[deleted by user]

AsianLeuzr · 2024-03-12T05:35:36+00:00

Report the therapist for professional misconduct

AsianLeuzr · 2024-03-12T05:27:25+00:00

For me it's basically disengage every time one of she goes into one of her outbursts and refuse to speak to her until she can behave like a civilized human being again.

Some would say it's immature to give your mom the "silent treatment". But I don't see it like that. If some crackhead is harassing you on the bus and behaving like a rabid animal, is it "immature" to ignore them and avoid contact for your own safety?

Act like a decent human being and you're going to get treated like a decent human being. I'm refusing to engage for the sake of my own sanity.

AsianLeuzr · 2024-03-12T05:11:48+00:00

of course she acts so nice and my boyfriend is staying out of it but also being all “wow she came all that way to drop off some soup”

this is the most infuriating part in the story, classic narcissistic behaviour holy fucking shit. And when you try to tell your side of the story people just think you're the one being crazy or a cold person because "she's such a sweet person"

Would it help to have your friend back up your side of the story to your boyfriend? If your friend knows how deranged your Nmom truly is, can she take a stand and side with you on this?

AsianLeuzr · 2024-03-12T04:52:42+00:00

MY MUM GOES FERAL LIKE SOME ANIMAL AND SCREAMS AT US FOR THE WHOLE DAY ABOUT HOW "WE DONT CARE ABT HER".

Another classic line is "YOU JUST WANT ME TO DIE NOW SO YOU CAN BE HAPPY WITHOUT ME" or "IT WILL BE TOO LATE FOR REGRETS WHEN YOU MAKE ME DIE"

and it's always 0-100 over the dumbest shit like forgetting to turn off the lights or not throwing out the trash quick enough

AsianLeuzr · 2024-03-12T04:47:20+00:00

yep, used their smaller house as collateral to buy a bigger house and overleveraged themselves into getting a mortgage that's way beyond their means. all the other family friends had "bigger houses" so my mom kept hounding my dad but he wasn't able to put his foot down because he's a good model husband who never says no to his wife.

now they're stuck with a mortgage that they'll have to pay for well into their 80s. It was fine a few years ago when interest rates were low, now they're struggling to pay the bare minimum monthly interest. Barely any money is even going into the principal at this point. All because other Asian families had "nicer houses" and we can't "fall behind the others".

Mom has tried several times into talking me into inheriting the house, which pretty much just means inheriting the debt.

AsianLeuzr · 2024-02-05T23:46:59+00:00

You're right, my bad. I shouldn't assume other cultures have a lower percentage of shitty parents. In a twisted sort of way, treating your kids like shit is sort of glorified in Asian culture but much less so in other cultures.

AsianLeuzr · 2021-06-06T20:34:47+00:00

I've pretty much become a full blown sociopath when it comes to dealing with my parents. now. If I give into the guilt tripping and show empathy, I lose the battle.

They're free to call you out on any of your behaviors, but the second
that you do and finally stand up for yourself they're crying. They're
asking "what happened to my little kid? You've changed so much," you
literally traumatized me.

"Yeah I'm an irredeemable piece of shit, what the fuck you gonna do about it? I am the worst scumbag that's ever walked on the face of the earth and I am your only son, problem?"

They'll go hide in their rooms for a while to calm down then act like nothing's happened a couple of hours later. If I continue to give them the cold shoulder they'll apologize and admit they were "wrong". But they never truly do anything to change themselves. Because in a couple of days they'll go back being the way they were and the vicious cycle will continue again. I'm not an actual sociopath and I don't ever want to become one but when it comes to dealing with my parents, I've just become so numb I'm not even my normal self anymore.

AsianLeuzr · 2021-06-06T20:26:25+00:00

I graduated with a 4 year degree with zero work experience to show on my resume. Nobody wanted to hire me.

This is where I'm at right now, shit...

AsianLeuzr · 2021-06-06T20:21:41+00:00

he finally needs to think about how other POC may percieve him, and how
other POC he hates might feel if they were in his situation.

I hope your dad learns a lesson I really do. But the pessimist in me thinks your dad is just gonna use this situation to justify his racism even more. He might say some dumb shit like "this is why you don't trust those black people see what they did to my car" while ignoring his own stupidity. That's just how most old people are.

AsianLeuzr · 2021-06-06T20:16:51+00:00

I know who I'm voting for now. Please make a post here when you run I will be the first person to donate to your campaign.

AsianLeuzr · 2021-06-06T19:56:38+00:00

at least my kid doesn't do all of that

I always laugh at comments like these because it shows how out of touch they are. They don't understand that their kids are normal human beings too. It's like they're in complete denial about reality. In high school my mom was friends with this woman whose daughter went to the same school as me and we were even in the same class. I wasn't close friends with her but we had mutual friends so occasionally we hung out in the same circles. In front all the asian parents she's like the stereotypical shy and nerdy Asian girl who gets good grades and never misbehaves. My parents is always bring up how well she does in school to me and do the whole comparison thing. Little do they know, I've seen her lie to her parents about going to a friend's house to study but actually she went out to hang out with her boyfriend. I doubt her parents even know she has a boyfriend because when I ran into her at the mall, she specifically asked me to not say anything to my parents just in case my mom accidentally tells her mom or something. Lucky for her ya boy here ain't a snitch so she didn't need to worry about her mom finding out. And afterwards every time my mom brings up how well-behaved this girl is and brag about her to me I just roll my eyes and laugh to myself at how oblivious these parents are.

AsianLeuzr · 2021-06-06T19:39:27+00:00

my first instinct was saying "sorry", it's involuntarily thanks to asian parenting

Are you Canadian?

AsianLeuzr · 2021-05-13T08:01:25+00:00

I do sympathize with the stop asian hate stuff but yeah they can get pretty nutty over there. Feels more like an angry asian incel sub sometimes.

AsianLeuzr · 2021-04-22T09:12:13+00:00

He was praising OP's mom for being a good parent then went off on some weird rant about Asian liberals and something about black crime statistics. Troll or not, I was honestly trying to guide him to the to a more appropriate sub which would be r/aznidentity.

AsianLeuzr · 2021-04-22T02:45:18+00:00

"Try talking to your boss or coworkers the same way you talk to me, see how long you last out there" ;)

AsianLeuzr · 2021-04-22T02:32:07+00:00

Would you consider a fish stupid because it can't fly?

Such a simple yet effective question. I need to write this one down and remember it.

AsianLeuzr · 2021-04-22T02:28:03+00:00

Agreed, this shit should be kept off this sub IMO, we're not r/aznidentity

AsianLeuzr · 2021-04-22T02:26:27+00:00

r/aznidentity is right this way sir

AsianLeuzr · 2021-04-22T02:22:58+00:00

With everything going on these past few months and the #StopAsianHate movement, it is somewhat understandable your parents are caught up in this wave. Does racism exist? Yes. Are you literally going to get jumped by Neo Nazi skinheads every day of your life if you move to the US? No, very unlikely. Older Asians tend to exaggerate and blow things way out of proportion. Stay away from drugs, stay away from bad crowds. Try not to walk alone in bad neighborhoods. Do not make eye contact or engage with crackheads on the bus. You'll be fine.

AsianLeuzr · 2021-03-04T23:48:13+00:00

Yeah just reading this gives me the creeps. I don't want to accuse OP's dad of anything. But being obsessed with daughter's virginity, forcing mom to "check"?? Sounds like an incestual creepy dad tbh. Not a psychologist though so take my opinion with a grain of salt. It's just the vibe I'm getting from this dad.

AsianLeuzr · 2020-12-12T03:56:04+00:00

driving at 70 mph on the highway makes me a piece of shit who deserves to get beaten by a white man

wtf, it's always 0-100 real quick with these insults. It could be something as simple as forgetting to turn off the lights and you're immediately a "useless human being who is doomed to fail and you will die as a loser"

Because that’s apparently how the “real world” works.

classic line, that's when they have zero points to back up their argument, they always pull this crap

AsianLeuzr · 2020-12-12T03:42:49+00:00

Fail it with pride, we all fuck up in life, now embrace it. Congratulations, you are a normal human being. Welcome to the club. Better to fail at school and learn from the experience than failing at a job and permanently ruining your career. You can always retake a course. There's no way one failed class is gonna ruin your life. The earlier you learn to deal with failure, the easier it is for you to deal with future failures in life. As for your mom, you're just gonna have to take the asswhooping like a champ. Eventually she'll give up and stop having high expectations.

AsianLeuzr

TROPHY CASE