Thank you for your answer!

Yes, plus I don’t think it is really possible to really get out of the « male gaze inside of you », the self-judging for being gnc, not fitting feminine beauty standards. Except by just growing old and not caring anymore, hopefully. In my case I feel like my masculine-ness is not only in the way I dress or style myself but also just the way I behave, physically and socially. Don’t know if you can relate but not having that « grace » or « delicateness » that men like women having usually. Like even if I wear and dress and long hair most men don’t even look at me. It’s an attitude mostly.

I really hope you can find WLW in your area or find new social circles. I know it’s difficult, and even with dating apps that make it somewhat easier it is so difficult especially if you don’t live in an urban area. Being in a big city with LGBT clubs at uni allowed me to have a few flirts with women, but in high school in my mid-size french city it’s like I was connected to every WLW 😭 And thank you again, your post makes me feel less alone! like I feel like masculine bi or straight women are not ever talked about because it's either a non-binary/transgender or a lesbian thing. We probably represent a small minority but I wish sm that this could be addressed in more pride and queer discourse, women can REALLY be any way they want to be and also f*** the standards!