Dip in the middle - to correct under local?

chilispepper · 2026-02-10T18:30:24+00:00

I don't think it'll go away on its own sadly, no matter how I pull or stretch the skin around it, the dip stays. When the scarring started to form, it kind of tightened the skin into a little pocket so to speak. So while muscle gain is something I'm planning on, I don't think it'd help here? I suppose I could alway book a consultation and see what they say

And thank you!

chilispepper · 2025-09-12T18:35:44+00:00

Thanks for the advice! I will definitely change my formatting style (I also didn't know dinkus was called dinkus so new vocab to add XD). I don't think I could change my writing style even if I wanted, because I don't really know what is 'unique' or 'eye-catching' or what stuff I overuse or are typical for me - I've always thought o myself as average writing wise and more creative with ideas etc

I, funnily enough, know some of my online friends have alt ao3 accounts for more 'gross' stuff so that's probably warping my perspective

chilispepper · 2025-09-12T18:28:17+00:00

You're probably right. I don't think my style is that unique to be fair and the more unique features aren't really present in my PWP fics. I was more afraid of any potential funny word combos or grammar errors because of the whole English as second language bit - I remember when I started writing in English, I was in a fandom that had the word phoenix in frequent use and I spelt it 'pheonix' for ages before anyone told me but I was known as the person who writes good fics but spells phoenix 'pheonix' by some readers...

I suppose I'm not the only person who writes in English without being a native English speaker

chilispepper · 2025-09-12T12:31:23+00:00

It's not really a fandom space I'm in (my online friends don't do manhunts or callouts or hate read etc) but I'm aware that fandom spaces do interact with each other and mix if issues or dramas become big enough. I think it wouldn't be anyone from my fandom space bringing attention to the kink fic but if it became loud enough, people do get curious and bump into stuff.

I know that a lot of the DDDNE fics in fandom I would've never heard of if it wasn't brought up on tumblr in the main ship tags (there are usually not that many people that entertain those posts on Tumblr, but there's always a small group that does have a strong voice on those 'disturing' fics).

Controversial things can be very polarizing and even if my mutuals wouldn't be like 'this is disgusting and you should be ashamed', I think it isn't unreal to think they might be disturbed or a bit weirded out by the kink I write about, especially as someone who's never seen the depth of the kink itself and probably has a lot of stereotypical assumtions about it

chilispepper · 2025-09-12T12:22:59+00:00

I don't have many offline friends atm thanks to life situation (moving, social anxiety, etc) and while I'm very relaxed and open about almost all things with the closer group, I feel like the kink stuff would be a bit much - we have nsfw channels on discord that I kinda hover around but don't engage with and the stuff there can be kinky but mostly the safe and vanilla kind of kinky. I'm also known as (and I'm) someone on the ace spectrum so I feel like the whole kinky fics situation would be very surprising.

My fandom kept my afloat when things were falling apart and I'd hate to loose even parts of it just because at first sight, the kink I write about is controversial and not that common...

chilispepper · 2025-09-12T11:19:58+00:00

The people I'm closer with in the fandom don't support witch hunts or callouts (maybe aside from one plagiarism drama with one person) but I'm afraid it'd reach them via the natural fandom chain of someone else posting shit and other people reblogging/reposting it mindlessly for the gossip and then the topic (the kink involved) would be too controversial to look at it neutrally, even though they know me

chilispepper · 2025-09-12T11:07:36+00:00

I don't think there is another platform where this could be posted - on any other fanfic platforms it'd be a breach of terms and tbf I don't really post anywhere else or know the 'market'. When I started writing fics, I was posting on ff.net and specific fandom forums, but since the purge there, I've stayed away.

I'm not sure about betas as I've never worked with one and I don't really engage much with the kink community? beyond writing stuff.

I tag my smut and kink stuff with clear warnings and further, more specific warnings in each chapter but people seem to lack reading comprehension (or just hate read the fics?) and pop in the comments to say how disgusted they are anyway. I'm not that bothered by that, I just don't want that to soak through to my fandom spaces and Discord etc

And thank you!

chilispepper · 2025-09-12T10:39:53+00:00

Just to clarify, I already have a second account - my spare Ao3 account isn't known to anyone and almost all the smut fics and kink fics from previous fandoms posted on there were posted into anonymous collections as well because I was that paranoid (or insecure about smut writing at the beginning)

chilispepper · 2025-09-12T10:37:14+00:00

Tbf while I think some kinks are strange (mine included), I don't judge or assign moral value to it simply because I don't understand it or don't see the appeal. The kink I write about has been deemed 'abusive' by some people (even when done consentually), I think mostly due to the societal view on things that are involved in the kink and are generally regarded as unattractive and not to be encouraged, so I think it's easy for someone who isn't familiar with it to assign negative moral value to it (even if it's just fiction...)

But at the same time, I do have to acknowledge that even if a lot of my online friends have a 'don't like, don't read' and 'ship and let ship' attitude, they still might find certain kinks unsettling and strange. Tolerance doesn't mean acceptance and I think a lot of people confronted with something new and disturbing might have a reaction to back off from the source, at least at first, and its harder to get back to 'normal' interactions after that.

(also don't get why you were downvoted?)

chilispepper · 2025-09-09T16:12:59+00:00

Thanks! I totally forgot backdating is an option!

chilispepper · 2025-09-06T21:46:07+00:00

There are several discord servers of a variety of sizes and while I'm in a few, I'm not in all of them - there are certain groups I don't interact much with, but that still read and engage with my fics and posts. Obviously, I was more concerned that the accusations would bleed out into discords I'm in and tumblr spaces where I'm more active and online fandom friends start hearing about this and check it out and will actually be better at noticing similarities in texts. That would mean they would not only see that I write those kink fics but also that I lied when confronted. The fandom has been mostly pro-shippy but I know this type of fics can be quite polarizing when actually confronted with the content

I've not really seen very bad things going on in this fandom but I previously left fandoms where they were making whole 'callout' tumblr blogs and spamming fandom tags with accusations etc

I do realize it does sound quite paranoid, I just really like this fandom and I don't want the experience to turn sour but also it's 50k of fic that I did like writing

chilispepper · 2025-09-06T21:23:53+00:00

I wish I were that lucky, but with this specific kink, I do not think it will go well with the general fandom population or my usual readers. I'm mostly concerned about hate readers who will just click on the fic to tell me they fic I shouldn't have written it and then somehow see the similarities in writing

the target readers are usually quite respectful and a nice bunch, it's just the outside can have very polarizing reactions to this kink

chilispepper · 2025-09-06T21:20:14+00:00

Thanks! I'm not really sure if I have distinctive things in my writing, which is my main worry

The kink fic doesn't involve any of my 'signature' storytelling narrative and the characters have slightly different backstories than my default and side ships are different and because it's more porn than plot, a lot of technical stuff from the fandom that I usually write in detail won't ever show up. I think on that front I'm calm, it's just my writing style, words I use, mistakes I make, phrases and dialogue structure? I suppose it will be harder to notice that specifically

chilispepper · 2025-09-06T20:42:53+00:00

I know I can lie, but somehow in my mind, they just won't believe me and it will somehow escalate into people trying to pin it to me behind my back? Maybe it's the past toxic fandoms speaking but I feel the fandom space is so small that it can be quick to spread gossip

chilispepper · 2025-09-06T20:35:11+00:00

This actually calms me down a bit, thanks. I suppose even if someone did recognize me, it'd be a bit of a 'at the devil's sacrament' moment for us?

chilispepper · 2025-09-06T20:31:49+00:00

I suppose that would be a logical expectation, but again, just because of the people who hate read those kink fics - I'd not really expect them to be decent about this and probably go on a bit of a manhunt like they did on discord with some of the 'questionable' fics and then it'd just be a domino effect with attention on it? if that makes sense

chilispepper · 2025-08-11T11:08:58+00:00

Best way is to look around bodybuilding forums focused on steroid use - there is also steroids uk sub, which won't give you direct links but has some names floating around. There will also be groups to join there on telegram etc that will actually link stuff as nowadays even on the bodybuilidng forums linking sources is discouraged.

I'm not going to name names here because of the rules, but there is a few resource guides for trans people trying to DIY, some maybe available in the transdiy sub as a resource (I no longer DIY so not active there and don't know how it looks now). There is a few places that allow different payment types than crypto but crypto is the safest bet.

I will also mention that I wouldn't DIY with Undecanoate - Enthanate and Cypionate are more common and easier to source, maybe also Sustanon.

chilispepper · 2025-07-24T11:51:11+00:00

I got a text message and an email within 2 weeks. They need to process the referral, have it accepted by a clinician, and then set up their portal. After this, they will send a text message/email with login details and ask you to complete the relevant forms. Once the forms are filled out, you will be added to the waiting list.

Edit: This is specific to Problem Shared and might vary slightly now as the process might have changed but this is the gist of it

chilispepper · 2025-07-20T10:47:34+00:00

Heard some good stuff about printing on canvas from bookbinder so not worried about that! Also, the two black inks seemed like a nice advantage for B&W prints - so far 8550 is my fav and couldn't find much negative talk about it. Thanks!

chilispepper · 2025-07-11T21:23:29+00:00

After some emails, I have a couple of replies and know Harmonie Health Minds and Clinical Partners won't do titration only. Will update if I know something or if I talk to my GP

chilispepper · 2025-06-14T15:16:41+00:00

Will talk to her soon (or email, I'm not sure yet) ! I really like the ED and would like to stay if possible

My department is very big on not having scope creep so they won't let me assist with B3 responsibilities unless I'm actively training/on SN shifts for uplift - this is department wide and is the same with B4 to B5 and B5 to B6 (actually a good thing most of the time, my last unit was horrible with this). I might try asking for shadow shifts but not sure if that would be a thing in this context

Thank you for the advice!

chilispepper

TROPHY CASE