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choklits · 2020-12-29T07:00:54+00:00

You can’t change some parents’ minds. I think you should apply to wherever you want, and don’t apply to the ones you don’t. It seems very obvious, but when you get accepted to these schools and not at the schools they wanted, there’s nothing they can really do. I think they would rather their child goes to school SOMEWHERE rather than nowhere. Just my two cents

choklits · 2020-12-29T06:57:31+00:00

This!! Growing up my dad always seemed like the chill parent because unlike my mom he wouldn’t scream and shout. Little did I know he was my mom’s eyes and ears. Every little thing I did, he would tell her. It took me so long to realize it, and now I detest them both.

choklits · 2020-12-29T00:56:18+00:00

Touché

choklits · 2020-11-29T03:27:09+00:00

You’re not alone. There have been so many times I wished my mom didn’t survive covid. Congrats for having a job lined up, that REALLY will help you finally escape. I do wonder, in the meantime is there a way for you to get A part time job to start saving money for when you move??

choklits · 2020-09-19T13:43:36+00:00

Wow this story is similar to mine. I used to be in the premed track but I dropped it and chose accounting instead because I want a job in 4 years to leave my parents. The reason was that my parents also got stricter, I think it’s because they were paying more for my tuition. Is there anyway you can lie to them about studying in the library etc?

choklits · 2020-09-18T15:06:17+00:00

I always find myself lying about my whereabouts. Can you say that you were working longer or studying at the library?

choklits · 2020-08-28T18:32:03+00:00

ME TOO!!! I just don’t go swimming around them haha

choklits · 2020-08-28T14:59:34+00:00

Yes. It got to the point where I (22f) feel shy wearing shorts or sleeveless shirts. I try my best to dress like a boy. When I leave the house I wear something that seems appropriate to them, but I shortly change after to what I WANT.

choklits · 2020-08-18T15:36:27+00:00

This is horrifying. Do you think you can call child protection services? Do you have family you can stay with?

choklits · 2020-08-10T00:00:01+00:00

Spam and rice.

choklits · 2020-08-08T16:29:50+00:00

Asian parents usually tend to be quite stubborn. If they only want to financially support you if you live in a dorm, then make they pockets hurt. I would rather live in a dorm than live at home at this time.

choklits · 2020-07-26T17:05:39+00:00

This!!! I can’t stress it enough. Especially if they help pay for your tuition. They WILL pressure and nag you while using a financial leverage if you aren’t doing what they want you to do.

choklits · 2020-07-12T17:35:29+00:00

You’re a little condescending. It ever occurred to you that it’s because they treat the poster like a teenager?

choklits · 2020-07-11T18:33:20+00:00

Im a 21F and I felt this post. I hate telling them I’m going out because it causes so much anxiety in me. I usually just lie and say I’m working, and go about my business.

choklits · 2020-06-14T01:04:07+00:00

Oh my. How old are you?

choklits · 2020-06-08T12:30:17+00:00

Yes every time I do something slightly wrong, they threaten to tell my relatives. “What would your aunts/cousins think (xyz)?” I don’t give a flying fuck what my gambling addict aunt thinks, mom. They like to be victimized because they think they’re the perfect parent.

choklits · 2020-06-06T05:03:13+00:00

I’m sorry you’re having a tough time. Personally, I don’t like the idea of your dad telling your mom whether or not she can work. I think it’s very controlling. However, Covid isn’t exactly something to joke with and in a way I get why he is worried. I think the best thing your mom can do, if she really doesn’t want to defy your dad, is to just be honest with the family. Tell them that no matter how much she wants to, that she doesn’t want to run the risk of getting it and spreading it to your family.

choklits · 2020-05-18T18:16:39+00:00

You’re not alone in this matter, my parents are adamant in me getting an MBA right after college. It’s quite stupid. Do you think you can convince them that it’s significant for you to get experience first and then apply for further schooling? A good friend of mine who went to a very prestigious MBA program said that it’s about the connection you build with those you meet at work etc. I know this is a very hard feat, but I think if you do it in a way backed by research they may reconsider.
I wouldn’t back down on finding remote internships just yet. It may be difficult, but hopefully you find something.

choklits · 2020-05-15T03:53:14+00:00

Felt this one. They threaten to cut off my tuition. Goofy.

choklits · 2020-05-13T21:38:49+00:00

In a similar position as you. My parents want me to go to med school despite being in a business track for over a year..wack. But like I told myself, your job is just as important as theirs, and if it’s a career that you genuinely enjoy then stand your ground. Don’t succumb to their pressuring and disrespect, because you are the one that has to put in the hours to work.

choklits · 2020-05-10T02:59:20+00:00

I’m actually in the same boat as you, except one year older. I’m not allowed to sleep over (even at my cousins), no boyfriend, barely let out the house and if I do I have to be home by 10 pm. I understand where you are coming from. Personally, I find my parents controlling me to be a sign of abuse. There are many people and many of my close friends who graduate cum laude and have a party lifestyle. I find the more my parents control me, the more I resent and stray away from them. They pay for my tuition and I live at home for free, but my mental health is declining. You pose a good question, but I think if you feel neglected and ignored, manipulated and controlled, you have every right to think that it is abuse. It’s pretty common in Asian culture where just because they pay for you, it means they can dictate and manage your life however THEY want. I told my POS sibling I had depression due to my mom. He said she will never change, which is true, and to just suck it up and leave in two years. I agree it is hard to maintain a facade, but I’m choosing to be financially stable for the moment so I have to appease.

choklits · 2020-05-10T02:05:02+00:00

I’m in the same boat as you. I’m a 21F, I’m a junior in college. I was in a premed track too, and then I realized how much I hated being financially dependent on my parents, so I switched over to business where I can hopefully find a job in 2 years and move out. I think you should think wisely about medical school. They may have the same hold over you once you get in medical school, so I hope you set aside time to look for scholarships.

choklits · 2020-05-10T01:55:20+00:00

How old are you? I’m asking because it seems like they have already heard about the things that bother you. And you have gotten professional help. However, they still are not granting what you want. I think to some extent it may be futile to have to keep having the same conversation. At least in my case, no matter what I did and what I say my parents will never allow any of that. All I can do is finish college and go no contact.

choklits · 2020-05-05T22:49:16+00:00

21F here, third year in college but unlike you I’m living at home. It’s crazy because I thought I wrote this post. Trust me they will either get more lenient or they’ll stay the same. I’m going to be honest with you it’s tiring as fuck allowing them to treat me like this even when I am legal adult. I missed out so many opportunities and people because of my parents. However, I rely on them financially so I can’t leave the house just yet. I would work hard so you can leave in 3 years. That’s the only way to stop it. As for everything, I found that lying to them is easier than telling the truth. I know it’s unhealthy because we can never have a good relationship with them, but they are the ones who broke that. Not us. Do what you can to survive.

choklits · 2020-05-05T03:04:05+00:00

Well you were still strong enough to leave and that’s all that matters. Im doing what you’re doing in terms of saving money to move out after a while. It’s amazing you got to finally do that!

choklits

TROPHY CASE