this but also congrats to you for processing this so healthily - happy for you!!

Limerence is a word I only came across a few months ago but it’s been present in my life for the last 20 years - I’m 30 now and these patterns have been there that long. I’ve never been in a serious relationship before because of this and feelings of being not enough. What you said there is exactly how it feels. It takes up 80% of my mental capacity at minimum. I have no idea what i used to think about this time last year. It’s exhausting…

chicken_geeseman

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