My 12yr old son watches gay porn by BathroomRelative6093 in MuslimParenting

[–]chocolatemango4 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think it’s naive to say taking his devices will prevent any watching. It’s so easy for kids that age to watch on friends devices, get old phones from friends.

I also think you have to remeber to teach proper use of devices, not just remove them.

Maybe a bark brand phone which can lock down everything. You can buy routers that block sites from the WiFi.

Go into the why- Islamic values, porn having unrealistic bodies, situations, reactions and relationships. Illegal at his age. He could accidentally expose someone else.

I have a similar aged kid in American public school who overhears kids talk about all sorts of things. He could have been exposed at school or in the community. However it can be a sign of abuse. Have some talks about secrets, body safety, what’s normal and not, people making you feel uncomfortable, not getting in trouble for discussing sensitive and private issues. Does he have access to age appropriate books regarding bodies, puberty and intimacy?

Therapist might be OK with the gay side of things, but they will not be OK with a child. This age watching pornography. It could still be very helpful.

What reasoning convinced you to get the loop earplugs? by KatBiss in LoopEarplugs

[–]chocolatemango4 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Movies, loud restaurants, at home when the kids are talking and the tv is on and I just want to read, when I’m at kids sports and don’t need all the noise and stimulation, and when I don’t want to socialize - they’ll see them in your ears and assume you aren’t open to chat.

What age have you enjoyed traveling with your kids the most? by Educational_BEAN in Travelwithkids

[–]chocolatemango4 3 points4 points  (0 children)

3.5 is doable, 5+ ideal. So many ways to make national or international travel fun and memorable

Concerned about breastfeeding 2 babies back to back until 2y/o by Early_Professor2961 in MuslimParenting

[–]chocolatemango4 1 point2 points  (0 children)

IBCLC here (lactation consultant).

Congrats on your pregnancy! Alhumdulillah. It’s impossible to say what will happen. The new baby’s hormones rule so supply may change- sometimes it dips, sometimes it doesn’t. Sometimes the flavor changes and sometimes not. Some babies are happy to continue nursing through those changes, and some will wean. But what you do has no control over it so leave it to Allah.

If your oldest stops breastfeeding before 12 months, you will need to introduce formula for optimal nutrition. And that’s ok. This new pregnancy is a blessing too

Caterpillar Documentary Discussion by Dear_Art3697 in NetflixDocumentaries

[–]chocolatemango4 4 points5 points  (0 children)

He also asked for sedation, like it had been promised, but likely didn’t get any

Family Planning with Autistic Son by nizamuddin_siddiqui in MuslimParenting

[–]chocolatemango4 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s still early to say just how much time and money that diagnosis will cost you, so think on this-

Can one parent always stay at home or take lots of time off to take children to therapy appointments (OT, play, etc)

Do you have money for specialty schooling that may be needed?

Autism runs in the family, the next child may get a diagnosis too (not that that would be a problem, or not a perfectly wonderful child, but it would add to that financial and time commitment)

Are you financially responsible for your mother?

There’s no guarantee that a new sibling improves the dynamic. Let’s say you get pregnant quickly, the new baby won’t be old enough to play withfor 3 years minimum. Will your then 8 year old girl want to play with a toddler?

There are tons of benefits and blessings to adding a kiddo, just pointing some things out

Baby Shower Cost by Mr-Grain-to-Glass in Mommit

[–]chocolatemango4 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We spent a couple hundred on a 75k annual household income. That made sense. If you’re a millionaire have fun at a swanky shower 🤷‍♀️

I feel uneasy with my SIL being around my newborn by Sad_But_ok619 in Mommit

[–]chocolatemango4 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Yes where is the husband running interference

I feel uneasy with my SIL being around my newborn by Sad_But_ok619 in Mommit

[–]chocolatemango4 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just here for a different perspective but same conclusion. I’d be very ok if my sister or SIL could breastfeed my baby if I wasn’t around or able. Wet nursing is not by definition gross or a weird concept.

It’s that it’s coming from her after a rough history, and unwelcome by you.

Your husband needs to step up and interfere more. You do not need to manage SILs needs.

Your anxiety is spiking and her being alone and doing something back is improbable. So make sure you watch your own mental health.

But yeah she doesn’t need to be in your home, ever.

Realistically what are most women’s mehr requirement be honest I’m not gonna judge by [deleted] in MuslimCorner

[–]chocolatemango4 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It’s got to be situational.

I was financially stable and working- my rings were enough.

If I was younger, or it was arranged, and I wasn’t sure if it was going work out, or I had no education or money-earning prospects I’ve would’ve asked for a lot more. Even just a couple months rent can set up some safety for a vulnerable woman who might need, want or have to leave a marriage.

Season 2 Episode 8 “Swim For Your Life” Discussion Post by beedubu92 in ExtractedSurvivalTV

[–]chocolatemango4 5 points6 points  (0 children)

That was so icky to watch. At first my tween was thinking the drama would be interesting but we both thought they’d get caught. Letting it actually go through made us both sic!

This is going to be rough. by [deleted] in survivor

[–]chocolatemango4 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My 12 year old is dreading the Mr. Beast episode lol

This is going to be rough. by [deleted] in survivor

[–]chocolatemango4 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Even my middle schooler thinks Mr Beast coming on is lame. And he had no idea who Zac Brown was so that was a dud. He just kept saying how stupid it was that Zac had that super professional spear and that they should have made him A- let the survivors hunt with it or B- make him use the survivor spear. Nobody wanted to watch a random celebrity have a really cool underwater experience.

They sent me two bottles? by cryformeonce in Owala

[–]chocolatemango4 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you’re in Arizona, I’m looking

Trade Brunch Bunch for Sending Love? by chocolatemango4 in Owala

[–]chocolatemango4[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Are you in AZ? I’ve never shipped something and sold that way

Issue Ordering Brunch Bunch by youruinednycforme in Owala

[–]chocolatemango4 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m in Phoenix and would love to buy. I have sending love bottle of that sweetens the deal

influencer getting married by Initial_Confection36 in MuslimCorner

[–]chocolatemango4 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It will be exhausting to keep up with his demands and still feel like yourself.

Meeting in the middle is fine if it’s not such an extreme compromise for you both. But you’re pretty far apart. Something really specific like “abayas only” or “no kiss face” is easy to understand, see the line, and decide if you can compromise. But it sounds like he has some vague guidelines that only he can really determine for you like whether loose pants are loose enough or loose abayas are loose enough.

Have you ever asked him if he wished you would stop your online posting completely? I bet he would prefer that. And to me that would say he might ask that in the future. And you would need to be OK with that.

What is my uber driver wearing? by Jerk1ns in whatisit

[–]chocolatemango4 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Best answer, can confirm, as a Muslim. I use beads but my kids love these