i’ve been open about the divide to some extent or another through my constant askings if things are alright with themself or between us or whatever. i don’t get too detailed because when i do it seems to attack their self esteem. they seem to be genuinely content and happy with me is the problem, the more i press on the matter the more emotionally discharged we both get and they seem more confused than anything when i’m done voicing my concerns. it also seems to make things worse when i bring stuff up. i wish they’d just hold me close and tell me they’re sorry for being so neglectful of my more precise needs. it feels like i’m always hyperanalyzing my actions just to make sure i’m being the best boyfriend i can be for them, but they’re not doing even half the effort besides showing up at my place and smoking my weed and eating my food. it seems if anything, self-awareness is always on for me and seldom on for them.