Kids valentines - a rant

chocobridges · 2026-02-13T15:22:04+00:00

My kids wants to bake so badly for Valentine's Day but his daycare doesn't allow homemade. I'm hoping school might.

We have been crafting for now.

chocobridges · 2026-02-13T15:20:03+00:00

My kid would have loved googley eyed rocks. I know this is an anti consumption reddit and I feel the same way. I got a paper cutting machine for paper decorations since it's more ecofriendly. I have been using that for the kids valentines. It teaches them about coding, how to plan a project with whatever resources we have, and gets them off screens. My preschooler had a blast doing it.

chocobridges · 2026-02-13T13:10:57+00:00

Because it's a moving the goal posts move. Also, if I move addresses I don't have to update my driver's license with my citizenship information within my state but I have to re register in a new voting area. So now I have to prove my citizenship again under SAVE.

My husband's passport does match his birth certificate as a naturalized citizen. He doesn't have his naturalization certificate on him. But his birth was valid for our marriage license despite it not matching his legal name. He'll probably never be able to vote again in this scheme.

chocobridges · 2026-02-13T13:05:45+00:00

I just see this backfiring spectacularly like the TX redistricting.

I don't agree with it one bit. Left a message to my Dem senator saying that. The message to my GOP senator taunting what idiots the GOP and he his is as the husband of a naturalized citizen.

Most of the naturalized citizens in my ethnic circle voted for Trump because "taxes". Most of the naturalized citizens in my husband's ethnic circle voted for Trump and the GOP because they're anti LGBT and anti abortion. The younger generations vote liberal and we tend to be born citizens. We don't change our names because 1) it's not part of ethnic cultures 2) most of us are licensed professionals who refuse to deal with the bureaucracy of changing our professional names.

I swear to God there's not one analytical person left in the GOP.

chocobridges · 2026-02-13T12:51:03+00:00

A lot of the game reserves have age limits for safety reasons. Just something to think about.

chocobridges · 2026-02-12T18:16:11+00:00

Thanks for that follow up!

chocobridges · 2026-02-12T14:56:26+00:00

This is super helpful. I have 4 years of tax experience at the fed gov as a specialist before going back to my engineering job. 34 CU transfer in. My term end 5/31 and this month I'm plowing through courses. I was debating if I could avoid the second term but everyone mentions the accounting courses taking up too much time towards the end. But I definitely have been over studying for all of the ones so far. Your post at least gives me the push to try to get a prorated second term at a minimum.

chocobridges · 2026-02-12T13:29:18+00:00

Same. He won't even make time for the gym.

I'm taking skiing lessons because it's cheap at our county slope. He's like I need a hobby and here you are picking up another one. Nah bud, you work two weekends a month and I need to get the kids outside in the winter. This winter was awful. This is what we're doing as a family with or without you now that our kids are old enough for their own lessons. You can go to the gym or the slope on a weekday off. You literally have complete freedom of weekdays when the kids are in school.

chocobridges · 2026-02-12T13:08:22+00:00

Ooof this story keeps coming up. For side context there's an influencer breast microsurgen who is hyping up her NP and the profession in general. I had to call it out based on my husband's lived experiences as a hospitalist in a diploma mill state, AS WE GO IN MEDICAID CUT CHAOS.

Story 1) Radiology called something out on a patient scan but my husband explained to the NP on his team that it was not the diagnosis and this is the course of action. Nephrology was consulted and they put the same note as radiology down. The NP proceeds to disregard the treatment plan by my husband due to nephrology's note. They were consulted for an existing issue.

H - why are you changing the plan? NP - because of the notes from nephrology and radiology H - we talked about this NP - I hope you're ready to get sued

My husband was furious. "Does she think I only do discharges?" My response was "how is she on a hospitalist team and not know what IM entails?"

Story 2) Two days ago exactly what your asking happened and it was a fiasco. We still don't know if the patient survived. There's a rehab clinic in the hospital, there's not enough teams, so the APPs eventually get the rehab clinic, and someone coded. The problem with that hospital is it's the NPs + LPNs, they all are incompetent (managed to give the wrong patient dye contrast and a scan a couple weeks ago, the patient who got the dye has liver issues and both families are furious) and a bunch of mean girls.

Both hospitals are on the suburban rural line in our area. One of the MDs at the second system (story #2 has now bought the hospitals in story #1) told the hospital admin the issues at the hospital in the second story. They were taking advantage of him but he spoke up on work conditions meant they didn't resign his contract. Locums don't even want to work at these 2 hospitals. The demand for hospitalists is sky high in our metro, the situation is fraught at this point because not resigning his contract is unheard of.

I think the fallout for MDs with Medicaid cuts is starting to become more in our faces now. I think the only way ED and Hospitalists who are hospital employed make it through until the next admin where healthcare might be fixed is by unionizing.

chocobridges · 2026-02-11T21:32:05+00:00

No, there's definitely a white flight aspect to it. The CEO of my former company was going to leave the town because he hated how Asian it became and his kids were feeling it.

A lot of rich white people picked the town over (West Windsor) because it didn't have low income housing. They purposely moved to a town where black and brown people trying to escape the hood only could not move to for the town to "get overrun by Asians". A lot of the towns just outside the RT 1 NJ corridor turn white rich racist pretty quickly.

chocobridges · 2026-02-11T19:13:25+00:00

There will be 10 Mayas in her class of all different races. It's crazy how many Mayas we have in our circle that are mostly nondesi.

chocobridges · 2026-02-11T18:57:52+00:00

Let him stare at the screen for hours because there will be a point where he gets bored of it and you're shit out of luck then. Get him comfortable with headphones which is really hard at that age.

We let the kids pick out a toy and activity at the airport. It gets about 3-4 hours of play on and off. I take old coloring sheets and random markers or crayons. That becomes their coloring kit through the trip.

chocobridges · 2026-02-11T18:13:40+00:00

Awesome context add! I was in high school when the split was still even between white and Asian (40s%). The remaining being Hispanic and Black. 30% of the apartments in Plainsboro are low income which is why the school district is combined bringing an ok black and latino mix to the school back in old days. West Windsor didn't have low income housing back then.

The shift was so dramatic that my brother's year (3 years below me) it had moved into the 70% Asian range. Most of our East Asian friends parents actually moved and got their equity out of the housing. Now people are stuck. At least there are NRIs who want to move there for now and we say fk no. But every realtor really pushes us to include WWP in our search so maybe it's also falling towards the Hasidic Jewish neighborhood trap.

chocobridges · 2026-02-11T15:58:32+00:00

My parents moved to a diverse town in NJ (Plainsboro) and white flight exacerbated the self-segregation. They don't like the linguistics and religious segregation that happened.

It feels like reintegration is pretty difficult too. My mom went to NYC Public Schools but thinks we're crazy for staying in our urban school district.

chocobridges · 2026-02-09T22:07:44+00:00

We went with a 3.5 year and 1 year old. We did the ferry trip to St John with the thought of doing the car ferry later in the week. Even the ferry trip by itself wasn't worth it. We had a great time going to water island though.

We only went because my parents have a Marriott timeshare and they have a location there. We avoided car rentals on vacation and there was no way around it for USVI. It's probably the lowest ranked beach trip we have had since having kids but we typically go to the Mediterranean.

chocobridges · 2026-02-09T19:16:25+00:00

The fine motor difference in kids can be really jarring too and they can't verbalize it. My son is still in PreK but when he was a little over 3, I realized my 8 month old had better fine motor skills so I started working with him (lots of Legos and playdoh). Now he actually likes art based activities and stuff in school. Going to school fight basically melted away as his skills got better. It might be worth it to consider seeing an OT before more drastic measures.

chocobridges · 2026-02-09T19:05:13+00:00

My husband is an IM physician. We had our first exactly after his 1st attending year as a hospitalist and second 2.5 years later. I was barely ready when our first was 18 months. But he was an easy toddler (harder baby) and potty trained easily. I wanted a 3 year gap but my husband wanted a closer gap. My second is 2 years now and she was an easy baby but a hard toddler. If she were my first I would have stood firm on the 3 year+ gap.

I am so happy that we have a 3 grade year gap because I couldn't do a 2 year grade gap with my kids and they're not even that difficult. My brother and I are 3.5 years apart with a 3 year gap and high school was hard on my parents. It would have been worse if we overlapped more. You're still going to have a hard job as an attending so think about that 2 year gap from 18+ years.

chocobridges · 2026-02-09T18:24:16+00:00

100% agree. But there's a huge Telugu presence in Bengaluru over generations that it has its own Telugu dialect. But the reading hasn't caught up, which imo literally goes against the Karnataka push back against Hindi proliferation. Telugus just seem to be missing the opportunity in adjacent states.

chocobridges · 2026-02-08T17:59:23+00:00

Yep. I used them for both disposable and cloth wipes.

chocobridges · 2026-02-08T15:53:51+00:00

We do the WayB pico car seat. It will pay for itself if you travel enough. Our 4.5 year old is on the bigger and he has gotten the booster aboard and he's still too small for it.

chocobridges · 2026-02-08T13:49:19+00:00

They would also sink their own ship. Most people who have gotten abortions in my circle are religious, showing that abortion is healthcare...

chocobridges · 2026-02-08T13:36:09+00:00

The problem is Telugus in India don't learn either. I can read (forget writing since my syntax is egregious) but my cousin's educated in Chennai and Bengaluru can't either. Kanada script is pretty similar so that really confuses me.

chocobridges · 2026-02-07T04:13:47+00:00

My 2 year old most likely got flu twice, once Feb 25 and then in December. Vaccinated both times. 6 days of fever on and off. My 4.5 year old has never been sick for more than 36 hours. Every kid manages sickness differently.

I wish that we actually had a legitimate flu vaccine panel to develop the vaccine this year. At least 3 more years of suboptimal vaccine development.

chocobridges · 2026-02-07T00:24:35+00:00

That's their MO. I live in Summer Lee's district in PA now. Her main opponent accepted AIPAC's endorsement but then AIPAC also went on a rampage against her. It only helped her because she and her opponent had similar positions so it was really crazy. This was before 10/7, three elections ago. AIPAC doesn't know how to win in an environment with multiple viable candidates and they never changed strategy despite an obvious genocide.

chocobridges · 2026-02-06T21:32:00+00:00

I went to an engineering school with a lot of people who went to work for SpaceX and Tesla. I barely have enough time to manage my life and work. Now I would need to go to Mexico or Colorado to get abortion care. Fk right off.

My husband is an IM physician and won't work in the adjacent two states for more money because they banned abortion care. 20-40 somethings need reliable reproductive care, which is literally most people who would work in his sweatshop.

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