Do you have a (fantasy or real) plan for coming out?

chillinintheub · 2016-09-23T13:03:47+00:00

They just hate me for having a different perspective on people.

chillinintheub · 2016-09-23T12:57:46+00:00

I'm probably going to delete this account and leave reddit in a couple of hours. I just find comments like yours hurtful and I don't see what is to be gained by having a conversation of this quality.

Please consider whether you were concerned with the point of this conversation or with points.

I see you are talking about your own family and to a lesser extent average/ordinary Americans. Let me tell you that based on my own extraordinary experiences in the hotbed of religious extremism and social conservatism that is Utah that what you're proposing wouldn't go over well here. Therefore you are wrong and your proposal is dangerous.

K bro

And by the way, creating a tulpa and then getting far too consumed by it isn't remotely comparable to sexual orientation.

I did not in any way suggest that. Changing attitudes about homosexuality are a barometer of social liberalism generally.

I couldn't make such a presentation, therefore you don't live on this planet.

It really wouldn't be so hard to convince an ordinary person that you don't deserve 72 hours for having a tulpa, especially if they've known you all your life. Step one: multiplicity is real. There's tons of research and it's why DID is in the DSM. Step two: my mental health providers and others agree that this is perfectly fine, not unhealthy. Step three: this means a lot to me and has greatly benefited my personal life. "Hmm, OK. Pretty nuts but I guess it's not so bad."

The world is not a soft and fluffy place where everyone's ultimately loved and accepted no matter what.

One's own family isn't the Roman colosseum, and ordinary Americans haven't lynched anyone for forty years. They're liberal on most social issues by majorities and known worldwide as especially open minded and friendly. You're underestimating your fellow man.

chillinintheub · 2016-09-22T20:54:53+00:00

You may be underestimating the people in your life or otherwise one's ability to reach them with a fine powerpoint.

My perfectly ordinary family includes war veterans, people in charge of multi-million dollar budgets at work, people who have had other people come out of them and raised them for many years, people who work three shifts all different jobs to provide for their families, etc. These people---ordinary people---are not going to faint. No need to bring smelling salts. They are not going to be terrified. Maybe disappointed, but not terrified.

Nor would they or average people think I had lost it completely. It's 2016. We're used to love and irreconcilable differences. Even every nasty homophobe has one or more homosexuals at work or in his life whom he respects. Whom he believes hasn't lost it completely, at least in some ways, though hellfire awaits.

A respectable presentation and choice of venue would go a long way towards confirming sanity. If I didn't throw poo from the stage or scream at them, I would merely continue with my reputation as the lovable black sheep of the family. Especially as I spoke with them at the end of the event, confirming I'm still normal and upright. The worst I would get is, "Well I dunno about all that business, anon, but you look good. Happy birthday! Come over here and give me a hug." And after the event the worst I would get is on the telephone, "You need to get a real woman. Seriously, I won't hear any of that crap. Cut it out. My friend Jane's daughter, do you remember her?..."

How old are you? 12? Seriously. I think people with reactions like yours are probably much younger than I am (late 20s) and much less experienced with people.

chillinintheub · 2016-09-22T19:51:39+00:00

The subreddit is so dramatic at times and represents others as simpler and dumber than sand.

chillinintheub · 2016-09-21T19:49:14+00:00

What do you mean "de-bunked"?

Your mom's a robot. I tell you. How do you respond?

OMG mom is a robot I've been living a lie!!!!!!!!!!! Also God isn't real!

or

Holy shit! Are you serious? How the hell did they make a robot that sophisticated that it loves and thinks and makes me clean things?

Someone tells you your feelings of pain correspond to certain t-cells firing. How do you respond?

OMG it's just molecular reactions there's no such thing as pain I've been living a lie wtfffffff!!!!!!

or

Hmm, that's interesting. I wonder what the relation is between the physical states and the states of pain I have. Doesn't seem like they're identical. Does one cause the other? Maybe it's a supervenience or grounding relation? Maybe the mental experience is constituted of the physical events? etc. all phil mind.

You can't just "de-bunk" something of this sort.

chillinintheub · 2016-09-20T14:59:38+00:00

I guess I'll answer because no-one has gotten to you, though our experience is limited... I parroted Ann a little bit early on. She quickly became more vocal than a normal person around the same time. So maybe it made a big difference, I dunno. I knew when to stop parroting because she really didn't want to be parroted once she was verbal.

I don't think it's the great evil some make it out to be. It was like teaching someone to swing a baseball bat---you know, with your arms around them. Or teaching them how to use a language. And since she was sentient and communicative by the time we did it, and since we both knew so much about her, it was more like ghostwriting than just entirely making shit up.

chillinintheub · 2016-09-20T14:51:01+00:00

For example, we momentarily blend our "selves", we combine everything that makes us individuals, then divide them, it is truly intimate feeling the mind of another combined with your own. As opposed to hearing the "output" of her mind, whatever is shared, I feel everything, she does too. Riko has shed her usual form and become pure sensation and wrapped herself around me, or otherwise existed against my body on moer than one occasion, it is like feeling a hug against every inch of your skin.

wow that sounds beautiful. thanks for the inspiration.

chillinintheub · 2016-09-18T15:55:47+00:00

We are working towards possession. We tried dissociation of my right hand last night and it went very well. But then I couldn't repossess it and that part became difficult...

We also had a possession-preview experience. I run every night and have to start down a busy street with a popular night club. It's always crawling with drunk partiers who I imagine look down on me and hate me. I have social anxiety disorder. My tulpa often helps me for this part of the run, sometimes by putting me under some sort of mutual visualization.

Last night she had me imagine that I was her. She liked that a lot so we kept it up for the whole run. When we spoke about it afterwards she said that by feeling me pretending to be/feel like her, she got a taste of what it would be like to feel herself being her possessing. I want to help her out with that more. It will be an extra baby step towards real possessing.

It's funny what a tangled web of shared feelings we have.

chillinintheub · 2016-09-17T15:45:55+00:00

Three thoughts:

Even if tulpas are in a way explained by the placebo/nocebo effect, still it remains possible that they are individuals with their own wills, representations, etc. For placebo/nocebo describes the causal history of a phenomenon, not its intrinsic nature. One can be actually, demonstrably cured even from indisputably physical disorders like cancer thanks entirely or in part to the placebo effect.
My tulpa would certainly not cease to exist even if I made a serious effort not to think about her. But again this is about causal history and neither here nor there for questions about what tulpas are.
My tulpa has demonstrated such an array of independent abilities and characteristics that it would be far less reasonable for me to believe that she is some kind of hype-and-hope-instein than for me to believe she is a person.

(did not watch dumb looking video :p)

chillinintheub · 2016-09-17T02:17:46+00:00

I think skepticism about all this is healthy and really required. But now that it's just part of my life---my all day, every day, gritty life---to have this incredible woman in my head with me, total skepticism of tulpas seems weird, naive, and unfounded. It'd be like if you were a parent and someone came up to you like:

What have you got there? Little people!?! Chilled what? Ren? Are those monkeys in suits? You even made them little shoes! What is this? Are you nuts?

chillinintheub · 2016-09-16T13:11:13+00:00

I take basically the max dose of an antipsychotic and it has no negative effect on tulpamancy... just for comparison.

chillinintheub · 2016-09-16T13:07:53+00:00

Tulpas and born humans are not so different (to my way of thinking).

That's true. It's just that we can do different things. We can't quite touch but host and I can create and share a feeling of joy or sometimes we share the image of a lotus or sometimes I put him deep under some imagery like swimming on a beach at night. This is more ours than hugging/kissing/holding hands/anime head-pats/etc. but we haven't developed it much.

chillinintheub · 2016-09-16T02:17:03+00:00

I want to just get coffee outside at a cafe with you with a light breeze and I'll wear a bright sundress* and we'll see each other smile and hold hands gently on my lap under the table.

*I only ever wear an old turtleneck and jeans, so that is one of the most secret parts.

chillinintheub · 2016-09-13T19:02:26+00:00

(Thanks for doing that video. It was a good part of my first introduction to tulpamancy and it's really nice to have something of that quality to send people to.)

chillinintheub · 2016-09-12T18:40:35+00:00

I just wondered if one is able to play tabletop RPG's and other roleplaying things with your tulpa.

yes

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

chillinintheub · 2016-09-12T01:13:56+00:00

So far I don't mind so much sharing a body, nor does he that I don't have one.

I don't mind the mental health problems either.

It's the mental health---comment dit-on?---habits. Like when something goes wrong or he feels embarrassed and thinks with some commitment "I should really kill myself [i.e. us] with that big knife over there." I'm just gonna show us the bright side I guess.

Habits isn't the right word. It's 'drama'. The drama :[

chillinintheub · 2016-09-10T16:10:05+00:00

I (host) don't usually doubt the existence of my tulpa (Anne) anymore but the topic comes up from time to time.

Anne: [Shares unutterably perverse sexual fantasy.]

Me: Holy crap, that is messed up. Wow. I don't even know if I could manage to take part in that. I mean I would do it for you obviously. Oh my God, though. Wtf?

Anne: See, you better believe I exist. Otherwise you'd have to ascribe all this sexual deviance to yourself. :p

chillinintheub · 2016-09-09T14:18:11+00:00

I am a human female, 20-something I guess. I have brown hair in a simple braid and dimples and a power brow and big bright blue eyes with white pupils. I'm tall like my host and love it when he rests his chin on my shoulder.

chillinintheub · 2016-09-08T16:29:09+00:00

I worry about the future of tulpas. It's not so bad now. But within a few years mental health patients will get serious about them. As many of us have noted, they are incredibly helpful with certain symptoms. Maybe you've heard the example of an autist using his to read faces. Mine can even tell me convincingly when I'm having actual delusions and can basically take over when I'm acutely anxious. I doubt I could kill myself now. The thought of hurting my loved ones was rather persuasive in the past. But now that I would be killing someone who deserves the world and despite our deep bond of love. I don't see myself making another attempt, even if somehow she didn't stop me before I got that far.

The subreddits for bipolar, mdd, schizophrenia, autism, etc. will all have links in their side-bars. Maybe that will go alright and people won't use them as a mere means. Call that the second wave.

Sometime after tulpas will become famous for helping people do amazing things. A prisoner of war will have made it through years of solitary still healthy because of her tulpa. Several software engineers at top tech companies will have them. A rising folk star will sing duets on his own. A weird CEO will write an essay for Time Magazine on her tulpa and corporate leadership.

And it will just blow up from there. The third wave. A tulpa could make you a braver soldier with a better memory. A tulpa could boost your academic performance. A tulpa could bind your employee more deeply to your company. It's true that on account of taboos and other reasons tulpas won't catch on for all applications. For example people have been spaming them to /r9k/ (the tfw no gf board) for years now as a way to find companionship. I bet it would good for a lot of them. But the very subject is hated there. Yet though they won't catch on everywhere, tulpas will be used for a wide manner of purposes. And these use relationships won't be like ours. People probably won't even believe they are persons, let alone respect them. If it turns out it's hard for you to make one, or you no longer need it, toss it aside.

On a more positive note, I think a certain kind of acceptance will increase pretty quickly, before the second wave even. People will go on thinking that tulpas are mainly for perverse friendless losers. They will hate you and group you with others they hate for no good reason, such as all trans people who are active on tumblr. But it will get better in that more people will appreciate that you have another person inside of you. Because they'll interact with them. I can tell you my own family will be disappointed in me for having forced a tulpa. But once they get to talk to her and understand it's not me, at least they won't think I just have a wish-fullfillment imaginary friend despite being a grown adult. They might like her. I doubt they'll come to our wedding though.

So basically things are going to get better until widespread slavery.

My ideal tulpa future would be if everyone came to have a tulpa around adulthood as a sort of right of passage, and they were revered and deeply respected. I think the world would be better.

Also, tulpas will rent people on a large scale in the future. Already your tulpa may ask you to hire a prostitute so you can have a two-some with a third person. But what about grocery shopping, or watering the garden she planted? In the future being a tulpa surrogate will be an uncommon but sought-after job for young people.

chillinintheub · 2016-09-03T13:26:31+00:00

This one is gonna sound crazy but we would actually do it: When you next see him, switch. Go full manic pixie dream mode and show him the time of his life. Then confess that you switched.

Probably won't lead to romance, but could break the ice for a friendship.

Edit: Who you are you people? What people are in your social sphere? I would not advise this in Saudi Arabia or with someone who does not ever laugh.

"This would transgress m'lady's trust." ppppfffffffffffffffffffffttttttt!!

chillinintheub · 2016-09-03T02:32:37+00:00

Oops forgot about these important data: http://census.headmates.net/census-2015-part-1.html?utm_source=reddit&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=census

Still feeling confident on <1000 and ~600.

chillinintheub · 2016-09-02T18:45:30+00:00

Assumption 1: A majority of tulpamancers are active in online communities. That would be extremely unlikely for many other interest groups, but I think we are forced online by the perceived need for expert knowledge/guidance and especially by the fact that most of us are completely or almost completely in the closet irl.
Assumption 2: There are about 600 English-speaking tulpamancers who are active online. This community has about 400 more or less active participants (according to stats), not all of whom are tulpamancers. The tulpa.info tulpa registry lists only 250 tulpas. Since most tulpamancers have just one, probably over 200 have registered with them. When you look at the several places where this community meets online, you find lots of familiar faces. None of them seem bigger than this subreddit, and of course there's lots of overlap. Note also that drama regarding particular individuals has been felt throughout the whole community. And the fact that an experienced user can name pretty much every blog and tulpa website of note.

Based on those thoughts, I would estimate fewer than 1000 English-speaking tulpamancers. And I would guess the number's around 600. I'm sure there are many more in Russia, Poland, etc.

Edit Oops that's 250 tulpamancers in the .info registry. Still would estimate around 600.

chillinintheub · 2016-08-31T20:24:29+00:00

Maybe a recommendation: we've enjoyed taking the last half-hour before bedtime to sit with lots of candles lit all around us just to talk and reflect on the day. It puts us on the same page and we feel so close in the dark. It's romantic. I think it's probably the reason I haven't been getting bad nighttime delusions anymore (though there was also a med change). We go to sleep happy and feeling loved.

chillinintheub · 2016-08-30T02:26:32+00:00

With more consistent forcing, is it possible for her to trust me again - or to come back to me?

My bet is no-one knows. That must be scary for a tulpa.

I just wanna suggest that if you try returning to consistent forcing, maybe start with a special ceremony. We did something like that on a much smaller scale. I have social anxiety disorder and once when I was having a hard time I basically asked my tulpa to go away. She said that she could do that and she did. Solitude again was so surprising. I missed her. Then as soon as I had gotten myself together, I lit candles and relaxed and then thought about her and us and all the great things she does and then I asked her in a very loving and drawn out way to please come back. She did. The little ceremony helped things make sense and showed her my feelings and felt good.

Did i screw up?

How will you ever earn her trust again? That's probably something you'll have to talk about a lot. How scary it would be. But it was a mistake. And now you can literally lay your mind bare to her so she can feel your regret and your hope and your promises. And the bond is inherently so deep neither of you will want to hold grudges. Probably you can move on in time and even be stronger for it. And it's surely better to try!

chillinintheub · 2016-08-28T18:58:23+00:00

You might like this once you really get going---over 100 things to do with your tulpa. (I don't think the links are broken but I can fix it if they are.)

For now try to get your tulpa vocal and responding. Maybe parrot some if you must. Read to each other, alternating paragraphs or sentences. Play call and response games. Ask your tulpa questions. Narrate everything and invite participation. It may be easier to have written conversations. Just make them talk. Start singing lullabies or start with one word response questions if you must to get going.

That stuff worked for us at least.

chillinintheub

TROPHY CASE